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Original poster

Is Westminster School the best school on Earth?

1000 replies

statesmom · 01/02/2014 17:20

Just looking at their website and they have 97 places for their students at Oxford and Cambridge this year?!

We have an 8 year old son and want to focus on getting him into this place, just next to the Palace of Westminster. It looks amazing! Any thought on parents with children at the school very welcome indeed, especially any thoughts on the application process. Thank you for someone new to London.

OP posts:
LauraBridges · 02/02/2014 18:49

People differ. We specifically wanted all ours to graduate as my generation all did and my parents' generations and all in good professions. It's just a family norm like a factory worker might want his son in the factory. I don't think it's unusual to want the good things in your life for your children, intellectually challenging work they adore which is highly paid and high status. Plenty of us have that plus our children are loved understood and nurtured. You don't have to have low exceptions as parents in order to ensure your children are loved!

MrsRuffdiamond · 02/02/2014 19:16

That's rather patronising. Laura. A factory worker is just as likely to want his children to have the 'good things in life' and go to university as anyone else!

You don't have to be in a highly paid, 'high status' job to want your children to have an excellent education.

Original poster
statesmom · 02/02/2014 19:26

What's patronizing, MrsRuff, is for people to say, "Why so obsessed about Oxford or Harvard? Why don't you just want your children to be loved and to be happy?"

As if those who want their children to go to the best schools and get the best jobs don't worry first and foremost about their happiness. Amy Chua has a new book out, can't wait.

OP posts:
NearTheWindmill · 02/02/2014 19:28

But in England statesmom one might think it but one doesn't say it out loud. It isn't good manners. And if one is used to it, one doesn't have to read books about it.

Crowler · 02/02/2014 19:37

Rather like talking too explicitly about money, perhaps.

ballylee · 02/02/2014 20:03

"Amy Chua has a new book out, can't wait"......sorry, OP ...but that comment alone makes me think you are just here to troll and bait.

MrsRuffdiamond · 02/02/2014 20:05

But my wanting a good education for my children is nothing to do with me wanting them to go to Oxbridge or end up in high status jobs. If they want that, fine. If they don't want that, fine too.

What a good education gives them is the freedom to keep their options open. You don't have to go to the 'best' (in its narrowest, league table sense) schools to be educated well, or be in the 'best' (I assume you mean highest paid) jobs to be a fulfilled, valued and valuable member of society.

ballylee · 02/02/2014 20:07

"It's just a family norm like a factory worker might want his son in the factory."

Sorry Laura that just does not compute.....

ChaChaDigregorio · 02/02/2014 20:10

What I am saying is that a private education does not equal happiness. There is some implication here that it does.

I am questioning the motivation of some parents who will push rather than nurture, who will fulfil their needs rather than their child's.

I'm not saying that anyone on here fits that bill but when a parent starts their child on an Oxbridge treadmill from an early age and putting expectations onto that child then there could be negative consequences.

Amy Chua is one of those parents.

ChaChaDigregorio · 02/02/2014 20:13

'You don't have to have low expectations in order to ensure your children are loved'

Personally, I have zero expectations as a parent. Surely an expectation means you are needing or demanding something from your child?

Original poster
statesmom · 02/02/2014 20:20

Chacha says: "Personally, I have zero expectations as a parent. Surely an expectation means you are needing or demanding something from your child?"

Do you think that makes you a good mother? Your kid comes home, fails a test. What, no problem?

You have 0 expectations as a parent? From whom are your children supposed to get direction? Goodness I have never heard of such a thing.

OP posts:
Crowler · 02/02/2014 20:22

The Amy Chua reference does seem troll-ish.

As of noon tomorrow, I shall have emerged from the 11+ and here's the way it generally works (in my limited experience): parents will send their child to the school with the highest league table rating that will have them. How much they're willing to coach them varies based on how much they adhere to the "right school for the right child" ethos.

ballylee · 02/02/2014 20:23

What is a "best" job anyway? Highest paid? Or the most fulfilling and rewarding according to your interests?

A lot of vicarious living goes on with parents planning this or that path for their children in a decade's time ...but at the end, assuming your child has the requisite intelligence and talent it is his/her own motivation and passion that counts,...and that has to come from them. I know a top Oxford don whose son dropped out of uni...the best laid plans....know other parents who were uneducated immigrants - never been anywhere near a university and whose sons both went to Cambridge after state schools.

