Elevenplus vs Eton

[Danimirj]

Hello my name is Jana, we have one son in second term of Y5 at CofE Primary School in windswept Lincolnshire.

He is not happy there. He is an unusual, intelligent child. He is alert but shy, and small for his age.

We have a Plan A [Eleven plus] and Plan B [move county] for our os, but as thread title says their may be Plan C

I will hand over to my husband who can express himself more easier than I can

Hello, I'm an the other half of the above^^

Our son can speak and write two different languages, English and Serbian, can tell you how a nuclear reactor works, and how it differs from a nuclear bomb, can tell you the difference between a petrol engine and jet engine, and the difference between a hybrid car and an electric car.

He will be ten in at the end of this month. (Feb '15)

About twelve months ago, in desperation, we contacted a number of private school about our son's future.

The one we expected to hear the least from, has been the most welcoming and approachable of all: Eton College.

Since May '14 we have been in contact with a warm but businesslike lady called Francesca, the Access Adviser at that school. We were invited to visit the school in November 2014. We were very impressed with the interest they took in us and our son. Our son came away feeling much more confident about himself, but

However, the range of potential options they can offer seems bewildering to us.

As parents we have zero experience of private education, much less boarding private education.

We would prefer os were happy, popular and settled rather than academically pressurized, but he is just coasting at the moment.

Your thought opinions and personal experiences would be most helpful, if you are willing to share them.

Your son sounds great fun - and actually not that unusual amongst the boys already there or preparing to join the school.

You say the range of potential options they can offer seems bewildering to us. Do you have any specific questions people might be able to address?

I suppose the most important question at this stage is whether your son feels enthusiastic about boarding. That really is a big thing. Plenty of stupendously clever children with lots to offer might just not suit a boarding environment. For those who do suit it boarding can be an amazing opportunity - even more so at this particular school.

Does he get on well with other boys?

Is he happy away from you?

Is he (or is he becoming) well organised and independent?

Is he naturally quite competitive - and able to bounce back when things don't go according to plan?

If he himself really, really wants to go the rest should all fall into place - assuming he passes the pre-test!

1 Does he get on well with other boys?

generally speaking, yes - but the ones at his current PS - no. He dislikes teams sports intensely [something my dh shares, but tried very hard not to spread to him - has not worked]

2 Is he happy away from you?

depends on circumstances - he's not clingy if that's what you mean, its not that holds any fears for him (see 1 for what does.)

3 Is he (or is he becoming) well organised and independent?

definitely, yes

4 Is he naturally quite competitive

trying to prove himself is not something he fears, at least not intellectually

5 What options have Eton offered?

the main thing they have offered is this New Foundation Scholarships which seems an odd way of going about things. Why uproot him from secondary school when he is trying to settle?

All other options would bankrupt us - our joint earnings

My son is in his third year (one of his friends is a Serbian boy!). If Eton are interested in your son, then they must feel he will fit in quite well. Do not be afraid of looking more closely at this opportunity. I understand that it does seem very big and scary at first!

I agree that the biggest factor about Eton will be the full-boarding, it really is full, although some Boys do go home on Sunday's if they live near enough.

In spite of the image of Eton boys all being a 'type' and very confident, there really are many different types of boy there.

Even though it is such a huge school, the pastoral care is excellent, and everything is broken down into small units, which are easier for boys to manage. He will be in a house of about 50 boys, with a housemaster and dame to keep any eye on him. He will also be put in a small tutor group, with a personal tutor to look at some extra curricular activities.

He will be encouraged to try lots of new things, but he will not be forced to do anything he wants to.

Your son does sound also like a good fit for Winchester, so do approach them, if you haven't already. Eton are very proactive in widening access, and have a well-funded project underway.

I would say that the enormous advantages throughout his life of going to Eton would outweigh having to settle again into a new school at 13. Children mostly adapt, although you know your son better than anyone. If this was my son, I'd give him the opportunity. Its an opportunity of a lifetime for someone whose parents earn £23,000.

the main thing they have offered is this New Foundation Scholarships which seems an odd way of going about things. Why uproot him from secondary school when he is trying to settle?

The problem is that Eton starts at 13 and state secondaries start at 11.

We think Eton is a mirage on the horizon, really.

But we do do not want to ungratefully reject their kind help and interest.

We are under no illusions - we will not choose a school for our boy, school will choose him

most likely outcomes

11 plus pass - go here KEVIGS, Louth

11 plus fail - go here hopefully Humberston Academy over border in next non-selective county

DH niece went there and was very happy.

Hmm... You've lost me slightly. The NF Scholarship is taken by boys at STATE schools. (It doesn't generally involve any uprooting ...) What sort of school is your son at?

Re your bankruptcy reference - are you saying that the only alternative to the NF scholarship is to move your son to a prep school for three years?

I wouldn't panic just yet. As you've already had interest from E it's entirely possible that if you wanted you could find a prep school that would offer sufficient bursary to enable him to attend and prepare for CE or the KS.

It sounds as if they have given you the details and will leave it to you to make your choice?

Please say if I've misunderstood.

Taking into consideration your joint household income which probably wouldn't even pay for a term at Eton after statutory deductions, what were you expecting from Eton when you applied there?

There was a children's programme last year about the New Foundation Scholars. Link is here.

Hello - last 2 replies came from my DW - I think we might have to get separate log-ins, haha

hello IndridCold, was expecting your input - your reputation proceeds you

Good luck to your son in D-block [ I think?], hope he does well in his GCSEs.

