not doing year 7 homework

[lu9months]

My ds is at a selective secondary and is meant to have an hours homework a night, however he often says he has nothing, and when he does, he only spends 10-15 mins on it. The school say he needs to put more effort in , but he seems to think he's fine. He gets cross if I nag him, but I'm worried he isn't achieving what he could, or realising what's involved. Any thoughts on how to help him ? I don't want to keep falling out with him.

Leave it up to him. School should have sanctions if he doesn't do enough. He needs to work it out for himself and develop his own work ethic. Better he starts to learn this over the next three years than in GCSE or A level years.

Does he have a homework diary? If so, is it being filled in properly?

Hello? Are you me?

I thought DS's (Y7) school was "going light" on homework to break them in gently, until I went to parents' evening and found that they weren't, it was just DS who was going light on homework! Although his geography teacher made me laugh, as she smiled when I went in and said "I've just had the mother [of a girl] telling me that her daughter is spending 2 hours on her homework every night and crying and getting tense because it isn't perfect - I think that is not the conversation we are going to have".

I'm taking a middle ground between micro-managing (don't want to) and letting him get bollocked by the school into getting it right (not sure that is the best way of learning). I think ATM he nees help in getting the framework right.

We got a copy of his homework timetable - which previously he had been unable to locate and make him write down at the beginning of the week exactly what homework he is supposed to have on which day in his planner (which is entertaining as he now gets indignant if he get's homework when he is not scheduled to ). I think this has really helped him to be able to see what is expected/coming rather than it all being a random surprise. We also check of an evening that it has the return date marked in. I'm not checking his actual homework, other than his maths, but I do find that being able to say "Hmm, Science due in tomorrow: have you done it? what was it?" etc is much better than a random "Have you done your homework" question. I will also say "Oh, that looks quite short, did Miss Teacher say don't bother doing too much if there is something you want to watch on tv" which will often elicit a couple more paragraphs getting done

It sounds like he is actually getting homework but maybe not giving it his best shot. I suppose the bottom line is what grades he is getting in relation to target. In our house we have a "useful hour" at the same time every day where they do something useful, whether or not its homework. And always keep asking about what homework is due.

It's also worth finding out what the expectations are of independent study.

My Yr7 DS is expected to 'read around the subject' in Science, Geography and History, which often gets done if homework hasn't been given or finished quickly.

Not quite sure if it's a girl thing. My nephew will religiously do two hours a night on homework without batting an eyelid and will get pedantic about his essays too. Although, the thought if starting it is usually the hard part, when he gets going he's fine. Having said that, his best friend is quite the opposite and will spend as little time on it as possible. In an highly sought after comprehensive.

Not quite sure about the, 'gets cross if I nag him,' bit. You're the parent not his mate. I wouldn't give a flying hoot if my dd got cross if I nagged her. The homework needs to be done and done well. In her own words she says I'm a softy but strict when it comes to education. My nephews mum is the same too. There's also a balance which she's aware of. I spend a lot of time and money on the things she loves doing outside of school too so it's not all just school work. Having said that she knows that she gets all that because she works hard at school.

The only tip I can give is, I tend to reward when a great job is done, great results or great effort as opposed to taking things away if they don't do well and threaten.

DS1 is now in Y9 and is still doing this. He claims he does some of it in class time / lunchtimes.

Thanks all, appreciate the comments. I'm hoping now the first term is coming to an end , we can set a few more targets about getting things done well and on time next term

Check his mark for the homework. If it is poor then sit down and discuss how it could be improved. Let/make him do it again. Do it with him if you have to. Persevere. You will win him over to making a better attempt first time with each homework. He'll realise it will be less hassle to make the effort first time around. His teacher might offer some input if you have a chat.

Get HW timetable.
Ask subject teachers to ensure HW written in diary.
Check diary each night.

Or get him to sit down at desk/table for an hour each night. He can do HW or stare at the wall!

titchy - the problem with your solution is that as a school we depend on parents to support and therefore by leaving them to the school sanctions only and not giving your support does not do your DC, you nor the schools any favours. Whilst you are correct that they need to require their own work ethic, these children are 11 years of age and therefore need support in order to discover this

Yep fair enough cricketballs. Now you mention it (mine are older) year 7 should be spent with parents making sure they have the mechanisms required with a view to stepping away completely over the next year or two.

Just make sure that by the time they're off to university they have the organisational skills and work ethic to get their dissertation done without you breathing down their neck!

@cricketballs, quite true. Year 7 was our homework as opposed to just hers. It would be the question of, what homework do we have tonight. Education I think is a 3 way thing: child, parent, school. dd Year 8 now and much more independent, although I do still read through thoroughly and won't sign off until I'm satisfied. Although Maths is beyond me, but I do still make sure dd has checked and check again.

Having said all that, it's not easy with all the other stuff we have on our plates as parents.

"I do still read through thoroughly and won't sign off until I'm satisfied"

If you do this, how on earth is the teacher supposed to know whether he's "getting" it or not?

Do the school have punishments if homework isn't done/handed in on time? My daughter's school issue detentions. Today she's forgotten her history project, so has asked me to drop it in at break time. She's done far in excess of what tutor asked so hopes he will agree to it being handed in within 15 mins of end of lesson, otherwise she knows it will be a detention. I'm not very amused at having to go into school, but at least she is trying to put things right.

The main thing he has something to hand in. At the moment they are getting to know him and what he is capable of. It may well be that he is submitting all he can in a particular subject.

If you feel this problem is continuing, do speak to the school, I'm sure they will be happy to talk to you about this and that your son has parent support.

