Yr8- worth changing to private?

[TheDogsMissingBollock]

Currently in outstanding state, v happy there but her results not great, no support for her moderate SN and she is not really trying/being pushed. She's had a lot of change and ideally we wouldn't be looking to move her.
However, she's a real challenge and clashes esp with me on the sch run which i have to drive (out of catchment, no public transport there). She has got quite aggressive, is rude, challenges every single one of my instructions. Every day, all the time. Dd2 gets v v upset with "all the shouting". We're all exhausted from the daily battles. Dh thinks it's my mothering style... Dd1 often fails to do hmk or does very last minute on scrappy bits of paper and refuses to do any sport/extracurricular stuff. We have withdrawn privileges (phone, technology) when her behaviour's been particularly bad.

Am wondering about moving dd1 to a local private sch with a rep for being good with moderate learning difficulty, small class sizes, a longer school day which includes getting hmk and sport done and a school bus (which would transform my life and enable me to work again).
We can afford it, just wondering whether yet more change would outweigh any advantages.

I think you need a bit of a break too. Sometimes "the support" needs some support! It sounds like more structure and smaller classes could be very helpful. I think you just need to take a very hard look and make sure the alternative is everything it seems to be.

Yes, more support wd be lovely. And will scrutinise the offer, as it were. Easy to fall for glossy brochures and fancy premises.

I have one in a strict non selective private school - he has a longer day, compulsory extra curricular, lots of sport. He gets the train to and from school, at the moment I drop off and pick up from station, but that will change when it's get lighter and he gets bigger. For us it is about giving him some independence, he has future TROUBLE written all over him. At least this way I make sure he gets some educational foundation.

Moid1- makes sense completely.

Also feel need to secure that educational foundation.

Go see some schools. (Not just one.) Get an idea of what you might be buying. Quizz them on their experience of, and success with, children with the same moderate SN. You'll know immediately if it's a waste of time.

FWIW boarding schools are packed with homebodies - and they all have pets at home. Weekly boarders are obviously home every weekend but termly boarders are probably at home at least every three weeks or so - and can see their families as often as the families care to pop down for tea or a match or concert or whatever. And they have masses of fun. And a month's holiday at Christmas and Easter. Two months in summer. Not sure exactly what it was that you said - but I have a real feeling it might suit your DD. (Voice of experience ...)

Yes we're doing that. Not so many nonselectives around. But a couple of them absolute nos anyway due to rep/results etc.