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Secondary education

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Original poster

Who can afford private schools in the UK?

999 replies

wjchoihk · 12/02/2013 17:18

Hi. I am not sure if this is an appropriate question to ask here. But I have always wondered how rich you should be to send children to private schools in UK. Fees are anywhere from 3000 up to 10000 per term. Even allowing for wide gaps in income, thinking of 'avearge' UK wage of 26,000 pound, math simply don't add up for a normal life with such high fees. I also know only 7% of children go private though.

How much of private parents live on "inherited" wealth and how much on simply superior current earnings? I have my kids at SW London privates but I wouldn't be able to afford this without current int'l expat package. Some parents at my kids' schools LOOK and ARE very very rich but most of them LOOK quite down to earth. But I can't ask....

OP posts:
MonkeySea · 13/02/2013 13:52

The best tennis school is (of course) a private school - Reeds. Tim Henman went there, following on from the Dragon School.

maisiejoe123 · 13/02/2013 13:53

Shagmund - I dont agree that private buys you the best jobs etc because it then assumes that all private schools are better than all state schools and that all the kids going to them are going to achieve more because their parents have 'brought' this benefit.

Perhaps what we need to do is look at is WHY private schools send more children to the Russell Group uni's and why there is a perception that pupils do better. When I was at school only 5% of pupils went to univ, now its 50% and tbh there are universities and universities just like there are schools and schools.

I am happy with the disipline in my son's schools. When they started we signed to say that we agreed to the rules and the punishments should they be broken. My DS has done his fair share of litter picking around the school!
I wouldnt dream of storming into the school and demanding that he be let off because it was beneath him. My DM when she was teaching was hit by an irate parent when she removed a child shouting and swearing at another child to the HM. Parent took offence.

No mobiles in class. A mobile that goes off will be taken away for 1 week and the pupil will not be allowed to go home at the weekend. Harsh maybe but why do you need a mobile in the classroom?

Uniform is strict

Not handing in homework on time has various levels of punishments all carried out.

So, maybe we need to follow what private schools are doing in some areas and try and copy some of the things they do well. Starting with disipline which will cost a school nothing at all to implement.

seeker · 13/02/2013 13:53

I am constantly amazed , BS at your ability to to get very exercised by, and respond to, points that have never been made, and attitudes that no one has shown. It's a bit like Lakeland. They invent a domestic problem you didn't realize you had, then sell you the solutions!

seeker · 13/02/2013 13:54

Is that a private school or a state school, maisieJoe? I can't tell from your description.....

lopsided · 13/02/2013 14:00

Succubi
I answered it upthread as to why we couldn't. I was not chippy or anti. Then a couple posts after someone says 'my friend says they can't afford it but they have iPhones and iPods' etc. It's wearing for me too.

maisiejoe123 · 13/02/2013 14:00

My sons go to private schools. The disipline is one of the things most important to me. Boys need to know the boundaries and from speaking to friends in the state system - in a number of cases there seems to be little. One friend is now moving house to release some equity to move from state to private as their DD's lessons are constantly interuppted by ringing mobiles and the sharing of porn around the class.

TotallyBS · 13/02/2013 14:00

seeker - I was addressing shagmund's post from about 20min ago. Feel free to skim posts but it makes you kind of look foolish when you accuse others of arguing points that haven't been made upthread.

TotallyBS · 13/02/2013 14:05

MonkeySea - it may be the 'best' but how many World Top 10 players has it produced apart from Henman. And how many Glam Slam champions did he win?

Succubi · 13/02/2013 14:07

lopsided every now and then I find a response that answers the OP's question. Sorry if I missed yours.

I think it is an interesting question and I am intrigued to see how others have (or have not) had to adapt to accomodate a private education.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 13/02/2013 14:10

I think all the 'anti private school brigade' have done on this thread is point to the logical flaws in lines like 'it's just a question of priorities'; 'you do what you have to do'; 'I don't want my child to go through what I did thirty years ago' etc. I can't recall any post slating private schools in the last 9 pages - though a fair few slagging off state schools (well, state schools 20 or 30 years ago, which, let us remember is another thing). As per.

Nobody's saying all parents who pay for schools are rich, exactly, but sometimes such parents do lay themselves open to the charge of not really having any concept of what real life is like for most people, when they make statements about 'priorities' and 'sacrifice'.

INeedALieIn · 13/02/2013 14:11

In our area, day fees are around £9k per child for senior school. Fees are afforded by a variety of methods as already discussed. But at that level, to answer the op initial question, 2 child families with jobs in a profession such as law, accountancy, medicine, can afford fees.

To say that people in this scenario cannot afford fees is not true, it is down to priorities however People may not like to be told this.

In hind sight, such families may not be able to afford the fees due to choices made which haven't worked out so well, given their chance again they may prefer to reprioitise. (Commit to less expensive property, save more pre children, go back to work earlier, retrain/try harder at school). Or they may be happy to choose state over private.

