Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Who can afford private schools in the UK?

999 replies

wjchoihk · 12/02/2013 17:18

Hi. I am not sure if this is an appropriate question to ask here. But I have always wondered how rich you should be to send children to private schools in UK. Fees are anywhere from 3000 up to 10000 per term. Even allowing for wide gaps in income, thinking of 'avearge' UK wage of 26,000 pound, math simply don't add up for a normal life with such high fees. I also know only 7% of children go private though.

How much of private parents live on "inherited" wealth and how much on simply superior current earnings? I have my kids at SW London privates but I wouldn't be able to afford this without current int'l expat package. Some parents at my kids' schools LOOK and ARE very very rich but most of them LOOK quite down to earth. But I can't ask....

OP posts:
maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 19:29

So, I am confused. How can you believe in grammar schools (which pick purely on ability and leave the rest behind) and disagree with private education?

If Seeker won the lottery would she buy a private eduction for her son who didnt pass the 11+? That is what lots around here are doing. They dont want to pay for private education but if their child doesn pass the 11+ they will. Its their Plan B.

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 19:32

Seeker, so you are 'forced' to stay where you are, your DD passed the 11+ and you 'allowed' her to go to a grammar school despite your anti grammar views.....

happygardening · 14/02/2013 19:35

Russian Im still waiting for your actual real examples of nepotism on top independent schools! I am actually surprising open minded too many years spent in scientific research in another life and am prepared to adjust and change my opinions when real genuine evidence is provided.

seeker · 14/02/2013 19:39

Oh, and all the stuff about choirs and orchestras came up when I posted a very bitter and angry rant about how the high school and the grammar school are perceived in the town- the grammar school gets a carol service in the church and all the town dignitaries- the high school gets a few carols in the hall- the perception being that that is good enough for them, it's all they deserve, while the children the town is really proud of get the glory. I'm not sure how this was interpreted as meaning I despise working class people, but it was!

pugsandseals · 14/02/2013 19:39

So Seeker is totally pro the state system, but has never experienced a real state system with no grammar stream Hmm
That's just laughable that she thinks she can comment on the state of education for the majority of people without access to grammar school!

seeker · 14/02/2013 19:41

Pugsandseals" and Maisie. Please do me the courtesy of reading my posts.

nerfgunsftw · 14/02/2013 19:42

just some more data.
In the north east you can afford private school for 1 child comfortably if you have two parents working on teacher wage.

It means living in a cheaper house but there are plenty of cheap houses up here.
No grammar schools though so we are committed to keeping her in the school till 18.

pugsandseals · 14/02/2013 19:44

Your current experience of the state system is in an 11+ grammar area is it not? No wonder you don't understand the real purpose of private schools!!!

Succubi · 14/02/2013 19:49

The fact remains that private schools are here to stay as long as there is a demand for them. People who object can so until they are blue in the face but their comments/observations (meritorious or otherwise) will not deter people like me who want a private option.

I do accept that a private education can buy a head start, can be divisive and is open to a small minority. I'm afraid life is inherently unfair. Like all parents on this forum we do what is best for our children within our means

I also accept that not all parents who can afford a private education want one for their children.

JenaiMorris · 14/02/2013 19:49

Good grief, why are people laying into seeker?

This is getting ridiculous.

JenaiMorris · 14/02/2013 19:50

So pugs pray tell, just what is the purpose of private schools?

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 19:54

Seeker - I am staggered at your views. You are anti grammer yet you allow one of your children to go to one! TBH - I dont blame you. We all want what we think is best for our children. I can afford private for the boys. What I wont do though is bash private education and then use it myself!! But to then say you are 'forced' to stay where you are. Maybe that is the case. However you didnt need to take up the grammar school place for your daughter.

I am sure thinking about this - if your DS passed the 11+ and got into the grammar (even though you dont believe in them!) you would have grabbed the opportunity. I would have but how can you possibly be anti grammar and send one of your children to one..

I am sorry - I just dont understand....

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 19:57

The reason is Jena -Seeker is anti grammar yet lets one of her children go to one. If her second child passed the 11+ she would have put him in one too (despite not believing in them!).

pugsandseals · 14/02/2013 19:58

Private schools are the grammar schools in our area. Generous bursaries & scholarships are given to the best performers in the entrance tests, those with money & kids of average intelligence make up the rest! Simple

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 20:00

On a competely separte subject. I have seen the most famous private schools falling over themselves to get someone with influence in. I dont mean someone who can afford the fees - I mean David Beckham type influence (but not David if you know what I mean!!). Dont want to out myself...

