Eolian Your post
"If you can't control the external social and family problems then you have to either admit defeat and accept that this is the way these kids behave and there's nothing much you can do about it"
reminded me of something I read yesterday from Michaela's new book.
It's a quoted report from one child's primary school. (I've abridged it, by the way). The sentence I''ve put in bold literally made me gasp.
"Darnell has a problem with authority…His problems are emotional. He’s typical of boys round here. He gets distracted easily and dislikes detentions. He attends the local Behavioural Unit 2 days per week. The other 3 days, he is in school until 1:30 pm because he simply cannot cope with the full school day….He has tantrums…he throws chairs…he often hits other children….He sees red daily….He has bad reactions when things go wrong and takes punishments very personally…I think a full timetable from September would be very damaging or him."
This is his Michaela form tutor's report 4 months in:
"Darnell is focused, hard-working and very enthusiastic in lessons…He started off the year in the first week of school in terrible habits: slouching, overreacting and sulking….he still sometimes rolls his eyes when he gets a demerit, and he still sometimes sulks if he gets a detention. However, his self-control and his behaviour have improved massively since the start of the year. In his interactions with teachers, guests and staff, he is polite, professional and considerate…He has not shown any violent behaviour since coming to Michaela. On the contrary, he has behaved like a gentleman, studying hard, succeeding in his subjects and enjoying lunchtimes playing basketball…His attendance is sky-high at 100%. He leaves school every day at 4 pm, and has not had to take any days or time off in a behavioural unit…Darnell is on track to achieve fantastic academic results, and his habits of politeness and consideration are improving every day He has achieved a complete turnaround... "
And this is Darnell himself:
"Since I’ve started Michaela the three things I’m most of proud of is my behaviour, attitudes and reactions…I have had lots of talks with MsFacer to help improve my habits. Mr. Smith has helped me improve my attitude of how I see things because I would always look at things negatively – now I try to look at things positively…Now I’m in Michaela if I’m in isolation or detention I try and reflect on next time “what would I do differently next time?” I think I have changed a lot since primary school. I remember one time I had a brilliant week at school and every day I came home my Mum felt so happy. I wanted to see that beuse I don’t like to see my Nan or my Mum crying. I have also changed because I want a good future.”