Who can afford private schools in the UK?

[wjchoihk]

Hi. I am not sure if this is an appropriate question to ask here. But I have always wondered how rich you should be to send children to private schools in UK. Fees are anywhere from 3000 up to 10000 per term. Even allowing for wide gaps in income, thinking of 'avearge' UK wage of 26,000 pound, math simply don't add up for a normal life with such high fees. I also know only 7% of children go private though.

How much of private parents live on "inherited" wealth and how much on simply superior current earnings? I have my kids at SW London privates but I wouldn't be able to afford this without current int'l expat package. Some parents at my kids' schools LOOK and ARE very very rich but most of them LOOK quite down to earth. But I can't ask....

Blueberry - the op asked what kind of salary was required in order to finance private schooling. I played the ball and outlined what I thought was a bare minimum salary for private schooling. Seeker decided to play the man and started going on about how it was insensitive to poor people to describe long haul holidays as a 'sacrifice'.

And you accuse me of playing the man and not the ball

It is insensitive to describe not going on long haul holidays as a ""sacrifice"!

TOSN, you're right, I should.

I must be a flip flop debated because I'm moving to the other side of the chamber now - I DONT see it as insensitive on a private schools, how much do you pay, type thread to call going without long haul holidays a sacrifice. It might be an unnecessarily strong word - forgo- might be better, for instance. But this is not a thread talking about people needed food parcels or getting their gas cut off - its a different kettle of fish entirely.

After some posts by TotallyBS and others outlining their opinions on the minimum amounts required I for one have had a total re-think about the whole situation. It may be possible for us! I am happy to forgo long haul holidays etc, and take those comments in the spirit they were meant!

Well put BeckAndCall !

It's not insensitive to say 'we would otherwise, and used to when dc were smaller, go on long haul holidays, but we've put them on ice for now and find the difference works just about ok to fund fees'.

It is insensitive (or insensible, perhaps - or obtuse) to extrapolate that more broadly into a way in which most people could afford fees.

If you have two children and you know you spend £30K a year on holidays, I'd guess you already know you could afford fees if you stopped doing that.

seeker - if the op was a single mom asking for advice on stretching her benefit money then I agree my comment would be insensitive. But this is a thread about private school fees ffs.

By your logic, we should never complain about our parents or DPs because it is insensitive to people who have lost someone. And we shouldn't discuss which unis our DCs are going to because it is insensitive to people who didn't get a place.

Where does this sensitivity thing start and end seeker. Please, please give me your guidelines on what acceptable to you so that I can avoid your disapproval in future posts.

Blueberry THIS is what it looks like when I'm being insincere.

116 posts left on this thread.

morethan your thinking of a specialist school for your DD aren't you? In that case I definitely wouldn't worry about fitting in. I think we as parents need to be realistic at a non specialist boarding school there is alway going to be a tiny minority who look down their noses at you in your little car but in my very extensive experience the vast majority of parents and children don't give a toss.
One mum at our old prep on clocking a mink coat clad dripping in diamonds Bentley driving parent said "Ugh new money" (wince)!
higgle your comment "The thing you have to remember with all the theatrs and courts and astroturf etc etc. is that your one child can't use them all and may very well enjoy doing the normal teenage stuff far more." This is of course true but if they're not there they'll never use or experience them! I'm always amazed by how many children do use the facilities available. Mind you these are boarding schools Im talking about so they're more likely to use them.

Frankly, I can't understand why we are having this debate .

Prep cost on average £10k pa, secondary £15k. £1k to £2k on extras. Take that away from your net income. Can you live off the remainder. If answer is no then you can't afford private. Simple

Thanks happy and others for your help, it is very valuable and I will stop worrying now. I have pm a poster here whom I found by accident whose dd is at the school and she confirms what you have said.
I don't think anybody need worry about me and a mink coat and Bentley. I prefer the old jags myself. Not that I'll ever own one. I do have a silver plated flying lady though, thought of buying my sisters and turning them into jewellery lol.