People on lower incomes can generally only afford fees with additional assistance.

seeker · 13/02/2013 14:13

" One friend is now moving house to release some equity to move from state to private as their DD's lessons are constantly interuppted by ringing mobiles and the sharing of porn around the class."
Yeah, right, of course they are. And this is what happens in all state schools- the only answer is going private!

outtolunchagain · 13/02/2013 14:16

I always amazes me how the most prolific posters on these threads are never the people who actually have children in independent schools .Why do people who don't pay school fees feel they are the best people to comment on the question "how do people afford private education"

INeedALieIn · 13/02/2013 14:17

Personally, we pay by having fewer extra nice to haves in life. (Holidays, eating out, new clothes).

Friends in our circle who have chosen state have more of those things. If they mive to private they say they will havevto reduce this expenditure in order to cut their cloth.

I realise this is not an option for everybody, however this is my experience.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 13/02/2013 14:19

If anything, outtolunch, those people might be slightly better placed to observe that 'making sacrifices' and 'deciding priorities' is not the realistic option for most families that some posters make it out to be, surely?

seeker · 13/02/2013 14:20

bS- I think you might just have "skim-read" Shagmund's post. She was not complaining about super duper high ability people getting all the top jobs etc. she was complaining about them getting the top jobs etc because of the schools they went to.

If you genuinely think that the current Cabinet, for example, are there entirely because of their huge ability and stellar intelligence, then please allow me to sell you this vial of genuine snake oil I happen to have about my person. To anyone else, £1000, but because I know you've got school fees to pay, to you only £500.

grovel · 13/02/2013 14:20

nit, that was my thought too.

maisiejoe123 · 13/02/2013 14:21

I sometimes think that some people on this forum think that if you can afford school fees you can afford ANY school fees ie putting VAT on the fees themselves!

Someone said earlier that people who pay for private education dont live in the real world. I would argue that we absolutely do! We know how much it costs, what we need to do to fund it (and sometimes it isnt possible for all sorts of reasons).

My parents both worked. Its what they did - DM was a teacher so it made things easier during school hols and they were firm Labour supporters. Every election and during by elections a poster was put in the front room to ensure that everyone knew they were Labour voters! My mother still votes labour as she says they are for the working classes. Well that's my DH and myself - we are the working class as in we both work.

Unless the view is that you are working class until you start to earn £xxx...

TotallyBS · 13/02/2013 14:22

pugs RE starting a thread about state schools, how about the following titles?

Why do you think that moving to a expensive area with outstanding state school is not you buyingu a better education for your child?

Or

Why is it bad for a parent to bale from a bad state school to go private but its not bad to bale and move to a MC state school elsewhere. Either way, the net effect on the children at the bad school are the same.

Or

AIBU to think that sending your DCs to the predominantly white MC village state school isn't you giving a more diverse schooling for your children.

To paraphrase Keven Costner, post it and they will come... Or not. Most indie parents don't feel a need to get people to justify why they choose state so chances are you'll just get the anti-Indy crowd posting.

Succubi · 13/02/2013 14:22

outtolunchagain I couldn't agree with you more.

TheOriginalSteamingNit the point I was trying to make is that I genuinely have an intrestest in the OP's question as I will be privately educating two boys. It is simply wearing when threads like this get derailed.

outtolunchagain · 13/02/2013 14:24

Not saying they don't have a view ,but most of the posters who have children at independent schools recognise that not everyone can do it but that above a certain level of income then it is about priorities .But the most prolific are never those who are actually doing it

maisiejoe123 · 13/02/2013 14:24

Seeker - I know you dont like private schools and seem to have a chip on your shoulder about people who choose this route. Why??

Our friends have chosen to do this because THIS state school has failed their children, they fortunately have the option to move so why not! Its not all state schools...

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 13/02/2013 14:25

Totally - sigh.... where does your assumption come from that everybody who uses and approves of state education did either of those things?

Anyway, there was that AIBU a while back about 'sending to a comprehensive is an exit from the middle class', remember? It's certainly not all one-sided.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 13/02/2013 14:27

Outto and Succubi - I kind of agree, and the posters earlier who honestly and factually said 'I think you need to be earning about this much' or 'we earn this much and it just about works if we scrimp' - well, I might not like their choices, but I acknowledge their honesty and realism.

However, I'd argue that the real hijacking comes with the posts about priorities etc, which I do think need to be challenged.

seeker · 13/02/2013 14:28

Succcubi- I honestly think this is the wrong thread for you. If you look at the OP you will see that it was drafted in such a way as to stimulate discussion, rather than practical qdvice.

Ther is plenty of that sort of advice on here if you search. Or start your own thread in the independent schools section. In th meantime, dive into the "heated debate"!