13+ boarding SOS

[firstboard]

Dear moms,
My DS will got to Year 6 in Sept . My husband is being transferred to Switzerland and we may be moving countries frequently. We have decided to take DS to Swiss for 2 years and then send him to UK boarding schools from 13+ age.
I live in Manchester, so we don't have local boarding options. I have been franatically searching internet and have managed to register DS for Winchester, Westminster, Eton, Kings, Tonbridge, Harrow and Whitgrift ( Yes, I am paranoid !!) .
DS is very bright, managed to get through Manchester Grammar for Boys here. His maths is good and English is also above average.
I have received test dates of Eton and Tonbridge. Where should we begin preparation.
Getting registered and getting a test date all happend in span of 15 days and I am now wondering if I should prepare DS or leave everything to his potential because there is not much time left to shift gears.
We will be doing 11+ English, VR, NVR and maths - GL assessments . What else should I do?
Thanks for your replies .

Wellington is getting a new younger head in September so would anticipate some changes. Seldom is a marmite character. Not the most academically selective Ime and have heard some tales of aspiring socialite excursions to teen nightclubs!

Hi Lizs, happy new year !! I've been searching old threads on WC and it doesn't sound the right school for DS. Specially the Rugby as main sport isn't any good for DS and nightclubs has put me off .

Realistically speaking, my probable list now has Winchester , Kings Cantebury and Harrow. Someone suggested that Eton and Harrow results usually match, so if we don't get Winchester or Kings, I have to do some serious thinking.

"Someone suggested that Eton and Harrow results usually match"
When my DS's were at prep we used to hear this sort of thing from parents but at least five boys that I can think of in my DS's classes failed to get Eton but got offered places at Harrow so Id ignore that if I was you. Harrow is very over subscribed I think as over subscribed at Eton but I really don't think it makes a scrap of difference that your DS didn't get Eton.
If you like Harrow (not for me) then apply.

I think Wellington has quite a mix of weekly, flexi and full boarders. They are known to play rugby rather aggressively I know a couple of schools who claim they won't play them any more because of this.

"They are known to play rugby rather aggressively I know a couple of schools who claim they won't play them any more because of this."

That's how rugby should be played, hg! I'm flabbergasted any school(s) would think otherwise. Perhaps they may want to consider playing netball instead if they find playing rugby aggressive.

But hg is right, OP, there have been many boys who didn't get Eton but got into Harrow which is a much preferred school compared to Wellington IMO. But they play rugby too. I did say up thread they play cricket against Eton at Lord's annually. If I were you, I'd put all my energy towards Harrow at this stage.

I think peternas that the couple of schools I know who claim they won't play Wellington at rugby (both are considered top rugby playing schools with GB team members and play all the other schools on the circuit who take rugby very seriously like Radley) are being restrained, I think what they are really saying is that Wellington are basically cheating by playing unnecessarily and inappropriately physically aggressively.

Peteneras even I know that some schools have a reputation of more aggressive foul play in rugby (which I am guessing HG meant) which they can more often get away with compared to higher level rugby with tighter umpiring Hopefully you would n't be encouraging this type of aggressive play which is not within the spirit and rules of the game.
Some schools (I think Wellington is one of them) place so much importance on rugby that they actively recruit senior top level rugby players with special inducements.

Yes, I have registered him for Harrow. They pre test in Year 7. I am not letting the opportunity go, but will keep my other options open and my hopes in check.

Happy - I am not completely believing that Eton and Harrow results will be same. But just keeping my other options open just in case it turns out to be true for us.

Yes, I think you are very sensible at this stage of the game and given the circumstances, OP and I wish you and your DS every success.

”Wellington are basically cheating by playing unnecessarily and inappropriately physically aggressively.”

That’s quite a mouthful hg but I got there and understand what you’re saying.

”I know that some schools have a reputation of more aggressive foul play in rugby. . .”

But ladies, please note there is a world of difference between aggressive play and foul play in rugby and indeed in most sports. For example, one can even play aggressively even in a non-contact sport like tennis, you just have to watch Wimbledon in any given summer to hear the loud grunts and groans (eh. . . mainly from the ladies matches ) to see what I mean. But that’s not foul play, is it?

In a high-contact sport like rugby especially, aggression is a much valued quality. Just look at one of the world’s most successful rugby teams, the All Blacks performing the haka, a Maori war dance with tongues wagging , thighs and arms slapping etc. to psych themselves up aggressively before every international match.

So, contrary to what you think summers, I would certainly encourage aggressive play in rugby which is perfectly within the spirit and rules of the game but I categorically denounce any foul play which is dangerous and certainly against the rules and not in the spirit of the game. After all, it is said that rugby is a hooligan’s game played by gentlemen.

If you are in Manchester and your DS doesn't like Rugby have you looked at Repton? Hockey is their first sport, and they have a number of international standard players. They play football and cricket etc, but Rugby is very much a second sport

Peteneras thank you for that explanation but no need to have wasted your time . Although you may have misunderstood our posts you need not worry, differentiating between aggressive foul tactics (as referred to) and competitive aggressiveness within the rules is not difficult. However, repeating my point, the desire to win means that some schools are known not to discourage the former.

No, I did not misunderstand your posts, they're elementary enough for a ten-year-old kid and you may not know about this summers, but there is such a person known as the referee in any rugby match. That's not to mention the two linesmen on either sides of the pitch assisting the referee in a big game. Foul play(s) by any player(s) I'm afraid, don't stand a chance in a game of rugby. They'd have quickly be warned by the ref in no uncertain terms and sent to the sin bin to cool down or perhaps be dismissed instantly from the pitch altogether depending on the severity. So I don't know what foul play you're talking about never mind aggressive foul play.

peteneras
Refs don't see everything even experienced ones. DS1 plays U12 club rugby every week and there are plenty of things the refs miss even in competition matches and I have seen the bruises to prove it.

