What benefit would private education give my DD?

[Dotty342kids]

Hello,

I have two children. Both always been in state education, eldest finishing Yr 8 in good local secondary atm.
DD is just finishing Yr 6 and SATs results confirm what we've always known - that she is very bright and loves learning. (This isn't a stealth boast post - please don't flame me )
She's heading to the same local secondary as her brother, which also has an excellent sixth form. I have no doubts that when she's old enough, she'll want to go to Uni.
DH was asking yesterday if we should consider private education for her, as we suspect she'd thrive in a really academic environment and she's always expressed a desire to go. We do not have the money easily available, she'd have to get some sort of bursary and we'd have to scrimp, save and make sacrifices to cover the rest.
DS has never shown an interest in private school and makes it very clear he'd hate to go!
So my question really, is if your child is in private education - what do you feel it gives them that they wouldn't get if they're academically motivated and in a good state secondary? We couldn't necessarily afford the extra curricular / trips etc that would be on offer at the private school, which I know are one of the obvious things that are different to the state sector.

Looking forward to seeing your responses

And let's hope he continues to do well on his own merit with the support of his well connected friends.

My decorator has a lad working for him and he is signing up to the apprenticeship scheme. The lad is his wife's friend from church.

It happens at all levels. It's called living in the real world.

Assuming that all the other personal attributes and qualifications are equal (which they rarely are) for the career paths in which wealthy professionals and clients play a part, 10 years at certain types of private schools will give more time than just university to meet and build a network of friendships and contacts. That has to be an advantage in that sort of career but IMO it happens a few years into building a career when merit is already in evidence rather than for initially getting the job.

OhTheRoses I saw nepotism working very effectively at high levels in the eighties; I don't need tuition in the 'real world'. But I can tell you for sure it's a double edged sword in today's world, and your gushing about your DS having two 'prestigious names on his CV' isn't showing an especially good grip of it, frankly.

I dont see it as connections, but as aspirations. DC have been friends with kids whose parents run things. Things like law firms, banks, Universities, hospitals, Ministries, major companies, hedge funds and so on. Their friends aspire to similar. Their parents went to top Universities, they aspire to the same. Their parents work hard, and they do as well.

Some of this "the sky's the limit", but to get there you need to put in the work, has rubbed off on DC. I guess people pick up similar at Oxbridge. I don't think there is any expectation that the old school tie will hold sway. But DC will leave school knowing they are as good as others, and there is no harm in aiming high.

Absolutely agree Needmoresleep, though with the caveat that many parents at independents will be nothing like as aspirational or successful as they are at your DCs' school. That said, the idea that having two 'prestigious names' on a DC's CV means nothing at all and can be positively harmful if the DC's school is well known and the DC is aspiring to certain types of (very competitive) job where conspicuous displays of privilege are not now regarded as cool.

I think private education, in general, gives children more confidence and the expectations are higher. Most children are there to work and achieve (as a pose to just grinding it out..). Various families will be making sacrifices for their children to attend with the hope that they will come out with better opportunities in life. School life will be geared towards getting good GCSEs, good Alevels and getting into a good university.

DCs attend a local state primary and half of the teacher's energy goes into crowd control and trying to herd cats through SATS. Its difficult because there is such a wide range of abilities. In a private / independent school (especially all girls) (in my experience) children are better behaved and 90% are there to learn to there is alot more focus on the task and a lot less time on crowd control. Also many of these schools have an exam to get in so the academic spectrum is more narrow.
Its not about being better or feeling better than others its about having all the bits of paper you need to get to the university you want to so you can do the course you want to and the confidence in yourself to get there.
If you are going to spend the money make sure you do heaps of research to find the 'best' school for your child. There are schools where you can take your own pony, with lovely grounds etc but may not give you the academic output you are looking for.

I meant to type that the idea that the idea is misguided but the gist was pretty clear.

OP bleedingnora is spot on about the inequity of what you're proposing.

Also, while some - or even many - indies are superb, too many parents attending others fall for the marketing bumph and then make sweeping generalizations about the state sector to justify in their own minds their hefty investment.

I give up on corrections!

As someone else has pointed out, sending one child to private school and not the other is a recipe for disaster. trust me, I was that child, and my brother hated me for it well into adult life.

Regarding connections and work experience, I think it completely depends on sector, the age of the person and the length of placement.

Some smacks of pointlessness, some looks impressive and definitely helps with employment.

The prestige element (or alternatively something unusual and interesting) can be an element and without doubt contacts help here ( though they don't have to be via school).