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Secondary education

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Original poster

my little wickle lovepot was removed from classes for a whole day. he is racist thug.

52 replies

Tortington · 09/11/2006 14:08

i asked why - of course - but only when it 'slipped' out that he wasn't in classes all day.

i hadn't been informed or anything

he says its becuase he was calling his friend ( one of those best friends you go and stay with at weekends then fallout with then are best friends again and on and on ) names

well they must hae been bad names says i

i was racist - says he.

i am not pontificating in pc mumsnet way - just for you becuase your reading this - but seriously i take muchio dim view on bigotted and racist comments.

obviously concerned i phoned school. and said " i hear hezus was taken out of lessons for being racist"

no mrs custardo, he was taken out for punching him in the middle of maths but he was racist.

hezus told me that the lad called him a ................"manchester united fan"

( worthy of a good kicking in my personal view for such an insult)

my son said there then ensued an argument and he was kicked in the balls.

important here to note that hezus did say he has previously made racist comments but they did not form part of this fracas

when i told teacher about kicking in balls incident she said that MR teacher didn't mention the kickin in balls incident.

when told son this - he said bet friend said he would get his mum to ring in becuase hezus was being racist?

i have asked for best friend, his mum and dad to come into school and meet with hezus, myself and MR custardo then no one can lie.

i have doled out punishment for racist comments.

my concerns are that my son did not know why he was taken out of class - he thought it was becuase he was being racist - instead of what it actually sounds like - which is mutual thuggary in middle of class.

i also think school are being overly sensative with regards to race issue and therefore have punished my son and not the other kid.

now my son deserved punishment - i would have loved to be involved int hw whole process actually - give me the ruler - i'll whack his scrawny arse - but on a fair and balanced note
i want other kid to be punished to - and i want everyone EVRYONE concerned - teachers, kid, kids parents - to know that i will not put up with injustice

what do you think?

OP posts:
mumblechum · 11/07/2007 13:02

I have to revive this thread, unfortunately. My ds got into a scrap with a lad on Monday (ds is mixed race, lad called him some racist name).

Unfortunately, ds punched other boy in the chest so hard he has a cracked sternum . Weirdly, other boy didn't tell his parents it was a scrap, and my ds went and put his foot in it by phoning his house last night and leaving a message asking how X is and saying he wants to apologise.

This is not first racist incident, there've been a few kids calling him the n word etc and usually ds just ignores it or threatens them.

Anyway, what I'm worried about now is will the parents report it to the police? Friend of ds's got into similar trouble at another school and ended up being arrested and cautioned.

School say ds will have 2 hour detention, and they'll get the boys together when this other lad gets back into school (must be f. painful, cracked sternum).

What do you think? Should ds be crapping himself in fear of police as well as feeling v.v. contrite about punching that hard?

fishie · 11/07/2007 13:13

oh dear. but very nice (and quite brave) of your son to ring. does the school know about the racist comments? nothing very helpful to add except a bump for you.

mumblechum · 11/07/2007 13:15

They know about this week's one, and have tried to email head of year to tell her of previous incidents, but her spam guard keeps bouncing it back. I'll just have to remember to mention it when she touches base with me again, hopefully tomorrow night.

fishie · 11/07/2007 13:25

i have absolutely no experience here, (ds is 2!) but i think it is pretty crucial to get the provocation properly recorded by the school. perhaps you shoudl also talk to them (formally? meeting with head of year?) about what their plans are for the other children who are using racist abuse.

Original poster
Tortington · 11/07/2007 18:13

how old is he mumblechum?

OP posts:
mumblechum · 11/07/2007 18:38
  1. Have jsut had a phone call from head of year who says he'll have to go and see headmaster this week. Until they've spoken to the other lad (won't be in till friday at earliest), they can't decide on punishment, but she said potentially he will be suspended.

Shit.

aloha · 11/07/2007 18:40

And Gordon Brown wants to raise the school leaving age to 18

mumblechum · 11/07/2007 18:41

Um, huh?

aloha · 11/07/2007 18:43

This reply has been deleted

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aloha · 11/07/2007 18:44

18 just means more and more disputes from kids who don't want to be at school at all.

meandmyflyingmachine · 11/07/2007 18:46

While I would be very about the racist comment, if my ds was punched hard enough to break his sternum I suspect I would want the book thrown at the assailant.

meandmyflyingmachine · 11/07/2007 18:49

Sorry - I mean that if I were the other parent I would probably expect him to be suspended. A two hour detention would not seem to be enough.

