being a bridesmaid in the middle of GCSEs - yes or no?

[RoyTucker]

We have been asked if DSD would like to be a bridesmaid at a family wedding on the Sat at the end of the Summer half term next year. She will be in yr 11 so sitting GCSEs. Clearly we don't know the exam timetable yet, I assume she will have already sat a good number of exams before half term but will probably have some afterward too.

Our thinking is that she will have all of half term up to the Friday afternoon to revise, realistically a complete day off from revision on the Sat of the wedding, the Sun am would be a write off too, then she has Sun afternoon to revise and back to school on the Monday. Any thoughts please?

We don't want to wreck her exams, we don't want to say no to a lovely opportunity, we run the risk of her having an exam on the Monday morning and being tired, but this may not be the case at all. What to do?! She is not very academic and finds schoolwork and revision hard going. She would be thrilled and excited to be part of a wedding in this way. She doesn't yet know about any of this.

No. I agree 100% with var123. It's too critical a time and a bit of last minute revision can make all the difference at a grade boundary. Keep her focused on what really matters until the exams are over - then she can let her hair down.

I love the way everyone is presuming the DD would actually use the time to revise.

If I were 15/16 and my parents went off to a wedding, I'd put on the TV and kick back. But maybe that's just me.

roguedad, why is it a critical time? I don't think it's any more critical than earlier in a GCSE course. But that's just me. Last minute revision never worked for me. It just made me stressed.

Doctordoctor

"Re those saying you have to get decent results in the bag or else, I say to young people worried about stuff like this that there are actually remarkably few ways to wreck your life beyond all redemption, and most of those involve doing something that gets you a long prison sentence. We should be teaching kids that there's almost always a way to pick yourself up and learn by experience, not making them shit scared of failure."

Absolutely agree. Think this should be a mumsnet teen board mantra actually.

However, for a 'not very academic' DC, it is still a lot less hassle to get your C for English and Maths first time round, and be able to do your choice of course at 6th form, than to have to retake and possible miss out on your preferred course.

(Though this being mumsnet, maybe 'less academic' means straight As rather than A*s!)

The day before a maths exam my DD really benefits from an intensive run through of all topics, so they are fresh in her mind. Doing this 2 days before just doesn't have the same effect.

OP - you know your DD best. If you think it will work fine, then go for it.

If someone's GCSE success or failure hinges on 1.5 days off from revision then I'd suggest they're doing it wrong

mrs perhaps.

But if that 1.5 days off is just before their maths exam, and they are a borderline pass, and the time off isn't relaxing, but is travelling and partying, then perhaps not. The difference between pass and fail for some is precisely 1 mark.

I'm not sure the best way to achieve that 1 mark is by revising at the last minute.

If I were that worried about my DC's results, I would be making sure I knew what questions they are going to be asked now...I'd be putting in time with a tutor now...not worrying about a day missed revising.

I would, however make sure they had enough sleep/to eat/were happy.

Unhappiness can have quite an effect on the brain.

Which is why I'm pleased my DS is going outside a lot, getting a lot of exercise and endorphins. He's learned his stuff. His teachers have done their bit. DS has done his bit by turning up, and paying attention. I've done my bit by getting a tutor when I thought he could do with a bit of support the school weren't providing. Sitting in his bedroom trying to revise/fretting and attempting to get info into his head isn't going to be productive now.

"I would be making sure I knew what questions they are going to be asked now" How do you do that? isn't it cheating?

Er..no! Obviously not the exact question....I should have said know the syllabus, which can then be applied to the questions asked...looking at past papers to know what questions are likely to be asked Certain types of questions have always come up in certain subjects on certain boards.

I bet the exam papers for 2016 haven't even been written yet.

If she does history that'll be on the Monday morning and English Lang on the Tuesday.

MiniSis, that is what my ds has this year, does that always follow that pattern then?

Yes. I am the most academic person ever, but you need to manage "free time" as much as revision time.

If someone's GCSE success or failure hinges on 1.5 days off from revision then I'd suggest they're doing it wrong

Especially with a whole year to factor in that day at the wedding.

For me it would depend in how far it is, as there will be dress fittings and likely a rehearsal on the Friday night. If it's only an hour away not so bad, but if it's several hours then that's tricky, will you be able to travel back on the Saturday evening or early Sun? Even though she should know everything she needs to know by then, if she's anything like me she may be wanting to check, double check etc right to the last minute.

Travelling is a red herring. Plenty can be done in car/train/hotel , book/iPod/iPad etc. a few hours off won't hurt and may even give a well earned break after the initial flurry.

My pupil has just been a bridesmaid in Cornwall (a 5 hour drive away) and is in the middle of her A level exams. She revised in the car both ways (parents testing her knowledge on subjects) and took books with her to do a short revision session in the evening and morning before the wedding too. Doing this meant she felt she could take a break to enjoy being a bridesmaid but hadn't missed out on too much revision either. Maybe a halfway house for your DDD?

I have had this situation too.

Dd1 was meant to be a bridesmaid this June.The wedding involved several hours travelling - flight and a long 3 day weekend.Its a big wedding and the weekend would be hectic with several social engagements.Given that dd wants all A*s for her future job I asked her what she wanted to do.She said very sensibly no.The rest of us are going but she's staying at home with dh.

GCSE's are crucial - dd is tired and pale and none of her friends are doing anything but work. Though I'm aware that not everyone approaches GCSE's in the same way.

My brother got married right in the middle of my O levels, back in 1981. We had a houseful of relatives staying. It wasn't ideal, but I survived. And this was a weekend not attached to half term. One and a half days off during half term will be fine.

Oh yes, I was a bridesmaid, too.