Hard to tell really

Still no happily ever after I see!

You know, the more I hear the debate the more I have realised something. If your DC is truly top 5% academically, musically or in sport & you earn 10k per year, you stand a good chance of getting a fair bursary because your child is wanted as an example of excellence to be a role model for all the average fee paying rich kids. However, if your DC is top 5% & you are middle income you will be expected to make sacrifices for your child to attend.
So it seems to me the squeezed middle is at work yet again. Even a good 10% scholarship like my DD has just been awarded only helps a very small amount! So to afford private schooling I have decided you either need to be very rich, or have a top 5% child & be very poor. For everyone else it's a struggle!

In answer to the poster who asked about children feeling left out/jealous when the rich kids get to go on the school ski trip & they don't? DD took this very well when it happened to her this year & was able to see that the money could be better spent on something for the whole family! She seems to know the sacrifices & know how lucky she is which makes me all the more proud.

vienna - I see that you have learnt a lot from your short time here. I mean, you had the sense to use 'forgo' instead of 'sacrifice' :)

We should be able to be brave enough to talk about these fees without others stating it is insensistive as people on benefits will get upset!

Otherwise how are we going to share experiences and our fears that maybe the housing bubble will burst and equity will be lost, or that one of us could lose their job, or worst of all - that a relationship breaks down. The school fees become unaffordable!

As I have stated before - without inherited/lottery money, to gain the higher salaries you need to live in the SE, you need to limit your family, you need to have an excellent choice in men (!!) you need to have paid off a chunk of your mortgage or rent cheaply (not really possible in the SE I know!). You also need to assume that both of you are working unless your DH is an investment banking.

Make unwise choices, have your dream of 4+ children, decide to work part time, live where there are few roles - all Ok - up to you but dont really expect to be able to afford the school fees.

did pugs just use the word 'sacrifice'? Run pugs, run!

Ha! TotallyBS I wrote 'forgo' without thinking about it. I am obviously a natural people pleaser although MN doesn't favour fence sitters

I agree with the squeezed middle. Yes, the very rich and the very poor do very well with the current system. I am in the middle and there are plenty of things I could do with the school fees but tbh - better than a flashy car in the drive way. For us it has been about giving them the best education we can and recognising that they werent necessarily grammar school pupils (although I think my 2nd DS would have done Ok on reflection).

If he had passed the 11+ I would have one at a private boarding school and one at the local grammar...

35 kids went on the ski trip. It was open to everyone year 8 upwards bar 6th form so hundreds didnt go.

Sure some of DCs friends go away 2-3 times a year while we either stay home or visit relatives. No one ever make a big deal about it.

Vienna - well, it seem to have passed unnoticed :)

...because no one is praising you for your sensitivity.

I fear I may be a little 'bland' for MN.

Glad we've got back to the original OP.

To reiterate: it is reasonably straightforward. How much per month are the fees? £900? Do you have £900 spare a month after paying all your living expenses? If not could you forgo holidays, changes of car, nicer clothes and get a bit closer to the £900? Do you have some means of backing up this decision if you lose some of your income temporarily? (And, yes, you can take out redundancy/sickness cover as someone asked upthread). Maybe grandparents to help a little.

Or: you don't have the spare monthly income...but you might have a lot of equity in your house...as, especially if we're discussing senior fees - for an 11 year old - you might have owned your house 15+ years? So could you release £50-60K of equity or downsize?

If either of those scenarios apply to you and you have ONE CHILD you might be able to afford private.

(Ds's fees are £11.5k per annum, includes lunches and books. One 'extra' of a trip at £80 in first two terms - we earn about £2,700 pm net. We can afford fees. We haven't been abroad for 17 years....Last time I'm repeating those figures!!!)

I am wondering why some people cannot work it out tbh. Bit worrying really.

1. What are the school fees?

1. What are your outgoings?

1. What are essentials and what can be cut back if anything.

What would happen if one of you lost their job. Dont frighten yourself to death over this one!