My PFB is starting secondary school in September

[redskybynight]

As title says. PFB is going to secondary school in September. As transitions go,it "should" be straightforward - the school is 15 minutes walk away, half of the intake will be from his current primary and he already knows quite a few older children from scouts and a sports club he goes to, as well as plenty of children that used to go to his current school.

But of course I am still worrying :) What do you wish you/your DC had known before they started secondary? Is there anything I/he should be doing?

Don't bother buying a nice warm coat for the winter - your DS will probably be too cool to be cold until around around Y10 when he'll have had enough of being unnecessarily cold.

The vast majority of pupils seem to enjoy the change from primary school - different subjects, moving round, being treated in a more grown up way, meeting new people.

I second the advice about it being very tiring.

I sometimes wish we had the Two Tier system here, I always feel a bit like the odd one out.
No High School til Year 8 in these parts, so children are a year older than everywhere else. SATS were something done in the middle year at Middle school so were a distant memory by start of High School.

It's not a bad system but not what I am used to.

It would have been social death forever at DD's secondary to have turned up at the school gate on day 1 with a parent hanging around! You would never live it down. You must not meet t hem after school at the gates either.
Also no Velcro on shoes

Camel thanks for your list - really comprehensive!

I was going to pick up on the same point that snice made - I'd assumed that going anywhere nearer the school gate than - er - our house was a complete no-no!

DS's school to be has a first day that is just Year 7 and Year 12 - I'm am figuring this will be a nice easy settling in for him.

paddy two of mine went to grammar schools where there were very few people who already knew each other - they were absolutely fine, everyone is in the same boat. The other two went to a school where loads of people did already know each other, but mine didn't know anyone! They were also fine, people are nosy and want to know who you are :)

We have online booking for parents evening in 2 of the 3 schools. At one, you can book everything you want in one go, which always makes me feel a little bit guilty for people who can't get online at that precise moment! At the other, you can only book up to 5 or 6 teachers in the first few days, and then after everyone has had a chance to sort out their essential appts, you can book more, which seems like a really sensible way of doing it.

Buy the calculator suggested by your child's school.
Check whether the school has lockers. DS's doesn't which came as a huge surprise. If your child's school doesn't, them you will need to give serious thought as to how they can transport PE Kit and/or cookery ingredients, together with their normal school stuff.
Check the school's policy on mobile phones, it varies from school to school.

Brilliant list, thank you *camel if that's your real name

Thanks for the tips.

Some good tips on here. My PFB goes to secondary in September...and he is a 31st August PFB.. he will be the youngest in the entire school... which he is quite proud of but makes me very jittery... good point from the poster who said not to show my anxieties!

Lots of posters have alluded to kids having mobile phones... my DS's school say this is forbidden.. but I guess most of the little darlings have one anyway ... for those of you with Y7 DC... do you buy them a £10 PAYG phone... or is that so uncool they would be better without any at all?

My y7 dd doesn't bother taking a phone to school as she isn't allowed to use it at school at all. She has an iPod to listen to music on the bus. Those who do take phones have the full range, from old basic phones to iPhone 5's.

How is everyone getting on? Mumsnet is great here are the tips I have picked up from this thread and others

See what other kids are wearing Re: School bags shoes etc - pleased to note that backpacks are ok ( Catchment this year spread to 14 miles ) so we have bought this one from Surfdome DD loves design - it goes nicely with her Burgunday blazer and is a semi cool surfy snowboarding brand.
Acquired the Really useful box with hanging files and some recycled ( but as new ) plastic folders from work to get ourselves sorted.
Sorted scientific calculator - school did not specify a brand but after my nephew told me he was mortified getting his Whsmith one out - just going with casio
Labelled evrything with easytoname
Got a Parka in Pocket extra small to shove in school bag - I do not expect her to want to wear a proper waterproof - here is hoping for a Winter coat when it gets really cold but I don't hold out much hope
I have used a nice festival lanyard to attach her key to schoolbag
Need to sort out tubs /boxes etc for HE ( or whatever they call it nowadays)

Oh and I'm doing the lost property fund - I read it on here - £20 fund to replace lost property DD gets to keep anything left over at end of year. SHe has a train journey so will have to have a season ticket - am terrified she will lose that though...

Lockers are not always best option as, depending on location, there's often not time to go to and from. DS and friends have managed fine without one - they have good quality, medium sized back packs.

DS (finishing y6) had a fearful wobble yesterday morning about not knowing people, not making friends. This is going to be a huge issue whichever school he goes to (mummy wobble).

Ohhh thanks that is a great idea camelhump

yeoldtrout it is a worry isn't it ? I keep on talking to DD about how to have conversations with people, be friendly , go o groups etc etc. I think the transition day helped a bit and feeling confident in Teachers and the surroundings they are in helped ME a bit .

Fingers crossed they'll be ok

CamelHump, I think I may need to shrink you and pop you in my pocket to carry around at the start of next term as you are wonderfully wise and practical and helpful and I feel all calm having read your posts

And I've just ordered a lanyard for the key, and a retractable thingy for the oyster card. Thank you MN x

Just to reiterate some of Camel's excellent points (I think we do a similar job.):

Students who don't know anyone from Primary rarely struggle to make friends, they are often "objects of curiosity", but in a nice way.

Older students are generally very kind to Year 7s, I work in a tough school and have seen even the lairiest Year 11 boys stop to help lost/confused little ones. They get lots of cred for this, especially from Year 11 girls

The most common Year 7 worry seems to be getting lost, this rarely happens as they are usually guided around for at least a fortnight. If it does, everyone will be understanding.

Don't underestimate the Week 4 Slump. It's definitely a "thing". Plan for lots of downtime. It's just tiredness in 90% of cases, not an indication that something is wrong

Be as breezy and matter of fact about everything as you can bear. They're more resilient than you think.

oh dear we have camping and a wedding planned for two weekends in September !!

Thanks for the reassurance Lizzie

I was thinking about a brolly as they don't seem to wear a coat of any sort with a blazer. Is a brolly cool?

They are also likely to have got the low down on you - how supportive you are; if they need to be aware of an acrimonious split; if you drop your kids off late; if you take term time holidays etc. You are not a totally unknown entity, normally.

Is this actually a thing? Seriously, the primary school do what, put it in writing? "Sam's mum is a bit over-anxious"; "parents very disorganised"; "dad is very confrontational", that kind of thing?

Wow. Would there not be a risk that parents could demand to see their child's records and encounter this information?