JenaiMorris · 14/02/2013 20:00

ffs. I dislike grammars (thankfully, like most people I don't live in a grammar area) and I dislike the fact that people can buy their children's success through the private sector.

However if I did live in a grammar area and ds was that way inclined back when he was 10 then of course I'd have sent him if the alternative suited him less. Likewise if the local private schools were more affordable to us and I thought they'd suit ds far better than the state schools available to us, I'd send him to one.

Is that really so difficult to understand maisie?

JenaiMorris · 14/02/2013 20:02

Well yes it stands to reason that any school would want to attract children whose parents are exceptionally talented and who'd be able to wield exceptional influence. Just like any school would want to attract very, very clever children regardless of their background (hence full bursaries).

What school wouldn't?

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 20:04

Yes it is diffciult to understand. How can you dislike something and then use it for your own ends. If I didnt believe in private education I definitely wouldnt use it. It makes me sound silly to say I dont believe in something and do the complete opposite.

I think like the Diane Abbott's of this world. There are your beliefs and then there are the things you do for your children.

But please dont come on here saying you dislike something and then use it yourself. How odd is that.

Or maybe its just me!

JenaiMorris · 14/02/2013 20:08

It's not odd at all. I totally understood Diane Abbott's position.

Look at it this way; my son's main interest is a fairly expensive one. A lot of families couldn't afford to pursue it. It's not fair that a lot of families couldn't afford to pursue it but I'm not about to pull the plug on him being able to enjoy it because of that.

Call me amoral by all means.

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 20:10

So, whose father was who and whether they attended Eton and suchlike has long gone. Eton is becoming more academic. I personally think it is losing its way and going for academic achievement above everything else but its nothing to do with me. Maybe next year they will choose pupils whose fathers went there - who knows. However in private education there are new buyers. People who have no expereince of the private system (i.e me!) However having been in it for over 12 years I feel I know my way around it. Some on this thread think that you just need to trust the state system or if it is wrong change it in some way.

Well sadly working full time I dont have time to change the whole of the education system. That is for others. All I can do now is make what I consider to be the best decisions.

What I absolutely wont do is critize the private system and then use it myself. I believe in choice and this is my choice.

TotallyBS · 14/02/2013 20:11

Jenai - seeker has a tendency to adopt a holier than thou attitude and lecture parents for choosing a selective education for their DCs.

Well, I don't care to be lectured to by someone who has put one DC into a selective and constantly complains about how her other DC didn't get in.

Marni23 · 14/02/2013 20:11

Well no, I don't think that is so difficult to understand JenaiMorris. I think most people that bother to read the Education section of a forum want the best education they can get for their DC.

I was state educated. It was fine. Not brilliant, but fine.

If I could access a similar education for my DC I would. Believe me, paying the fees for independent schools is not easy.

But the schools local to us (London) are not fine. They're really not. So we do what we have to do (and are lucky enough to be able to afford to do) to access a decent education.

I'm not interested in how much they can earn afterwards, I'm really not.

What pisses me off about these threads is that people on either side of the debate won't acknowledge that we're all just doing the best we can for our DC. Seeker sent her DD to a Grammar school, even though she doesn't agree with them, because the alternative was worse. I send my DC to private schools because the alternative is worse.

You get extremes on either side. Most of us are just doing the best we can for our kids.

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 20:13

I dont understand Diane Abbot at all, preaching to others about the state system and then taking her OWN son out of it. When I was moving from junior to secondary school Shirley Williams was Education Sec. She had her own daughter and Godolphin School which was very selective and picky. So, what was good for the rest of us, sec modern etc was certainly not good enough for her darling daughter.

maisiejoe123 · 14/02/2013 20:19

Marni is right. We do the best we can for our children. My DS's wouldnt I believe have passed the 11+. I will never know. Realistically Seeker - I would love to live closer to my elderly mother and I know that my DH would like to live closer to his parents. But we dont. DH's parents live in the far SW and realistically we just wouldnt get the opportunies and salaries we get living in the SE. House prices are shocking. However we have benefitted in the equity we now have - but it wasnt always like that.

If you dont believe in something then for god's sake dont do it. Otherwise you just make yourself look foolish.

Its a little like not believing in plastic survey (I know bit odd!) and then admitting you have had work done....

JenaiMorris · 14/02/2013 20:25

Diane Abbott sent her children to private schools because the alternative, for her children, wasn't good enough. Yet.

I don't find that incompatible with wanting to create a society in which education is good enough for everyone.

Swipe left for the next trending thread