13+ boarding SOS

[firstboard]

Dear moms,
My DS will got to Year 6 in Sept . My husband is being transferred to Switzerland and we may be moving countries frequently. We have decided to take DS to Swiss for 2 years and then send him to UK boarding schools from 13+ age.
I live in Manchester, so we don't have local boarding options. I have been franatically searching internet and have managed to register DS for Winchester, Westminster, Eton, Kings, Tonbridge, Harrow and Whitgrift ( Yes, I am paranoid !!) .
DS is very bright, managed to get through Manchester Grammar for Boys here. His maths is good and English is also above average.
I have received test dates of Eton and Tonbridge. Where should we begin preparation.
Getting registered and getting a test date all happend in span of 15 days and I am now wondering if I should prepare DS or leave everything to his potential because there is not much time left to shift gears.
We will be doing 11+ English, VR, NVR and maths - GL assessments . What else should I do?
Thanks for your replies .

[Drinkstoomuchcoffee]

Zero, maybe we have different versions of the site. On my version, on Sat 1 Nov 1510 Firstboard said:

"Paterneas - I hope he gets a place anywhere - Eton , Harrow or Winchester. Cricket is like cherry on the cake smile . He is above average, I will not describe him as "very bright""

Perhaps OP is down playing his abilities. But it is obviously in his best interests to explain to him that competition for these schools is much stiffer than that he may have encountered to date. That way, if he passes, it boosts his self esteem. If he does not it helps to cushion the blow.

[ZeroSomeGameThingy]

Ah. I copied and pasted from her OP.

I'm impatient with this repeated "aspirational"/"oversubscribed" description. Schools can only pick pupils from those who apply.

[Noteventhebestdrummer]

This kid is already at an excellent school. They know the kid and believe me, they know about other schools too. They may even know a way that he could stay at MGS with a host family, I think this has been done before.
It would seem wise to ask their advice. Even though it's a school somewhere...Northern

[firstboard]

Thanks everyone . I have struck out the Weekly boarding schools from my list. Initially I applied for Westminster and Tonbridge - but we did not go for their test as I understood the implications of weekly boards bit too late :( It sounds very silly to me now, but at the time of applying, I was completely in dark about these terms.

Thanks for Charterhouse , Whitgift and Harrow pointers. It's already overwhelming to take these assessments. I will be more focussed on full boardings.

Regarding DS's ability , he is definitely not a genius, but has always been in top 2-3 in his class at previous prep school. He is doing very well at MGS. There are a few genius in every subject who score full marks in anything and everything, but he is not behind them. If I felt its beyond DS's calibre, I would not have wasted my time.

However I agree to some extent that the competition level of Manchester can't be compared to these World schools . Winchester will be hard to crack, so I am leaving everything to his natural ability. DS is sensible , sincere, intense type. He takes everything very seriously and is very clear about his shortcomings . He plays only one sport - Cricket, but he plays it well . So I will leave it to DS. And yes, he may not get a place again, we are prepared for this. But from what I have heard, I think he stands a fair chance. I also think he was given a fair chance at Eton.

Realistically speaking, I have only 3 full boarding schools - Winchester, Wellington and Kings Canterbury.

I will look up at some schools suggested and extend my list. Proximity to airport will be my major concern.

All criticism is welcome !! Remember its not just me who is getting suggestions,- some hapless and clueless mother in year 2020 may find all this discussion very enlightening .

[firstboard]

St Edmund seems to be a Day plus Full board. I am bit sceptical about mixed weekly and full board. I don't want DS to be saying goodbye to his friends on Saturday evening and feeling homesick.

Drinkcoffee - Yes, I have explained to DS about the level of competition and he has taken his failure sportingly. There were boys from Hong kong, US and all over the world at Eton, so it has opened his eyes to the extent of competition. Thankfully MGS is very moral boosting school, so he will be confident, but not over confident about anything.

[summerends]

firstboard there is the same international interest for Winchester but I think that as for Eton it is more how they see the personality, capacity and drive of a boy (rather than parents) making the most of what the school offers. Academics (free range) are the major part of that at Winchester but as for all these 'top' schools it would be slightly missing the point if a boy went there without wanting to make the most of some of the other opportunities. A lot of very keen cricketers at Winchester so from what you say of your DS, particularly if he likes music as well he would enjoy himself there.
Seems very sensible to keep your other full boarding school options down to a couple of the ones you like best.

[JenniferClarissa]

firstboard you sound as though your head is spinning . There is so much to think about isn't there.

I can't remember if you have considered Shrewsbury. I know it isn't near an airport (one of your criteria), but for that very reason it runs coaches to/from airports at the start and end of term. When we looked round 7 years ago (so could be very out of date - don't take my word for it) they were very proud of their cricket centre. My sons' prep school sends a handful of boys there every year and they seem to do well. DS2 tells me the CE pass mark is 55% (several of his friends are going this year, CE permitting).

