Hi everyone
Thanks for the replies, please excuse me I've sort of hit a wall mentally & physically & not even sure I can string a sentence together right now, so please excuse typos etc & my missing anything you ask - I also EDS amongst other thinks & the stress of this lat fe weeks & shock if yesterday, along with DD being very ill right now has hit now me like a ton of bricks 
Yes by DofE I meant director of education - though they might be the assistent DofE, they were sat next to school reps at plenary & next to me at our hearing - LAs representative
I checked with SIL who turns out was in the ball & was watching for things like that - they arrived in the room at the same time as us - SIL reckons they left just behind us, but took a few moments to shuffle papers together etc so was still sitting at the desk when I looked back into the hearing room, but SIL reckons they followed us out withing a couple of minute -
the lay out if the building meant that when we headed to the way out, we stopped so that I could catch my balance/breath, they would have had to pass us to get out - SIL stopped & chatted fir about 5 minutes or more inside the building & the DofE didn't pass us until we were just about to leave - hence why I though they left the room after us - SIL reckons they did, but not by much - can't be sure where they went for those extra few minutes though, but can't now say they were in the room for long - SIL did also say that she looked directly at the DofE, who looked back, so knows SIL was watching her - though neither SIL or I knew it was breaking any rules.
The allocated school is over 3 miles away, 3.3 I think - this means we do get help with transport, but it's a free bus pass - good friend whose DS has Downs Syndrome had to fight tooth & nail for a cab for him for a similar distance when he started last year - they were having to pay for it initially - so we wouldn't have a hope in hell of our LA providing a taxi for DD.
There's not a massive distance between the bus journeys for both schools, but over 10 minutes is enough to make a difference to DD as she gets very travel sick & also gets anxious & that can kick off IBS, she panicks about being late etc, so a bus ride at all will be difficult fir her
with our more local school it's only a 10 minute cycle ride or 30 minute walk, as opposed to a 35-40 minute bus rude & ideally when fit DD would cycle - I was really grilled on this point & aggressively so by one of the panel - I'm not sure I did as well as I could have TBH, they seem to have a hard time believing I would let DD cycle on her own & I also suspect they didn't understand that DD needs to be superfit in order to help her stay healthy, so walking or cycling is better for her.
But this is only part of the argument for the school - the allocated school is a "needs improvement school" an "Academy" too, according the Ofsted report bullying is dealt with well - but we know that's not true - DDs older friend was sent there last year & hated it & cried on DDs shoulder over how unhappy she was, she was racially bullied from day one & it wasn't dealt with at all, they brushed it under the rug - she moved schools as soon as she could get a place elsewhere - DD cried her eyes out when she found out that was the school offered to her.
Only 2 of her old school have been offered places there, none from her new school. - the others sibling is at a school in completely the opposite direction & they are appealing for a far less popular school & should win
Meaning DD would know no one - the panel quizzed me on how well she had settled into her new primary school - she has settled in amazingly well - it's a similar feel & ethos to the school we want - I stupidly didn't emphasise that she also knew kids in her year there already - with hindsight they were likely pulling apart her anxiety issues - so kicking myself
Allocated school is also a sports specialist - but it's contact sports which are bad for DD - it's also since been done up & made into an Academy, got an old style stricter feel to it - strict uniform code, tie etc & there seems to be nothing artistic about it at all - DD is considered creatively gifted - she is academically too, but she is a very creative kid, music art & creative writing are very much her passion - all strengths of the school we appealed for, who also have the right type of sports facilities, swimming pool, gym, etc etc
After all she's been through at her old school, culminating her being so ill & scarily fragile emotionally & us having to pull her out of school & then change schools part way through year 6 due to bullying & too frequent accidents - I just can't put her through that again
Sorry I'm rambling as I'm so exhausted
I have now rang admission back to see where DD is on the list - turns out we don't have a list, but that is an allocation pool too :( - 1 DC has a sibling priority & 140 like us a catchment priority
- I have asked how to have DD changed to medical priority & was told to email in withstood supporting evidence - which I have now done & will follow up with calls on Monday, but feel very deflated at the moment