Peteneras I don't want to bore you by repeating a point I mentioned previously and we are offtrack for this thread but there is a lot more potential for foul play occurring at the competitive senior school level as the refereeing is more variable and less tight (so I have been told by people with experience of international and school rugby)

Chazs, refs are humans just like you and I. And as humans, they do sometimes make mistakes because they cannot be expected to be everywhere and seeing everything all at the same time and often are required to make a (correct) decision very quickly in a fast-moving game of rugby. That’s why in most rugby matches especially big/important ones, the 2 linesmen are expected to help the ref in rooting out foul play as well as unfair play e.g. flagging players up for off-side, etc.

Even then, some ‘illegal practices’ by players in the field can still sometimes escape the notices of the most observant umpiring officials especially in the darkened world inside a set scrum where a prop forward may be chewing off the ear of the opposition hooker and/or fellow prop! Here, modern technology in the form of CCTV cameras are deployed to help stem out foul play.

Please rest assured, summers, the RFU is non negotiable in its determination to stem out foul play in rugby and all RFU qualified refs would have this policy permanently etched in their heads as the very First Commandment!

If it’s any consolation at all, Chazs, your DS1 seems to me to be a good rugby player as I do not know of any rugby player worth his salt coming through a game or tournament unscathed. What position does he play? If you don’t know, what is the number on his shirt?

He's usually a hooker but sometimes fills in as a prop.

We are probably going for a day school rather than boarding unlike the OP and it's not too hard finding schools with keen rugby teams.

Hello everyone,
We’ve returned from Winchester interview and I must say I am thoroughly impressed !! Not that its hard to impress me (LOL), but still, it gave me confidence of leaving my DS with the house master for 5 years without any doubt or guilt in my mind/heart.

I didn’t see the school, I visited only the house. Ethos of House master are similar to our family and parenting.

I like their approach towards academics and balancing it with sports and music. Studies, physical fitness, music/sports are given priority in this order. In short, if I am sending my DS away , it should give him much more from his boarding life than we can provide locally

DS took a promise from me that I will not interrogate him about interview, so I got only snippets of what was asked. He did two maths tests .He found both very easy and thinks he has got everything correct ( makes me bit worried !!) . They discussed a poem and chatted a lot ( DS has conveniently forgotten topic of chat) . That’s all I could get from him. Now a long wait till mid June for results .

Bless them, they can never remember a darned thing can they? And there's you turning yourself inside out wanting to know how it went .

Sounds promising though, I hope it works out for you.

Thanks for updating us firstboard. Winchester is a school where the relationship between the teachers and boys and keeping the boys happy is far more of a priority than talking to the parents (not a given for certain other private schools). Sounds as though your DS's chat could have been the first step in that direction being very much between him and the housemaster.

I would say though that a minor disadvantage for the younger full boarders is the absence of organised trips on Sundays that quite a few other boarding schools have. Not a problem for my DS as he has enough to occupy him. I suppose the advantage is they are free to do as they want rather than be organised.

Good luck to your DS firstboard we find the lack of Sunday activities rather tedious our only serious gripe. But talking to friends with DC's at other boarding schools few schools seem to organise much.
We've also found the relationship between the HM and the boys is excellent ours is extraordinarily dedicated.

firstboard ,

Glad to hear it went well. My son is in his final year at Winchester , and he and we can honestly say it has been fantastic for him . Like your son , mine doesn't like rugby , but he has found other sports he enjoys and keeps up. He is never going to be a talented athlete but he bungs up and does his sport with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Also , he has other extra-curricular things he really enjoys and does well. It has been lovely for us to see the support he has had , both from HM and other dons whilst he has been thinking about university applications. (I am sure that seems an age away to you , but believe me , it comes round quicker than you imagine )

Also , the one thing I would say is that as they get older , I actually think that having Sunday to relax a bit, or choose what you want to do is not necessarily a bad thing . Take your point HG and Summer , but certainly in the more senior years I think having a day without organised activities is not actually a bad thing. (I do appreciate you made your comments re younger boys) .

Anyway I wish him all the best of luck OP

EH

Eustacea I don't disagree with you, even his first years DS once chapel finished appreciated the time to 'stand and stare' on Sundays, a precious commodity in a hectic boarding life. He also has quite a few friends stay in for Sundays both in his house and other houses so is not short of companions when he is there. I also like the idea that they have space that they can fill or not. I still feel though that in the first few weeks of year 9 when they are settling in (and maybe longer for some boys) there should be optional school organised activities as it is a bit hit and miss from the houses.

Summerends , I think your point is valid. It is probable that given my DS is at the other end of his school life , we have forgotten a bit those first few terms . I do , now that you have said it , remember him saying there were (when he first started ) some bits when he felt he was "hanging around " a bit, and yes , some organised things might have helped . However, I think they learn to fill that time and certainly , not sure how old your DS is , but certainly mine, in his final year , appreciates the time that Sunday , after chapel , gives him. I suspect we are in violent agreement .
EH

Eustacea DS2 is in the L6th unfortunately he seems more keen to come home on Sunday than he did in the beginning. Nearly everyone in his house goes home, but as most live in a London it's doable for them but we don't have public transport links so end up driving for just under 6 hours every other Sunday.
Win Coll is a fantastic school, the staff are amazing and the myriad opportunities, with something to suit everyone, is just brilliant for my non team sports playing DS, the schools ethos and culture is unique, if only they could occasionally organise something for the boys on Sundays especially this term and next when we get less exeats.