@curlew: I won't sign off work say an English piece for example, where where dd has missed a full stop; has missed a closing speech mark or has used the same word in a sentence twice. In those instances i'll remind dd that she has repeated it. Does that mean dd didn't get it or simply not did not read through her work properly? Or is it like any piece of writing where each time you proof read it, you just find better ways of writing something?

Don't know, but the more I do that, the less of those mistakes dd makes and the sharper her works get. Plus the teacher still finds the odd bit even I have missed (which is hardly surprising as my grammar is not the best). dd repeatedly gets 10/10 and top of class for English in Exams so I don't think the method I'm using is too cranky.

Why not? The teacher is going to be puzzled that work she does at school is different to work she does at home. She needs to be responsible for her own proof reading!

These strategies help us:
(1) Homework timetable is all very well but it tells you what day the homework is set rather than when it is due in. We have a timetable with the sessions after the homework is set highlighted (e.g. maths homework set in on Monday so due in on Wednesday). That means I know that Tuesday night is the day to prompt about whether maths is done or not. We have less of a problem with getting homework done and more of a problem with DS remembering to take it in, so this helps with that too.

(2) When DS is on computer / watching TV, etc. I ask him what time he intends to start his homework and hold him to that. This is more productive than 'Stop that and do your homework'. This causes him to think about what he has to do and how much time it is going to take. He usually suggests a sensible time to start and I make sure to remind him then: 'It's 5.30 now and you said you were going to start your homework.'

I don't think there's anything wrong with checking homework as they can learn from mistakes just as well from a parent as they can from the teachers, as long as the parent doesn't just correct the work rather than getting the child to improve it.

DS gets 'expected effort, expected outcome" for most of his Y7 homeworks. He had been tending to do the minimum required. At parents evening I was told that they could tell from his classwork discussion that he knows a lot more than he ever writes down and he could be getting excellent effort/outcome.
So since then, when he has a homework, we go through it together first. He tells me the way he would tackle it, and then I explain how I think he could do it better. He has issues here that being autistic he will do exactly what he is told to do.
e.g. if he was told to write how a natural disaster affected an area he would just write a few lines about what the effects were. I would explain that what the teacher really means is write a couple of lines about what natural disasters are, write a couple of lines about which natural disaster you are going to talk about and then write the effects. As a bullet point list of affects without even naming the disaster isn't much use to the reader.
Then I leave him to it, but remind him he is looking for 30mins work - probably 10mins research and 20mins writing.

@Curlew - what can I say? If you'd be happy signing off work with missing full stops and speech marks and saying the teacher can do it then I guess that's up to you. Furthermore, if those said full stops, comma's and closed speech marks makes her standard of work 'different' to what the teacher expected, then I'd say sack the teacher.

@Littlemissgreen. Love, love, love that outline. For essay's if dd's mind is a bit blank, I'll remind her of top, middle and bottom. Top - set the scene, middle - what happened, bottom - how did it conclude/end.

I will definitely not leave her with her head in the skies, her mind in a pickle and say, well that's the teachers issue or, let the teacher teach you. For further inspiration I will share what has worked for me in the past. dd is a top student in every subject (but art), so I certainly have zero intention of stopping what's clearly working. Nonetheless, I say all that to say we all have different parenting styles. It's the beauty of the world we're living in.

But I wouldn't be signing off work. I'm not her boss! I'm signing to say it has been done, not that it has been done to my satisfaction.

One of the purposes of homework is for teachers to see how kids can manage independently- what's the point of a teacher marking it if it's already been marked? And the teacher will have no idea if the child has understood it or is really for harder work if it's been micromanaged by a parent!

And why should the teacher be sacked?

@curlew - so our signatures mean two different things. Independently dd not doing too bad either as she's always first in exams or at the very least in the top three. As time has gone by she has needed less and less of my input too. Whatever label you want to give it therefore, be it micromanage or otherwise, it's working.

lurking for ideas. My DS has had three detentions this term for incomplete, forgotten, or poor quality homework. It has always been a falshpoint since early days of primary school (summer born boy just not ready for school) and is now painful to the point that if I could move into the garden shed I would.

DS says he is going to homework club, but we suspect he is fannying around on the computers and not actually doing anything. his school do have a bunch of sixth formers who help out and he seems to have tamed one for his own personal use!

We've talked to the school about the angst homework causes him and their response was to ease off and let him fail, secure ion the knowledge that he will wake up to it in due course. I am not entirely sure about this approach; I know my DS. However we've agreed to go along with this, but are keeping an eye and hoping that the school are too. They think it's more of a summer born thing than any real cause for concern.

The irritating thing is that he is bright as a button. He will spend hours researching and after a six week project on volcanoes, can tell me everything I ever needed to know about volcanoes and Mt St Helens, yet his written work (until we cajoled him into doing more) was two limp pages with no diagrams or anything.

I am swiftly running out of ideas.

Goodking have you tried the forward approach as opposed to taking something away if he doesn't do it? By that I mean, knowing about something he really, really wants and saying to him, if you achieve X I'll get you Y (aka Bribery, but hey no shame on my game)?

You could suggest something along the lines of, if you get an eight out of ten for your next piece of science work I'l get you that game, or whatever. Shower with loads and loads of praise if achieved and even if you see him work just that little bit harder but still not achieve it, you could give him a slightly lesser gift but reward nonetheless, letting him know of course, it's because he tried so very hard.

Harping on about him not doing it is clearly achieving bugger all, so worth giving it a try. I swear by it because kids are often secretly so eager to please.