[happygardening]

"St Edmunds" do you mean St Edwards? There is a St Edmunds in Canterbury but that's primarily a day school.
Approximately 5/6 of the children at St Edwards are full boarders and there are no weekly/flexi boarders the rest are day.
Rugby is very big there although there are some other alternatives as well not as many as there is at Winchester for example.
Maybe I've misunderstood you comment but Harrow is full boarding only, Charterhouse is defiantly a weekly boarding school for your DS's age group.
Marlborough is virtually all full boarding (and very big) with obviously very good links for Heathrow, not my cup of tea but very popular and but I have it on good authority it is one of the few that are over subscribed I don't know by how much.

[LIZS]

Have you considered Cranleigh? Know some sporty/academic kids who attend there including a couple of excellent cricketers.

[happygardening]

Cranleigh is very popular with good cricketers, friends from DS2's prep sent both their cricket mad DS's there and they love it apart from 1 problem; it's basically weekly boarding and like the OP they are outside if the UK. They were saying for the second time only a few months ago if they'd realised this before sending them they would have chosen another school. Basically empty at the weekend.

[peteneras]

So sorry to hear of the unsuccessful attempt at Eton, OP. It’s very gracious of you to accept Eton’s judgement and decision and also to update us. I honestly think it’s in the best interest of your son in Eton’s opinion that he didn’t go there; not because he’s not clever enough I hasten to add, but there must be something else that Eton saw that the School isn’t right for him. It may be a boarding issue (I don’t know) but judging from what you told us about his ‘devastation of failure’ so to speak, I think the issue is more likely to do with his competitiveness. I’m thinking also you said for example, ”he hates Rubgy with every single cell of his body”, etc.

About competitiveness. Etonians are super competitive in almost anything that happens to cross their path. They have half the mind thinking they may win the challenge and if they don’t, the other half of their mind will tell them to come back with a vengeance. In other words, defeat is not a deterrent to them.

The bit about hating something with every single cell in the body just wouldn’t do in a school like Eton where they have vast facilities and scopes for everything and boys are expected to involve themselves. Remember, Eton’s mission statement is to educate the whole person. This is what the School is all about. It is therefore, not unusual to hear sometimes that the most brilliant academics do not succeed in getting admission.

But I feel Eton had bent over backwards to try to accommodate your son, firstboard. In all my experiences, I’ve never heard of the school accepting registration from a boy who’s over 10½ years old. Your case is truly unique!

I hope your son will be more successful at Harrow, the other great cricketing school and Winchester. Have you heard anything from them yet?

Good luck!

[peteneras]

Happygardening, there isn’t a type at Eton. Instead, there are 1300 types at any one time at the school according to Eton’s former Head Master and Provost, Sir Eric Anderson. He should know, a man having educated Prince Charles, Tony Blair and David Cameron.

[firstboard]

Peteneras - I agree with you about Eton being very accomodating. That's why I do not hold any grudge against them.

His current school MGS is also notorious for selecting agressive boys. But they accepted DS and he has taken to it like a fish in water .
Sometimes its difficult to analyse school results. That's why I accept Eton's result.

We have Winchester test next in line. Harrow will be in Year 7. I am waiting to hear from Wellington and Kings Canterbury.

[Noteventhebestdrummer]

No way is MGS notorious for selecting 'aggressive' boys! That's a completely misleading assertion.

[happygardening]

Eton has a very impersonal selection process with an 8-10 minute interview and a computer generated test which it was made very clear when we they talked to prospective parents at our old prep and when we looked around it that boys had to pass to even be considered for a place. It is inevitable that this means that it suits certain types of boys who able to shine in a very short time. Secondly they also very clearly stated that not only was there a pass mark for the computer generated test that they also didn't want those who scored to a very high a mark, they made it very clear that those would not be considered for a place either; we know two boys who were not offered a place but later went onto to get a KS. Secondly it was also made very clear that the decision to accept decline a boy is also not made by the individual interviewer/HM.
So I stand by my assertion that they it is inevitable that a certain type of boy is likely to be most successful. Fairly obviously the reserved/shy awkward boy is just not to do well.
Win Coll on the other hand with it's very long interview and any test generated by the individual house, (gossip says some HM's used to not test all boys just go on their gut feeling). Most boys will also have already met the HM interviewing them as they've chosen him and his house and registered for a place with the house/HM. This is because it's widely acknowledged that your HM is the most important person for a boy at Winchester. My DS had been to Winchester it's self three times and met informally his current HM and dined in his house and he also met another one before actually registering and attending the interview/pre test. Also the HM alone makes the decision about which boys to offer a place too. It is inevitable that this lengthy process means that boys who may not shine e.g. the shy/awkward/reserved or who on first meeting them might seem unsuitable ?the loose canons, the rule breaking non conformist eccentric or the lone wolf in a short impersonal interview process are more likely to be given more of a chance.
I am not saying that this is better than Eton's interview process and some boys will do well at both just that it's likely to benefit a certain type of personality and thus a broader cross section of personalities will be there.
I've met lots and lots of Etonians current and past pupils as a general rule all are absolutely charming a very desirable quality. I've also inevitably met lots of Wykehamists they are different from Etonians most are dyed in the wool non conformist, rule breakers who are usually slightly reserved, I would go as far to say that few are charming, they are as you get to know them very outspoken which some could find rather alarming. I personally like it. I've also known over the years met lots of Pauline's (always very easy to spot) and Wykehamist are in fact very similar to them but without the strong hint of arrogance that so many Paulines old and young have.

