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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Starting year 13 2016

992 replies

HSMMaCM · 06/09/2016 08:46

Continuing from the year 12 - 13 thread.

Good luck with continuing studies, uni open days, driving tests, etc.

OP posts:
teta · 03/03/2017 18:12

We're still waiting to hear from 3 vet schools.Bristol have sent an e mail to say she's still under consideration post interview but they need more time .Nada from Surrey and Nottingham!Nottingham have said we should hear by mid - March at the latest following an enquiry from someone on the student room.Dd was interviewed for both in November!!but no one knows when Surrey will finish their offers or not .Dd doesn't know what to think but feedback from the Liverpool interview gave food for thought.
Sorry for your dd's rejection Dingit.Its always hard to get your first rejection.Its good your Dd is angry instead of upset though .

MirabelleTree · 03/03/2017 18:14

How are you all holding up with it, anyone need Wine?

We need to do some open days in preparation for the Foundation Art . Course leader wasn't happy when DD said she wasn't entirely sure about doing a degree so she has had to clarify her thoughts on this. She's making a list apparently. Feel this is upside down as we've already had the leaving home bit !

bigTillyMint · 03/03/2017 19:48

Dingit, their loss.

Teta, how nail-biting for your DD.

Mirabelle, A'levels aren't the problem here atm - very nasty friendship issue. But DD is putting on her glad-rags and is off to a party and talking about a gap year and going travelling Smile

JugglingFromHereToThere · 04/03/2017 06:18

Off to Reading! (for our last visit day)

Hope DD likes it!

MirabelleTree · 04/03/2017 11:18

Hope it goes well Juggling. BTM i'm really sorry to hear that, you'd think they'd grow out if it eventually but seeing slme of the posts you read on here I guess some never do.

bigTillyMint · 04/03/2017 11:54

Exactly, Mirabelle!

Hope you're having a good visit in Reading, Juggling.

Horsemad · 04/03/2017 19:13

How was Reading, Juggling? DS went to Liverpool applicant day last week. I left him to it and had a touristy day round the city, was brilliant! Smile

ono40 · 04/03/2017 20:23

I loved Liverpool when we visited last year Horse and was really impressed by the History dept, they know all the students and the lecturer was talking about his research on South America which was fascinating.

Hope Reading went well Juggling.

BTM, sorry to hear about the nasty friendship issues, there's been a bit of that in DS's year with one girl in particular seemingly on a mission to break up all the couples. You'd think us females would stick together!

Mirabelle, surely it's up to your DD not the tutor whether she does a degree (and takes on the loan etc!).

We are off to the Birmingham accommodation day in a couple of weeks. It dawned on me this week that when DS goes and the novelty of a tidy room, full cupboards and no shouting wears off that I will really miss him! Sad

Horsemad · 04/03/2017 20:29

My DS1 is heading home soon as he has not passed all his exams (was doing a repeat year) so just as I thought the nest would be empty later this year, it seems not.

I am a bit sad that my lovely recently decorated 'spare' room will be full of l9 yr old lad and his stuff.

God, back to the drawing board for him...

ErrolTheDragon · 05/03/2017 00:21

Oh heck, that's a shame, Horse. Sad was he doing a subject which wasn't his first choice, or have I got confused with someone else?

HSMMaCM · 05/03/2017 00:28

Oh horse Sad. If it's any consolation, my niece dropped out after a year, worked for a while, then started at a new uni and she's about to finish her masters. It can work out ok.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 05/03/2017 00:59

Yes Errol, he got offered a different subject and took it.

He's not very self disciplined, so hasn't put the work in and is now seeing the consequences of that. It is so frustrating.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 05/03/2017 08:24

Had a great day with DD yesterday at Reading. Especially loved the green campus with everything you could want around a central lawn/ quad. Course looks good, lecturers seemed nice and good at teaching.

Liked it as much as Swansea is the problem!

Both seem great so will be tricky to decide. DD sensibly saying that once she's chosen and as long as she gets in to one or the other she should be happy at either.

Also has various combinations to consider regarding firm and insurance, so could be Reading/ Swansea; Sheffield/ Swansea; Reading/ USW; Swansea/ USW. Only four combinations, maybe we're getting there!

Horsemad it's so good you can be there for him when he needs you. What are his plans for nest steps?

teta · 05/03/2017 08:31

Horsemad Liverpool is a brilliant city to be a student in .So sorry about your Ds1.I think it takes some boys a while to grow up but they willl....,eventually.I have a prototype here!
BTM I would have expected them all to have grown out of this by now as well.But saying that some adults still behave like that too.I hope your dd enjoyed the party.
Mirabelle tell your daughter to ignore that tutor.
Dd passes her Driving theory on Tuesday.This was quite an achievement as she only realised on Sunday that it was this week .Five hours last minute revision worked and she passed .....,luckily.
Anyone got snow this morning?We have heavy rain thats turned to heavy snow.

bigTillyMint · 05/03/2017 09:00

Horse, is he going to resit them? One of my friends when I was at school was back home resitting his 2nd year whilst I sat my A'levels. It all worked out for him. Or maybe he wants to swap courses?
Good that your DS(2?) liked Liverpool - my home-city and my nephew is there now and loving it.

