will you be taking your dc to school on their first day of secondary?

[mrsruffallo]

what's the done thing? Will she be the only one with her mother in tow?

No we didn't. Any practising would have been done in the summer holidays. Ds seemed quite grown up by that time and certainly wouldn't have wanted it. Dd was using disabled transport so I wouldn't have been allowed in the taxi even if she had wanted it.

We took to induction session the day or so before but bus on actual first day.

My mum really really wanted to walk me to school the first day so I didn't make a fuss. But then she started taking PICTURES. Made me stand in front of the school noticeboard and started snapping away.
"Smile! no, not a grin, be natural!" etc etc

There was a girl who was walking close to us all the way and she was looking at us and grinning a bit and I was dying a little inside. We ended up being best friends though!

DH took dd on her first day. Well, he drove her to the road before the school and she met up with her friend there.

He said that there were quite a few parents dropping off.

Ds1 started at the same school a year later. He went with his friends on the first day. He was horrified at the thought of a lift.

Ds2 will start at the same school not this September but next. He will go with his brother on the first day because year 12 start the same day as year 7. He is already looking forward to going to school with ds1 so "everyone knows I've got a big brother who is cool"

Ds would have left home rather than let me accompany him on the first day!

It definitely is not the done thing. You can't imagine it, now, while they are still in yr 6, but by the time they have done the induction day and the induction evening with parents, and had a few practices of the journey, they are ready.

If we as parents are not ready, that is our problem!

(obviously in certain individual cases there will be a good reason to accompany them)

Actually, my y7 DD likes nothing better than a lift to the bus stop most days, especially if wet stuff falling out of the sky. I think the novelty of independent travel may soon wear off(?!)

Our school is walking distance and DD1 has been walking alone since the end of Yr6 (her secondary ended up being in the same building due to migration to 2-tier). She has always gone with a friend and would not have been seen dead coming in with me. I'm barely allowed to go with her to parent evenings and am just about allowed to pick her up after sports fixtures.

I think it's different if there are buses involved and if the child has no friends to travel with. Sorry about the fence sitting...

Children generally go to school on their own from year 5 unless you have to drive them I can't see why you would accompany them. It would raise a few eyebrows.

I was thinking about this (along with all the other over-thinking I've been doing since we got the offer letter).

I think DD1 will probably go in on the bus (very easy, as it's the same bus she gets now to primary) unless she desperately wants me to drive her down there.

I might pick her up on the first day or two though, because I've heard that finding the right bus stop at the end of the day can be a challenge. I'll park up the road and she can come and find me in the car though!

We were discussing last night whether she would take a packed lunch in the first week, or brave the canteen?!

I walked to school with my eldest the first day - took the dog and didn't make a big deal of saying goodbye! Didn't for the next 2, and won't for dd3 (only as she will be going with dd2 - otherwise she'd probably be quite keen).

Yes, I did. Took him on bus, walked him to school gates and waited until they were taken into the school by their allotted form teachers. And I wasn't alone either, there were LOTS of us. I picked him up too, and continued to do so for the first week until he'd established a routine and was ready to do it for himself. It was led by him entirely.

OP, don't listen to any of us -you work out what's right for you and your DC, and do that.

"I wonder if it a regional or school specific thing as opposed to a parents gut reaction thing?"

I think it probably school specific. DD's school is in a market town and has dedicated school buses coming in from the surroundings villages. The children do a couple of taster days in the July and get a chance to practise catching the bus then. They can't do this in the school holidays because the school buses aren't running.

With ds1 I went into town with him, then waited at the bus stop until the bus came which took him to outside the school gates. I used to work about 200 meters from his bus stop, so he just popped in on his way from school and we went home together. I think I did that every day for a week until he felt confident.

Ds2 goes to a different school. Dh took ds2 on the bus to make sure he got off at the right stop (you can't see the school from the bus stop) and the the same coming home. But not all the way to school, to about 100 meters away. I took ds2 on the second day, then picked him up and came home on a different bus which he hadn't been on before. After that he was happy to go by himself. He only has to catch 1 bus to school and back again. He leaves at 7.40 and gets to school for 8.25. School starts at 8.40. He comes home on the small circular bus which only runs every hour.

It depends on your child, whether they are traveling with friends, and how far school is. As well as whether there is a school bus etc.

Neither ds1 or ds2 went to the same school as their friends from junior school (that was their choice).

I think having friends going to the same school is a big factor...and if your child wants you to go with them, then there is no issue - go with them!

But if they want to go on their own / ban you - then our lot is to fret alone!

Really not the done thing at all here. Let them go on their own.

On her first day DD cycled, as we had practiced several times during the summer holidays.

However, she had been walking to and from school throughout Year 6 too. She started Year 6 with her walking to my car (we live a mile and half away) to meet me. As the year progressed she walked further home till she got to the stage of walking to her friend's house which is about half way home. The first day they did it they got lost and myself and the other mother were starting to panic slightly. Only happened once though.

DD1 had two induction days in the term before starting secondary. On the first of those, I walked her to a park near the school, where she met a friend and they walked the last leg together. The second day, she walked to the park alone to meet friend. During the summer holidays, she made increasingly frequent journeys alone.

By the time she actually started, there was really no need for me to walk her there. She did still walk with a friend though.

I had a strong sense of being entirely redundant by 8:15am (when she left), but I got over it quite quickly when she got home and spent an hour bombarding me with new information .

No

If you want them to gain confidence getting the bus, then get them to practise in the school holidays. Don't embarrass them on the first day at secondary school.

When my (now Yr10) dd started, only the Yr7s went in on the first day, and she was just setting off to walk, when a girl ran up behind her and ask if it was her first day too and could she walk with her. All these years on they remain very good friends and walk in together every day - would be a shame to miss out on those tentative new friendships.

I took both of mine, year 7s start a day earlier than the others so a little less daunting without the older kids around. I would say at least half the kids were walked in by parents and it seemed to be expected.

DS2 was only just 11 and didn't know anyone else at the school, when we got near he tried to hold my hand and I had to tell him that it was probably not the done thing to hold your mum's hand on the way to secondary school, almost broke my heart!

I took mine on first day, I think it just shows support and realise its a big step for them. Mine were more than used to going out and about on their own, walking to primary from year 5, but first day at secondary is different. I didn't actually walk them into the grounds, just sfopped the car nearby and waved through the fence. Loads of parents were doing the same. This is south London.

I waited at the bus stop with DS on the first two day. DH sternly told me DS would be fine on the third day

I think my daughter already has a complicated route worked out so that a "gang" of them will go together. I can just imagine her face if I tried to tag along.

I will walk with DD if she wants me to - so far she does- and a bet loads of others do too. I'm shocked by all these tales of embarrassment, piss-taking and peer pressure (not just on this thread) - glad it's not like that round here.
Take her is she wants - by whatever transport is convenient - and don't if she (really) doesn't.

I did but i work there....
also, the school bus didn't run the first day as it was only year 7s in so I had 3 of DS's friends as well

blimey no.

Never taken them to secondary school. Why would you? Mind you we are lucky enough to live about 2 mins' walk away

TBH the reason why people might not do this would be as others have said, because they are dropping off at primary! Can't be in 2 places at once...

"I'm shocked by all these tales of embarrassment, piss-taking and peer pressure"

Really! Welcome to the world of high school. Nearly all the children in our area go to the same school. The only time any of the pupils are accompanied by a parent is if they get a lift. The buses are dedicated school buses for the pupils only - no public, no parents.

We don't live near enough the school to walk there, but on the odd occasion I have dropped DD off I have never seen a parent walking with their child to school. It just doesn't happen round here.