My PFB is starting secondary school in September

[redskybynight]

As title says. PFB is going to secondary school in September. As transitions go,it "should" be straightforward - the school is 15 minutes walk away, half of the intake will be from his current primary and he already knows quite a few older children from scouts and a sports club he goes to, as well as plenty of children that used to go to his current school.

But of course I am still worrying :) What do you wish you/your DC had known before they started secondary? Is there anything I/he should be doing?

Something happens to girls in Years 7 & 8. They are often not very nice to each other at all. Lots of drama and switching of friendship groups as the alpha girls experiment with their ability to manipulate. The school can't do too much, other than clamp down on unaccepable behaviour and ideally rearrange classes comprehensively in Yr 9. Keep communicating with your daughter, perhaps by finding a time to be together. DD and I used to go out for a pizza on Fridays, which she used as an opportunity to download. I found it useful to read through her social media and discuss how silly some of the playground-type boasting sounded when written down. (Actually worth negotiating that all social media is accessible to you until the age of 13 - some stuff can be nasty.)

They calm down in Yr 9, plus options and setting kick in, so it gets better. And schools are used to it, so hopefully have a sensible and experienced head of year.

That even with a straightforward, outgoing child, and a not too vast or scary school, it will take until after Christmas for them to feel 'settled in'.

Thanks Camel!

@Wizzler: it's social death to have anything but a touchscreen Phone. You can get basic ones for £30-£40 so no really good reason not to.

I know it's true to write "It will all be fine" for most kids, but DS is not most kids (sigh). Some parents really do have valid reasons to be braced for a rough ride, at least occasionally if not most of secondary.

I know 2 stories at different schools of recent yr11s breaking arms of yr7s. I don't in the slightest expect that to happen to my yr7, but can't pretend it didn't happen.

Brollies ok, even everybody seems to wear coats in winter in our school!! (but they do have lockers). Encourage child to go to lunch clubs if they feel lonely, there are tons at our school. Most kids have touchscreen phones (sorry!)

Still no sign that DS who is slightly dyspraxic will be able to tie laces by September and year 7. Apart from loads of practice any advice? Velcro is a no I assume. Trainers we have lock laces. For something so simple that I got taught at nursery school, it's a right pain! It just didn't matter a year ago when his feet were smaller and Velcro shoes still the norm.

Ooh, just place marking as another one with a (disorganised, not-very-cool, prone to tears) PFB who can't possibly be ready for secondary school! We gave him his own set of keys the day before yesterday and he is SOOOOO proud of them - it's making me a little sniffy!

Be prepared for a very tired child.
Add 90 mins per day onto an average primary school day.

All of the school shoes for older boys (up to size 7) at www.jonesthebootmaker.com are Velcro; loads at www.charlesclinkard.co.uk and Next too - people must be buying them. Better to have a Year 7 ready to run off to lunch/class with the other boys than stuck on his own fiddling with laces.

www.jonesbootmaker.com

My DSs had/will have Velcro, not a problem.
DS1 didn't learn to tie laces until he was 14 (sigh). We used lock laces for PE shoes once he got past size 3/4.

Thanks re velcro shoes

school will have liaised with the primary. They are also likely to have got the low down on you - how supportive you are; if they need to be aware of an acrimonious split; if you drop your kids off late; if you take term time holidays etc. You are not a totally unknown entity, normally

That has got me worried. DS's experience at primary has not been good and I fear they might have labelled me one of Those Parents in my attempts to make things better for him and the other pupils. Was hoping for a fresh start at secondary school where I hope never to have to darken their doorstep!

Well I have already benefitted from liaison with primary that must have gone 'Lonecat's Ex\ the kitten's dad is a disorganised twat who has the ability to f**k just about anything he is involved in up'. There is a school trip with in 4 weeks of the start of secondary (overnight team building thing) which he said he would said the permission slip and cheque in for. DD returned from last contact in tears saying he hasn't done it and I've missed the date and won't get to go. I emailed the HOY who has added her to the list as long as he gets the cheque in this week when I explained.
Probably due the fact that her Dad has the organizational skills of a goldfish DD is super organized and spent an hour on Sunday packing her pencil case, geometry set and calculator into her new school bag. We still have a month to go.

Can I join too? Year 7 in September. We've bought some of the school uniform ...

needmoresleep Dd confessed that one of the only two girls she is going to Secondary with has apparently said to another friend (going to a different school) that she doesn't like her much ...she got a phone call from another girl today I have said the best thing is that she is polite and friendly to everyone and that she ignore the 'do you like so and so conversations'. I envisaged this happening so on the school journey she is buddying up with my close friend's DS. I find it all really annoying can't wait for more of it to come

Reading this I'm so pleased that ds is attending a week's summer school at the secondary he's starting at in September. The school is running it specifically for children going into year 7.

He's the only child from his school going to this particular, very big, comprehensive and the intake is very different to his primary (we live in a very poor inner city area which is 80% non white - his primary school reflected it. His secondary is in a leafy suburb).

He's made some friends and is starting to find his way around. They're also going to take them on a trip out.

Such a great thing for the school to do. The summer school cost £20 a day but was free to kids on fsm which makes it pretty accessible I think.

Name all of his clothes. Tell him anything that gets lost will be paid for out of his own pocket money - this will incentivise him to keep a close eye on his things and to check he has everything before leaving the classroom / bus / changing room. As a secondary teacher, I am flabbergasted by the lack of care the students take with their things, (but at least I get plenty of exercise running after them through the corridors with their coats / calculators / iPhones (yes, really!)

The worst culprits are the boys who are in such a rush to change into football boots at breaktime that they leave their school shoes absolutely anywhere...then tell their parents they were "stolen". Luckily, parents are too wise to fall for that one!

Smelly, you may be lucky to avoid it. If she were going with a bit group from primary you might find that they have a big bust up in the first term. In contrast DD made a new BBF on her first day, and had the bust up in the second term. I am so glad we are beyond that.

Our experience was that there were Primary School briefings. One girl was giving DD a dreadful time in Yr 7, so bad that a couple of other girls reported it to the Head of Year. DD was a firm advocate of the "no snitch" rule so despite being asked directly by the HOY, refused to say anything. Finally HOY effectively told her that they knew the girl had "previous" and so DD would be believed. I think DD stayed silent but it was useful to know when something happened a month or so later that clearly transgressed bullying policy and required intervention. (And this was state primary to private secondary.)