Do you pay/reward your children for their results/reports?

[shewhoneverdusts]

The title says it all really. The reason I ask is my dd (12) has taken her yr9 sats this year and her friends are all bragging about their results and how much money they are getting for it. She got the same (and some better results as they did) but I don't feel it's necessary to pay my dd for what is essentially a normal part of school life. Just wondered if I am being mean or what others think.

Well done to your dd

LOL Iklboo, I'm not that easy to offend

I do think there's a difference between a "treat", given to a child after exams - (partly an expression of approval for the efforts involved, and partly a celebration of the fact that the hard grind preceding the exam is over) and paying a child a pre-arranged amount of money for taking/passing exams. I'm reading this thread and re-evaluating my view, because it isn't 100% established - I can see different arguments - but at the moment I do think there is a difference between those two things, and I don't like the latter.

I did come to an agreement to pay my dd2 on a scale for mock gcse results and the actual results..it was purely a pragmatic fix to ensure she actually ended up with some. We agreed the amounts and the actual grades required in different subjects. She did end up doing better than otherwise. It was just a move to ensure that she didn't end up with nothing.

I don't agree with paying your children for school result - but my children aren't in school yet and I may change my mind when they're teenagers.......

on 'grading day' when we were kids, our 'treat' was to go to McDonalds - we were able to order 2 things off the menu ( back in the days before Happy Meals......) it was such a treat for us 'cause we never had fast food or went out for meals and I've got such lovely memories of the last day of school and going out for lunch.

Mine aren't yet at that age, but my instinct is to reward with a treat, yes, but not with money.

When we were children, our parents always rewarded a good report by taking that child out for a fancy meal or a visit to the theatre or somthing 'grown-up' and special. This was never promised beforehand, it just happened afterwards. It got quite expensive for them, because if all 3 of us had good reports that meant three separate outings. No doubt it would have been cheaper for our parents to reward us with cash, but this felt like really special attention, love and respect for our achievement.

Though my dad did once promise to grow a mustache if I came in the top 10 in any subject! Which I did, and then, after more pestering from me, agreed to grow a beard to match if I came in the top 10 overall. I don't think I was ever so motivated to do well, and I don't think I was ever in the top 10 again. So I guess bribery works .

My dad, who was a headteacher, was always appalled if anyone (e.g. my granny) gave us money for passing exams, he always said you should be given money to make up for failing . Treats sound good, and books, but I would draw the line at money (although I can see it might be a useful tool in extremis, like zippi's situation)

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snorkle, we also go out for a family meal to celibrate. No money or gifts change hands

I have just taken dd2 for a weekend in London where we went to see Les Misrables. This was a trat for her becuse she worked hard for her GCSE's and we thought this was better then rewarding her for her results.

My brothers and i got £50 for each exam we passed...it was great really motivated me and i passed all them. For highers we got told if we passed we'd get driving lessons. I think it helped dreading my boys finding out tho lol

DS 12 has a bonus if he get over 85% in all subjects
Also he gets £15 for every subject he gets over 90% in.
The reason I do this is as ds coasts in subjects he likes the least like geogrpahy and history when he is VERY capable of doing very well indeed
So a motivational tool shall we say

Shewhoneverdusts
Howcome your dd is 12 and in yr9?
My ds is 12 and ending yr7?

Hi everyone, thanks for some very interesting replies. Piffle my dd is in year 8, just finishing. She is one of the youngest in the year, so some are nearly 14, September birthdays, whereas others aren't 13 until August. DD is a July baby, hence being 12.

We reward our children for effort and results - both of which are given marks on their reports. They only get something for A's though.

In life you are (should be ) rewarded for your efforts and achievements, so I can't see what's so awful about it really.

Ive promised dd £10 for each target she exceeds, nothing for achieving it, and loses £5 for each one she doesnt achieve. Unfortunately, the school report doesnt tell me the grades she should ahve achieved and now I have to wait until September to find these out. I do know of 2 subjects she definitely over achieved in but of course these could be cancelled out by under achieving in other areas

I would be happy to give a treat for doing well in exams, like a family outing. Not talking about cars or money.

But I find it abhorrent in principle to dangle material rewards as a pre-exam incentive for doing well. All through sec school and beyond, I was truly proud to do well in exams and crushed if I didn't. Would be really disappointed if my children did not have similar personal pride in their own academic (or other) achievements.

DD:"Can I have a major piercing for each A* I get?" trouble is , she's predicted to get at least 5....

Sorry Rusty - it would be a big fat 'no' from me!!

It was from me too!

I suppose I could always threaten a major piercing, if they didn't work hard enough!!

hiya
it's not so much the giving of treats/rewards that bothers me so much as the attitude it seems to bring out in this already very competitive group of girls. Oh and the bribery side of it,iykwim. The "if you get an 8 for maths we'll give you £20" etc, which leads onto the "I got £20, what did you get?"
And I would definitely say NO to the piercings!

We usually buy big treats for exceptionally good reports - passing entrance exams, but only ever after the fact IYSWIM.

I like linking reward to effort - it is in fact the basis on which of us are rewarded during all of our lives, and I think it's good to get the message in early.

I wouldn't pay bribe money though, as I firmly believe that self motivation is far more important than bribery in life. However, if they decide to put in the effort, then I will reward it!

DS has overcome a lot of speech and language problems and early reading was troublesome for him. His report card was fantastic for this year, and his teacher has praised him to the hills and back - so he was handsomely rewarded this year.

Mine aren't that age yet, but I won't be doing it. I think they should achieve good results or do their best for themselves and not for me. I have worked with too many people who even in adult life only work for money or bonuses and not for themselves so I think paying them for school work can foster the wrong attitude.

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I dont think there is anything wrong in rewarding for reports / exam results and so on.