Sorry.

mumblechum · 11/07/2007 18:50

yes, I agree that he has to be punished, no doubt about that.

What I'm asking, though, is does anyone have experience of the police becoming involved in playground fights?

aloha · 11/07/2007 18:54

You know if my kids were calling other kids niggers, I'd think a cracked sternum was a good lesson learned thb.

meandmyflyingmachine · 11/07/2007 18:56

Ah. Again,you're not going to like my answer...

At a previous school we did have the police involved on a number of occasions. Once they were called by the school, but that was because it was a parent who was caught fighting with a child (not their own,if that makes it any better ) and a couple of times when a child was injured in a fight with another child, and the parents of the injured child made a complaint. I don't think they were ever taken very far though.

But if this happened on Monday, is it likely that the other parents have been to the police? Srely they would have done so by now.

meandmyflyingmachine · 11/07/2007 18:58

Well, I disagree with you Aloha.

I would expect an equally severe penalty for the racist abuse though .

mumblechum · 11/07/2007 19:53

The school only told the parents today, so I guess it could be a while before we know whether the police are involved.

He's been well and truly told off by us and will be punished by the school.

I'm not making any excuses, and personally don't think racist provocation is any worse than any othr provocation.

He needs to learn to control his temper before he gets into even more trouble.

Original poster
Tortington · 11/07/2007 22:49

i am totally not as blaze as i sound when i say that its nearly the end of year so suspentin not so bad.

a caution ata police station mayserve to stun himto think twice.

OP posts:
Heated · 11/07/2007 23:07

If you fully support the school's decisions re their disciplinary route you'll send out a consistent message to your own DennistheMenace, but also the school may be more positive about having him there. Schools have gone for fixed term exclusions for less. It's unlikely the school will involve the police directly but may well have advised the other parents that they can complain to the police and given it's a broken sternum...what would you do?

Re the racist incident, schools can only act on witnessed events, such as the fight. Previous events that the other miscreant may have started, will not bear heavily, as it will be seen that your son has escalated the confrontation, and presumably the other lad would have been punished if it was witnessed. It's hard to impose a punishment on a incident that happened last week, particularly if it's a case of his word against another. I don't hold out much hope that you'll get the outcome you want, although the school will know to keep a watchful eye, particularly if the other child is involved in any more incidents.

Piffle · 11/07/2007 23:21

my ds was felled at school nad had his left uppe arm bone snapped in two and on another occasion his nose broken from a pucnh to the face

on one occasion the school used police (nose) and on another I called them (the arm incident)

Neither lad was suspended or charged ho hum

I'm sorry but even if racism was a motivator it is no defence against physical assault. Only ever in self defence against physcial attack IMO although I know if it was my child...

NorbertStanleyFletcher · 11/07/2007 23:29

My son was assaulted by 2 others on his way out of school, knocked out and kicked on the floor. No broken bones, but concussion. The other boys were excluded but not charged by the police. Another boy was attacked and the police were involved (my DS1 was a witness), and I don't think that went any further than a caution.

Also - these boys were older (14-15+)

Just my experience, don't know if it helps

Piffle · 11/07/2007 23:34

my ds was 12 if that is any help...

mumblechum · 12/07/2007 10:01

God, Piffle that's awful.

If the situation were the other way round, I would be baying for blood, no way round it.

mumblechum · 12/07/2007 13:38

Head of Year just phoned. Both ds and other lad hauled in front of head today. Both punished (ds obviously more severely as has been violent), but all resolved, thank God.

ds has two days internal suspension today and tomorrow so misses a performance in which he was supposed to be drumming, has no contact with any other kids and has separate lunch and break times.

I think he's been really lucky this time, partly because of provocation and partly because he's usually a good lad.

Has shaken hands with other lad and apologised. If he misbehaves again he will be excluded and the police will be called.

I think the school has handled it well and am grateful to other lad & his parents for not going to police.

God, feel like I need a G&T now.

MarsLady · 12/07/2007 13:49

I think the school handled it well... but I'm most impressed with your DS actually! The fact that he was big enough to phone and apologise and enquire after his provockers well being... good lad! Of course physical violence is no answer... but at that age with raging hormones perhaps that comment was the straw that broke the camel's back.

On a completely lighter note... thanks for bumping this thread. I can just see Custy and her wickle lovepot the knobhead now!

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