Criticism Over Helping DS With Homework...Views Please

[GirlInASwirl]

Parent's evening is coming up and I have to have an uncomfortable conversation with my DS's (Y7) Design Tech. teacher (new to me). Wondering the best way to go about it...

My DS is very bright and is easily clear of academic targets set in all other subjects. I am teacher-qualified and support when needed with homework (as I believe DS has problems with his working memory, concentration, processing of information and organizing longer tasks). I try to minimise my input where I can see he is 'on a roll'.

His tech. grade was two sub-levels below the Y7 minimum target. Assessment was based on a 'Sock Monkey' project over a number of weeks. During this time he came home with very little work to show after each session, little idea of what he had to do/purpose, poor quality samples and so forth. He struggled to talk about what he had learnt in class. I was asking questions about how much attention he was getting and if others were as far behind. There was no feedback from the teacher saying he was struggling.

Half term came and the kids were tasked with finishing their monkeys and also a booklet about the design process. He had so much work to do, but got on with it solidly for the whole week. I also gave him mini inputs along the way; but nothing extraordinary.

Because there was some input from me - his finished product was better than most of his class mates. The teacher sent home a verbal message (via DS - not directly to me) 'Thank you for helping - but your son has to do projects himself'. I sent in a note explaining exactly what I had done and what he had. I would estimate 6-7 eighths was him.

I anticipated that the finished product would have got a level 6. Instead; it got a 4b. I am not sure whether the teacher has marked him down for having support.

This was then followed up by the same teacher going into another class and saying that there was no need for most of the class to see her on parent's evening if they got o.k. marks but (J....) and (my son's name) would have to make an appointment for underachieving'. My son was humiliated.

So what would you say at Parent's evening if this was your DC?

Not at all. You'd be amazed at how many teachers have a very dodgy grasp of dyspraxia. You'd be amazed at how many of them 'don't believe in it' too. And if the poster does teach in a school, rather than being a teacher at home or a former teacher or a different sort of teacher (because, how do I know? I know you're not an explorer and you know I'm not a rabbit but other than that....) then it's worth pointing out because, most emphatically, being able to play an instrument to a high level is NOT a surefire sign that a child isn't dyspraxic yet DD1 and DD2 have both been told, at different times and by different teachers, that they are 'surprised' they are having music lessons because they are on the SEN register for dyspraxia and surely they can't 'really' be dyspraxic if they can play. There is so much wrong 'information' about dyspraxia out there that it's really important to counter it every time you encounter it.

Honestly OP I would not worry about this at all. As children go through secondary their skills and talents start to come through, as do those subjects they are not do good at. It helps them decide what to go forward with to GCSE and what to drop.
My DS hates art, is not good at it and as a result finds it hard to be motivated. I don't help him, if he is struggling I advise him to be honest with his teacher and seek help there. I've told him it's important to put in his best effort and that's all he can do. He'll be dropping it as soon as he is able and I opted not to make an appt with the teacher on parents evening.

Thanks. I know DS is not dyspraxic because, well, he's not dyspraxic. A bit like him having many ASD traits when stressed, but investigations having shown that he's NT but has at times been very anxious, dyspraxia was suggested and ruled out after investigations. I was trying to give 'laymen's examples' of his non-syspraxic traits (despite his total lack of DT and art ability perhaps indcating some dyspraxic traits), and have thus in a way further muddied the waters. Apologies.

I am a teacher, btw. Have not always been a teacher - was a home educator before I was a teacher, and had 2 previous careers before that - but am presently a teacher.

To make it clear - I would not suggest a diagnosis of dyspraxia to anyone, or rule one out, on ability to play an instrument alone. However, for DS, a whole raft of things, including his ability to play football to an extremely high level and play 2 instruments well, as well as his specific responses to other tests, rule out dyspraxuia as an 'underlying reason' for his low ability in DT.

I agree about the instrument as Ds1 can play violin to Grade 4 level (although he should be higher at his age) and can write perfectly well and walk in a straight line without bumping into things AND has an excellent sense of direction. But still shows major deficits which led him to be diagnosed with DCD (dyspraxia)

I think teachers of D & T and Art get very resentful of parents that think these subjects are not important and don't need any effort; this sometimes means they are more short tempered with those pupils they regard as the high achievers in other subjects. When I explained ds1's lack of ability (and historic lack of ability - like not managing D & T at primary either not being able to colour in a simple picture etc) they were much more forgiving and looked at his effort not the offending work itself.

Girl:

I think Swan has the right approach - raise that your son has organisational issues and needs to work within a structure, possibly in small bursts.

However, I suspect part of this mark is reflecting that not a lot was getting done in class - and the reality is that your DS does need to make an effort when on his own as well.

I also think you have to step back and realise that there are always a few teachers that are 'dragons' and that aren't particularly supportive/ reasonable/ professional with children/ young teenagers. They exist - and it's always been the case.

When I was in high school we all dreaded a maths teacher who was very fond of pop quizzes or putting ridiculously hard questions on tests to 'challenge' us. We were endlessly told we were stupid and worse than any year he'd taught before. But we all left that maths class learning to keep our heads down and get on with it - and I've certainly been less frightened/ intimidated by 'dragon' colleagues/ managers ever since.

Gosh I would definitely chill out. Your ds has struggled to make his sock monkey. Teacher has observed as have you that he didn't have much of a clue. Conclusion ds not v good at this particular tech subject. End. It really doesn't warrant all this angst and pouring over his primary school teachers comment that he is good at arts. Honestly you sound really OTT. As regards MFL he may well have been working at 4b. He may continue to consolidate this level over different topics and may get slightly higher by end of year or not.