In this internet age, a motivated student honestly can stretch themselves way beyond the narrowness of an A level curriculum by doing online free courses with video lecturers from MIT and the like, and that kind of individual passion to take the effort to do those courses and show passion and depth will impress the interviewers at an Oxbridge interviewers.

My biggest criteria for a school, ambitious as it is, i will it teach my DS to really think?

ChaChaDigregorio · 02/02/2014 20:26

Statesmom.

My child loves to read, so I encourage her.

She loves science so I buy her science books.

She loves to dance. I buy her dance lessons.

I have no expectations of her to be the best at any of these. Through support and encouragement she is a bright, happy, confident little girl.

I would never ever push her. I've seen the consequences of it too many times (I work with 16-18 year olds with EBD and work daily with the consequences of Amy Chua type parenting).

Incidentally, she is top of her class in English and maths. Her dancing is another matter but she loves it.

What I'm saying is that there's another way of doing things other than the Amy Chua way. It may not suit you, but it's worth thinking about...

Needmoresleep · 02/02/2014 20:27

The very nice thing about Westminster is that it operates like a boarding school with a house system etc. Contact is through the house master not individual teachers. The school's job is to educate and they seem to expect parents to leave it to them. Apart from key end of year exams you tend not to know when tests are happening or how your child has done.

No doubt they let you know if there is a problem. Otherwise though it is very arms length. I don't think it would be the school for Amy Chua's children.

ballylee · 02/02/2014 20:28

"parents will send their child to the school with the highest league table rating that will have them"

Not true... a lot of prep school parents eschew the narrowly academic schools and go for the more all round schools with breadth of extra -curriculars for their DCs because they think the product will be more all round in the end and that is important in life.

Original poster
statesmom · 02/02/2014 20:48

Chacha says: "My child loves to read, so I encourage her.

She loves science so I buy her science books."

And what is your child didn't like to read? You have 0 expectations, you say. I guess you don't encourage her to read?

Honestly, this sort of permissive attitude toward being a parent is a wonder to me.

Do you reject all forms of authority? Whatever your kid wants to do, that's fine, and whatever she doesn't that's fine as well?

What is your role, really? I don't suppose you're looking at Westminster for sixth form.

OP posts:
MrsRuffdiamond · 02/02/2014 20:53

Haha! Going by statesmom's last post, definitely the 'T' word!

NearTheWindmill · 02/02/2014 21:10

I don't think that's what chacha was saying at all. Rather that one has to be sensitive to the needs of the child if you are to help them to achieve their full potential.

And you could say to me, "I don't suppose you are looking at Westminster for 6th form" and you would be right, no we are not and we didn't because it wouldn't be right for our dd.

ballylee · 02/02/2014 21:21

don't rise to the bait....i think statesmom is an out and out troll.... and not a very good one at that ...

Crowler · 02/02/2014 21:23

Not true... a lot of prep school parents eschew the narrowly academic schools and go for the more all round schools with breadth of extra -curriculars for their DCs because they think the product will be more all round in the end and that is important in life.
I don't know any parent who would send their child to (for example) the Harrodian if they were accepted to Westminster.

JakeBullet · 02/02/2014 21:23

I agree with the T word too. A right goady fucker.

If it IS for real then I think the OP badly needs to learn some manners.

JakeBullet · 02/02/2014 21:25

Hooray....someone said the actual T word.

Must get the tea TROLLey out and make a brew.

summerends · 02/02/2014 21:29

ballylee I fully agree with your comment "My biggest criteria for a school, ambitious as it is, i will it teach my DS to really think".
Ideally teach to think and fuel enthusiasm for deeper learning. However, as I am quite demanding, I also want a school that will equip a child to develop their own path without undue influence, micromanaging or pressure from their parents.

Dromedary · 02/02/2014 21:29

I remember when a colleague's son got all A's in his A'levels. He was at one of the top public schools, which at that time was top of the A'level league table. The father was bursting with pride, but I felt very underwhelmed - getting good results means so much less when you go to that kind of school, surely? Anyone who is remotely intelligent will end up with A's. A child from a school which generally produces poor results should definitely get more leeway from Oxbridge.

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