Saturday detention and inflexible school.

[Rainbow]

My DS2 is in Y8 and the school policy is, if they get 5 detentions for not doing homework, they get a Saturday detention. I don't agree with it but it is school policy and I agreed to work with the school for the duration of my child's time with them. DS2 got his 5 detentions and was told on Wednesday(2/10), that he had detention on the Saturday (5/10). As a Cub Scout Leader, I had made arrangements to go to District camp with all the beavers, cubs and scouts from our district. DS1 is a beaver leader DS2 and DS3 are scouts, DS4 is too young but had not choice and my parents and my sis are also leaders with beavers and scouts and so they came too. There was not at home who could look after DS2. I explained to the school that this was the case and after numerous suggestions along the lines of put him on 3 trains and a bus (total journey time 2 hrs 40 mins) it was agreed to postpone the detention to the following week. I got on the coach with all the other leaders and children on the Friday and returned by coach on the Sunday. I then discovered, that DS2's detention had been extended by 1 hour because he could not make the previous Saturday. School seems to be steadfast in their decision and insist on punishing DS2 for my commitment. He did get a couple of Saturday detentions last ear and one was changed as my cousin was getting married but the other 2 we bend over backwards to get him there, even picking up my cubs and taking them to their event before collecting DS2 from camp only to find that the member of staff who was taking the detention had not turned up! Working together is a 2 way street or at least I thought it was!

[TapTapBangBang]

Aarrgghhh they HAVE been flexible, they delayed it a week I'm really not sure what more you can ask for?!

You really are coming across badly, he needs punishing. Why are you quibbling over an extra hour punishment. He deserves the punishment. He has to understand things have consequences!

[Oblomov]

Get your son to go his homework. Homework seems to be last on his list. And yours. Why is he not doing his homework? And why aren't you checking that he is?

[Rainbow]

They postponed because I said I was not putting a 12 year old on three trains and a bus for 2 hours and 40 minutes and if the continued to insist that I did I would take the matter to the LEA.

[NeverKnowinglyUnderstood]

Rainbow..
just a quick question.
What were you wanting from this thread?

[ivykaty44]

so let me get this straight

he went to school for a detention last year and the teacher failed to show up for the actual detention? So he didn't do any of that particular detention and got off scot free?

So this extra hour you could look on as that one he missed last year

or hope that there is a repeat of a no show by the teacher and he doesn't get this saturday detention.

I would suggest to the school that the punishment of a detention ona saturday is clearly not working as either to stop your son misbehaving or for the teachers as they don't show up and possibly could they look at another avenue of punishment with you that would deter your dc from misbehaving

[RussiansOnTheSpree]

Rainbow I think the point you are missing is that you should have not gone on the scout trip. You gave completely the wrong message to your sons. It's clear where your priorities lie - with a silly hobby, not with your kids' education.

[NoComet]

I've always wondered what schools can actually do if DCs don't turn up for Saturday or after school detentions.

Fortunately my DDs mostly keep out of trouble, but we live in the middle of no where, no public transport, so I'm certain plenty of DCs have no way home and just don't turn up.

[TapTapBangBang]

Yes whatever they still postponed!

Come on now. I'd expect a better attitude from a scout leader to be honest, yours sucks.

He likes scouts, he likes his computer. Right they're now gone. No scouts or computer unless his homework is completed to the satisfaction of the teachers. Does he have a homework diary?

[ivykaty44]

RussiansOnTheSpree that is so rude to call hours and hours of volunteering a silly hobby, did you mean to be so mean and nasty?

[NoComet]

Scouting is not a silly hobby and Schools do not own Parents or siblings free time.

Out of hours detentions are IMO very very dodgy.

[RussiansOnTheSpree]

Ivy It is silly if it's stopping a 12 year old from doing their homework. It is silly if its stopping a parent from actually doing the job of a parent. The OP clearly prioritises scouting above her son's homework. I think silly is quite a mild description in these specific circumstances actually. Do you think she has behaved reasonably?