We would have rejected Eton's approaches already had we not a great deal of confidence in how they might care for him if he went there.

Nice to know there is a boy from Former Yugoslavia there already!

Outwardly our little one seems English through and through, despite his BiH heritage

Even if he does pass the computerized test in June we are unsure what the next step would be.

Distance from our home to there would be 170miles, so full board and large bursary would be inevitable - even with my parents helping out financially it would be tricky. [They are divided over whether it is an insane idea, or not]

My job is likely to disappear circa 2018-20, which is yet another fly in the ointment, alas

It might be useful for you to read some of the many, many threads here on the same subject.

Try this one www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/2142713-13-boarding-SOS as a start. (Obviously start from the beginning of the thread!) It mentions several other schools and compares their pros and cons.

And - can you say in which areas you think either your Plan A or Plan B schools might be a better choice for your son?

MuddlerInLaw, the NF scholarships are not based on CE. The boys sit an aptitude test and then exams based on the National Curriculum. All at 13.

So no pre-test - and boys who sit for the NF scholarships are not allowed to sit for the KS as well. At least that's my understanding.

Whoops, maybe I'm wrong.

Hmm... You've lost me slightly. The NF Scholarship is taken by boys at STATE schools.

DS is at state CofE primary. DS has never been at any other kind of school.

Taking into consideration your joint household income which probably wouldn't even pay for a term at Eton after statutory deductions, what were you expecting from Eton when you applied there?

I was lead to believe a scholarship was offered at 10 by Eton. Found this was not the case.

Subject changed abruptly when I mentioned this. Only frosty moment thus far

IndridCold

link is to paralympics episode. Seen the Eton episode, but thank you

Dani I suspect you have not yet quite got the measure of the school. You need to have read and re-read all the literature on the website and in hard copy until you know it by heart.

To say you live 170 miles away is (forgive me) a little silly. E is a global brand. Boys come from homes across the world. All board. Probably more than half are bilingual.

As regards your finances your situation is not unusual in their terms. If they want your son they will make it possible for him to go. (Surely you have already read and heard that where necessary boys are awarded bursaries of more than 100% - to cover travel, uniforms and anything else they need.)

I think you are feeling despondent because you haven't yet done quite enough homework. But any boy who goes there will undoubtably be in possession of very determined and optimistic parents. Are you those parents?

Ah - you were going on out of date information! As I said - do your homework.

Hello OP!

If your son takes the Eton assessment at 11, and is offered a place, you would then have to apply for a full bursary. Your son will then have to sit the Common Entance exam at 13 to confirm his place, and you will really need to find a Prep school for him. These schools go up to age 13, and will 'prepare' him for the exam, the costs of the two years he will need there may well be included in your bursary.

For the NEw Foundation Scholarship, he will start at his secondary at 11, and will then come to Eton for 2 or 3 days to take the test for that at 13. I think they take place in the November before your son would start. If he is awarded one of these scholarships, then everything will be paid for as well.

Danimirj if you can move I would consider either a very selective (superselective) school whether that be grammar or private with full bursary. He will then be with more DCs like him. Personally I would pursue both options of Eton and appropriate superselective grammar at this stage to keep his and your options open. If Eton and the advantages of boarding life with amazing co- curricular activities and societies are right and appeal very much to him that will become apparent in the couple of years or so when he has the pretest and you get assessed for a bursary. Don't worry about the steps after the pretest, other similar boys have trod that path.

Ah - before the NF scholarships they used to offer to pay for a prep school from 10, that's what you're thinking of.

But either way, your DS would have had to change schools twice, and with the old scheme you'd have been effectively committed earlier. You don't enter for the NF until year 8, so if he settles so well in secondary school that you don't want to move him at that point, you just don't enter him when it comes to it.

Definitely watch the documentary linked above - it's what convinced my DS he definitely wanted to go. Don't be surprised that some of the families look pretty well off though - guess it just shows the NF is open to anyone who can't afford £35kpa and has a son at state school, and that's a lot of people!

Indrid I thought there was an appropriate state school entrance (not CE) for those who remained in the state sector even without getting the Foundation scholarships?

the costs of the two years he will need there may well be included in your bursary.

Indrid I think the OP was relying on this possibility (taken from a now defunct scholarship) but I don't understand it to be the usual route now - since, obviously, a child not already at a prep has the option of the NF Schol.

Dani If you decide to investigate prep school possibilities I am sure E will be happy to guide you in the right direction. Believe me - prep schools want boys who are likely to successfully proceed there. There are, admittedly only a few with the funds to offer really helpful bursaries - but it is far from impossible.

Not so far as I know summerends (although I have to admit that even I'm getting confused now!). As I understand it, if you do the assessment at 11, you have to take CE. The NFS is only open to boys from the state sector.

Danimirj it may be that you will not have to choose between 11+ and Eton. Perhaps you should take 11+, and (depending on how he does) choose the school you feel is right for you son, then you can decide in a year to two if you want to give Eton a try, depending on how happy and settled you all are by then.

grovel Only just seen your post. I wasn't intending to imply that the NF was based on CE. (I must try to write more clearly!) I was trying to suggest the alternative route to taking the NF.

(This must seem quite horrifically confusing to anyone who hasn't been through any of it.)

.... horrifically confusing to anyone reading who hasn't been through it.