[ZeroSomeGameThingy]

Well, you say it has a very impersonal selection process - I couldn't possibly comment. But then neither you nor I have ever been 10 and a half year old boys ... I can tell you that the relevant child in my own family was pretty thrilled by his pre-test day. He had the interview first and was encouraged to talk about a particular thing he knew about which the interviewer apparently did not. As well as more general things. He didn't feel rushed. He felt he had ample opportunity to answer questions fully. And it was much more a conversation than a grilling. He left the interview with his confidence boosted for the computer test.

I have to say I've always had my reservations about any system where one single person gets to make a decision. I guess I really do feel that a child is going to a school not a house. I was thoroughly reassured by the number of people who gather together to make a decision at this particular school. Not all of them will have met the boy so they aren't influenced by personality - they are free to weigh up anything in his background that might help towards a decision. But obviously the opinion of the interviewer is pretty crucial. I think that's a good balance.

But it's fascinating that different people look for different things in a selection process - I suppose it does have quite an influence on which schools families put children forward for.

[IndridCold]

Secondly they also very clearly stated that not only was there a pass mark for the computer generated test that they also didn't want those who scored to a very high a mark, they made it very clear that those would not be considered for a place either;

It is certainly true that a couple of years ago none of the boys who scored the top 10 scores in the Eton test were offered places, but to extrapolate that into saying that the top scorers are not wanted, and will be rejected, is totally inaccurate.

I agree that Eton make it clear to prospective parents that if their boy is 'geekily clever' with no interests other than their studies, then they should perhaps look elsewhere. They want boys who will get involved in the drama, sports, CCF, school trips and /or clubs and societies; if a boy seems like he will make the most of the many amazing opportunities offered by the school, then he has a much better chance of being offered a place, however bright he is!

[summerends]

Zero an hour interview whether conducted by a housemaster or another must allow a better insight into a DC but also requires more stamina from the DC. My impression is that, at least from certain major feeder prep schools the reference from the head is very influential for Eton applications (and likely for Winchester also but appears more unpredictable).
I may be wrong but I suspect that a bright boy who has no major extracurricular talent or does not come from a typical boarding prep school with evidence of throwing himself into school life, would have to shine more in those 10 minutes interview to pass the pretest.

[happygardening]

Indrid you have said what I said above Eton wants boys who are going to get involved in all it has to offer. Win Coll perhaps rather sadly remains the last home of the geek with few other interests. I am not criticising either selection processes or what they are looking for but they are different and a child that shines in one may not shine in another.
Zero many years ago Win Coll was described to me as a school comprising of with 11 independent states, this I suspect has been watered done slightly over the last 10-15 years but the HM's still have considerable autonomy and power hence they are the ones who decide who they want in their houses and therefore the school. A friend hated it like you she didn't like the fact that so much power rest on the shoulders of one person and that there was significant variation on a theme and her DS went to Eton. I personally like it it. At the end of the day the school only needs a maximum 700 parents who feel the same way.

[IndridCold]

I know what we agree on happy, I was disagreeing with your assertion that Eton rejected the top scoring boys as a matter of course.

[firstboard]

Happy - DS has not met the housemaster even once. In fact when we registered , we were so late that most houses were full. I chose from a few houses available for registration. Thankfully the house we chose seem to match DS's personality as some good Moms sent PMs to assure me.



The only interaction I have had with HM is via a 2-3 emails where I explained our situation - Year 6 at MGS, Year 7-8 at Zug - just to put him in perspective. This interaction was also after I got the test date.



Do you think I have missed the chance to visit and make some bond with HM? Its too late for anything now.



Note to others - Please try to meet up Winchester HM once or twice before you pretest.



For other moms who think "why wud she do that" - I started the process in Mid july 2014, when most open days and registrations were either over or I had very less time. DS is January born, so it doesn't buy me summer baby time !!! . So I had to register for schools , without visiting. I would never advice anyone to do this.



Merry Christmas everyone !!

[summerends]

firstboard I would n't worry. If the housemaster thinks your DS is a good candidate but not suitable for his house (balance of talents etc) then your DS will be put on general list and another house selected at some later point by the registrar.

[JenniferClarissa]

firstboard - don't worry. DS1 had never been near his school before new boys' day. When he had his interview, the HM asked him why that school. DS1 said something like "because my parents think it's the right school for me and they have told me it is very good and they liked the boy who showed them round". DS2 has the advantage of having visited his elder brother lots of times, knowing his way round the school and knowing the HM.

DS1's advice is for your DS to be ready to say what he is good at, and what he can offer the school.

Hope it goes well!

[firstboard]

Hello everyone,
I have one more question. DS has to take ISEB pre test for Wellington in Feb/March. What sort of preparation should we do? Is GL assessment 11+ level enough for this? What sort of scores should we target for Wellington college?
Thanks in advance.

[firstboard]

I have read some very negative comments about Wellington college on MN :(
Is it worth spending our time and effort? Unfortunately, I can't visit the school before Pre test.