[englishteacher78]

Parents know the school has this policy and you agree to the school's policy when you send your child to the school.
Our school only uses Saturday detentions for extreme behaviour (or ongoing behavioural issues). They are detentions with the headmaster and they are a BIG DEAL. They are not rearranged for sports fixtures but the date is agreed in consultation with the parents.
I think the sitting doing nothing for a detention for not doing homework is pathetic though. They should be doing the work they haven't done.

[morethanpotatoprints]

OMG, my dcs didn't do homework, we refused to sign the agreement and would never have agreed to saturday detentions as far too busy.
Tell them to stuff it, what are they going to do?
Some schools think they own kids.

[NoComet]

Also I used to do Brownies I couldn't have messed about 24 lovely girls for something like this.

Yes undone HW needs to be tackled, but in still maintain schools can only ask for children to attend outside normal hours. They can not demand.

No way, for example, should well behaved siblings miss their Sat activities because another DC has not done their HW.

[RussiansOnTheSpree]

starball I would ordinarily agree with you about out of hours detentions. But in this case the situation is clearly extreme. 15 homeworks missed in little over a year??? That's really serious. The OP appears to be completely unsupportive of the school, and her son. He commitment to scouting seems more important to her than the fact that her son has clearly serious issues. :(

[HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel]

Maybe time to drop the scouts stuff and concentrate your attention on your DS for the time being ?

I sound flip I know but I have recently had to admit that the voluntary role I was undertaking was simply putting too much strain on my family with an already packed schedule and have therefore taken a massive step back, with excellent results at home.

[SirChenjin]

I don't think Scouting is a silly hobby at all - I think it's a fantastic activity to be involved with that can give you skills, opportunities and confidence which go with you throughout your life.

That being said, I think the school have been flexible by postponing the detention. Does he have a homework jotter which sets out what homework he has for the week? If so, then I would suggest transferring that to a calendar, getting him to show you what he's done, and marking it off as he's completed it.

I would also suggest that you request he is put on report, so that you can see exactly what progress he's making in class and what his attitude to school is like. A bad report one week = no Scouts the next.

[FunkyBoldRibena]

I suspect the reason he isn't doing his homework is because he can get away with it with you as you don't understand it and haven't got time to make sure he does it/check that he has done it.

Time for you to give some attention to your DS it would seem.

[Sirzy]

I am a youth leader (not for scouts) and given the impact on the rest of family would have asked for this one to be rearranged.

But beyond that I would be using scouts or something else he loves as a bribe/punishment. Over the years I have had many young people who have missed things because they haven't done their homework or whatever - strangely it is only ever an issue or a few weeks!

[Thants]

Wow Saturday detentions! That's crazy. I would not let him go. School is Monday to Friday. The school should not be ruining families weekends and it must he very costly opening the school for no reason on weekends!
Clearly detentions don't get through to kids so they should try something new!

[IslaValargeone]

"Some schools think they own kids?" Really!
Consolidating work done at school and encouraging some degree of self discipline personal and responsibility is owning kids?

[englishteacher78]

A number of people here seem to think that teachers enjoy giving up their time to detain students. We don't do it for the sake of it. There have to be consequences.
I got into trouble for not doing homework (not a detention, it just got mentioned and I was given the chance to do it at lunchtime). As a result, my parents asked that I be removed from the school opera that year to reduce my extra-curricular demands. I wasn't allowed into a school production until my attitude to homework changed. This was my parents' decision. They supported the school.

[IslaValargeone]

*personal responsibility

[Floggingmolly]

Detentions are not supposed to be taken at your convenience. They're supposed to work as a deterrent, and it sounds like this one has achieved its objective. He won't do it again.

[Thants]

Floggingmolly he probably will do it again because it clearly disrupts the parents and siblings more than the child them self and that unfair!
There are ways of encouraging homework that don't mean kids are at school 6 days a week!