I've just got a bit more info on our first appeal hearing, something I was kind of aware if, but not to the extent that it happened as I was distracted & I'm interested in your opinions on this as it's pretty upsetting TBH.
DH has just been with SIL & they were discussing the last hearing as she was with me, we intend her to be with us this time, but as a bystander so to speak as she's very observant & can type up notes in case if irregularities.
After our last hearing I knew she was very cross about one panel member, who did sort of take over the proceedings & was very aggressive with his questioning, but I didn't think too much if it, didn't take it that personally , just figured that was his role, though was aware, it was more full on than I ever expected - SIL called him a Rotweiller , she was angry about him, but didn't say why.
I was quizzed hard over some points of my original school application - I did make bad choices on that as were had a hell of a time around the time if school viewings, as my mum was seriously ill, bedside vigil for a month at the other end of the country & then she died leaving DF suicidal, so lots of time away from home, at the other end of the country & running backwards & forwards, major stress & - upset - so bar our 2 closest schools, I took the advice if a good friend who lives closish & her DS has health issues so she had similar needs to us - unfortunately I couldn't see well & misread the distance on our 3rd choice school, so it was never really an option.
During this guy quizzing me over this & DDs need for good pastoral care both for health needs & that her beloved god mum, who she dotes on has terminal cancer -,I cracked & became tearful, I'm not usually a cryer, but lack of sleep, stress took over & took a second to compose myself & carried on
SIL told DH today, that whilst I had my head down trying to stop myself crumbling & sobbing, this man was rolling his eyes at the other panel members, very dramatically & flamboyantly, so it was obvious he was annoyed
I did comment before starting the explanation, that I'm sure it would sound like a sob story, but unfortunately for us it was all true, mention of my mum dying was amongst some of the evidence
Looking back on that now, I wish I had known that too, SIL was very angry about it & felt that the hearing was loaded against me before I even started & that this man disbelieved everything & was OTT in his aggressive & disrespectful attitude - she told DH she didn't tell me as she knew by the nature if it, it would upset me more
Is this sort of behaviour normal or acceptable by a panel member, normal or acceptable, she compared him to the new Gay judge July character in TV - very bitchy & took over - do panels usually work in this way - good cop, bad cop etc etc
Trying to Phsyc myself up for next week, but this has shook me a bit