will you be taking your dc to school on their first day of secondary?

[mrsruffallo]

what's the done thing? Will she be the only one with her mother in tow?

Do not do it to them! If you think they can't cope practise in the holidays.

Same here Bun. DS1 goes to High School 12 miles away on the school bus.

I am surprised if they let you- some children need to get more assertive!

What if they actively WANT you to though Tamer? Many people have posted that their DC have asked to be taken to school on the first day, and that in some schools it seems to be expected that parents will take them in on the first day.

In that case you have plenty of time to do the practise beforehand so they are happy on the day. You are 6 months off. Start getting them used to independence, going into shops alone staying at home alone for short periods.
6 months is a long way off.
If you do take them only do it the once.
No secondary expects parents to take them on the first day! There is no room for a start. If it is a school that expects it I would be worried that I had made the wrong choice!

To be fair - at dd's school 'any children do arrive by car; driven by parents. But it doesn't have a catchment and some people travel a fair way. Others come on school buses just for the school, and others are dropped off a bit further away and walk the rest - dd included. There is no reason about pick up/drop off as it isn't unusual at their school.

At the local High School lots must come by car as there's always gridlock and lots of crappy parking.

I our private school lots of parents drop off - often the school is not on a convenient bus route. I drop them off every day, loads of parents do and no one is teased for it. My father drove us to school until I was leaving school after A levels.

There are a lot of assumptions being made on this thread! I'm about as far from a helicopter parent as it's possible to be, and am more than happy to let me dd roam around independently, but I'll probably take her on her first day because a) we've recently moved and she doesn't yet know anyone who lives nearby to keep her company, and b) she's asked me to. Believe me, she has no problems with being assertive...

I walked with my DD, who is usually very confident but it was a new school in a new town. I walked with her as far as the side entrance gate (quite a distance to the actual school from there) & I was by no means the only parent there. She asked me, I didn't force her!

She needs to be on the bus on her own for the first time at the same time as everyone else. Its much easier socially if your first time on the bus feeling anxious and alone is the same time as another dozen people. They will all be trying to make groups, the school will be expecting them to not know quite what to do etc. So take her to the busstop, but not into school.

Oh and especially as you don't drive, you might want to consider something my DM did (she worked a fairly long drive away). I was given an undated cheque for the local taxi company at 20% more than they quoted to get me from school to home or vice-versa if there was any problem. It was made clear that I would have to justify its use, and I never needed it, but it meant that I would never be stranded. I still keep the habit up of always having enough cash for a taxi home in the lining of my bag.

You have 6 months! Anyone would think this was happening next week!
Some people do have to drive, as the only way, which is fair enough but you need to drop and let them walk the last bit to avoid grid lock.

Weirdly enough, DD1's lot bucked the trend. I was all set to wave her goodbye and then she asked me to come with her and lots of other parents were doing the same. So I may or may not with DD2 - who is of course in a completely different situation with (a) her sister (b) a load of other friends who're going too. Plus induction days. In all honesty I suspect DD2 will wave a cheery goodbye and just bugger off.

And just that one day. (Plus one day about two weeks later when she totally bottled the whole thing because The Bus Had Gone Wrong. And the day a few months ago when she was running late for an 8am class after the Incident of the Cat and the Squirrel.) There is one girl who is still driven every day and is clearly mortified by the whole thing.

But then don't most Y6s head off on their own anyway? Round here they do. Is a big social ritual.

It is a horrible thought that it is a new trend- first day at primary used to be low key and now it is a real circus!
I can't think why it is crossing anyone's mind before the latter part of August.

And my children thought I was embarrassing.................!

I have a very blurry photo (ultra zoomed in) of DS1 getting on the school bus on his first day.

We were actively encouraged to, last year. The kids come from all over London though, it's not exactly the school around the corner.
It was nice...

There is obviously a big difference between a school bus (I agree it would be absurd to go on that!) and a long journey on public transport in a big city and/or a long walk by yourself. My DD will not know anyone before she starts and even then may find that none of her friends are on the same bus. I think it's totally reasonable for parents to go too (or to 'shadow' if the child prefers for the first day. It obviously depends on the journey, whether there are friends to go with and local custom.

It obviously depends on the journey, whether there are friends to go with and local custom

That says it all.

Why do you think it's horrible that parents think their children starting secondary school is a big deal , Tamer? Surely it's a significant rite of passage? I obviously wouldn't want to do anything to embarrass my dd, or to make her more nervous, but I don't see anything wrong in recognising that it's an important day for her.

Of course it is an important day! I took a photo before they went. Apart from that it is their day- not yours.

Her school is a bus ride away (public transport) but it's quite simple- door to door,really- nit's more the momentum of the occasion.