Thanks, Ono.
Birmingham is one of DD's possible firms - do they have separate accommodation days as well as the offer-holder day she went on?

bigTillyMint · 05/03/2017 09:00

And teta, well done to your DD!

Horsemad · 05/03/2017 09:18

Not allowed to fail anything on a repeat year at his uni BTM and he failed one component of one module.

It is sad but he has had two chances at it, so I think we have to accept uni isn't for him at this time.

Needmoresleep · 05/03/2017 09:45

Horsemad, any chance of you getting him to work a ski season. They will be recruiting now for next season. Last year DD thankfully recognised that she was not ready to go to University and wanted a break from anything academic, and accepted my conditions that I wanted her to be doing something purposeful, and ideally away from home. My fear was that she might spend the year in bed.

Its been really tough, and we had at least a couple of calls with her saying she did not think she could do it any longer. These have stopped, and we barely hear from her. She now admits she is really enjoying herself, and will eventually feel very proud of having coped. Lots of Saisonnieres in a small safe French resort, good skiing and some very hard work. The boys in particularly seemed to struggle at the start, even basic things like making beds, but the ones who have lasted have picked up a good range of skills (domestic, employment, organisational and customer facing) which will stand them in good stead. The pay is truly awful, effectively pocket money, so you need to earn tips, and the management is strict (chalet inspections, room inspections, uniform inspections, post mortems over customer feedback) but unlike University you are not paying to work hard and play hard. She has grown up a lot, and is now looking forward to getting back to academic studies.

Her peers are really diverse: gap yearers and reapplicants, some NEETs, some who have finished University and don't know what to do next, some who want to switch career, as well some on work placements from hospitality and catering courses. All of them should gain from working in a team with kids from very different backgrounds, and supporting each other. I loved the way DD described one of her close friends, who will be starting an apprenticeship on his return, as very smart, just not "school clever." After all the emphasis on grades and academic achievement it is an important lesson to have learnt.

Horsemad · 05/03/2017 10:42

I seriously doubt he'd be agreeable to a ski season Needmoresleep but he will not be sitting around doing nothing!

He has been told he will be expected to find work and whilst there is always a room at home for him, that's where our hospitality ends. He will be expected to pitch in and contribute financially and also with household duties.

It is weird, he is not a party animal so hasn't been out every night, he just will not apply himself to his studies. I suspect he wastes time gaming and his PC will not be coming back into the house.

In all other respects he is a good lad, no trouble to us at all. Has never run out of money, fairly self sufficient; he just will not put the work in, gah!

Needmoresleep · 05/03/2017 10:56

Pity, though I will admit I was surprised DD agreed. It will be a huge boost to her confidence to have got through it. Another advantage of the Alps is that wifi is awful so no gaming...

Its tough. He will not be the only one who struggles to make that leap to becoming a confident young adult. Hopefully, despite the knock in confidence, seeing friends move on with their lives will encourage him to move forward. Job first, degree later is not a bad way to do things. As long as he does the "job first". Having a reason to get out of bed each morning is so important.

Good luck.

Horsemad · 05/03/2017 11:20

Thanks. This parenting lark doesn't get any easier!

ErrolTheDragon · 05/03/2017 11:27

Was it comp sci he originally wanted to do? He might be able to find some work in a related area or possibly even some sort of apprenticeship. Something which imposes discipline on him.

Horsemad · 05/03/2017 11:45

Yes Errol, comp sci. Hopefully this will jolt him out of his inertia and he will decide which direction he wants to go in.

namechange7711 · 05/03/2017 11:52

Such a shame about your DS1 Horsemad. I remember your travails when he didn't get the A-level grades he needed. Hope he finds something else to do which he enoys.

DS1 has had a couple of wobbly weeks. Not seriously depressed/suicidal as he has been in the past, but not right either. Not eating, sleeping constantly, irrational, refusing to engage etc (which I think is his body's way of showing he's overwhelmed.) School on the phone because he missed a deadline. Turns out he'd forgotten to take his anti-depressants for a few days.

Next week will be make or break I think. Coming back at midnight tonight from a 3 day residential, then he's straight into a week of mocks and his EPQ presentation. If he can't hold it together next week then I will be seriously doubtful whether university in September will be the right thing to do.

LittleHo · 05/03/2017 12:30

So sorry it didn't work out for your ds1 Horsemad.

Plodding on here but I'm really struggling. Mum is on the point of going into a hospice (terminal cancer) and I'm increasingly having to leave my younger two (doing A Levels and GCSE's) to sort themselves out while I help my Dad.

I really hope they make it through the exams as they are really close to my Mum. Not sure what the options will be if it affects their exam results.

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