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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Rewards for results?

32 replies

TaggieCampbellBlack · 19/08/2012 12:05

Are you giving your DCs presents or rewards for good results?

I'm not sure what is expected. DD says she doesnt want anything but that seems a bit mean. In my day (400 years ago) it was £10 per pass.

OP posts:

Original poster

TaggieCampbellBlack · 19/08/2012 12:06

And i didn't even think sbout offering before the exams as an incentive/bribe.

OP posts:

yellowraincoat · 19/08/2012 12:12

I don't see the point. The reward is the good result.

Whatever you do, don't do what my parents did and give the lazy child (my brother) a reward and the hard-working(ish) (me) child nothing because the hard-working child "will work anyway".

Still bitter.

MyCatHasStaff · 19/08/2012 12:14

I have friends who have offered all kinds of complicated rewards - I've told DS that if he gets what he needs to take up the college place he's been offered for all the courses he's signed up for, he'll get a lump sum. He was happy with that, but I did offer it before he took his GCSE's.

WilfSell · 19/08/2012 12:16

Nope. And never will. They will never learn the intrinsic value of learning if it becomes too instrumental. Good results get a nice meal out somewhere with the whole family to celebrate.

I have however just started rewarding my 13yo for effort grades on his school report. 2.50 for a B and a fiver for an A. I've told him I don't care what results he gets (do really ) as long as I know he is putting the effort in...

Original poster

TaggieCampbellBlack · 19/08/2012 12:20

She is (mostly) lovely. Harworking, motivated etc. I've never had to nag her to do homework or revise (dd2 is a whole different story). She wants to di well and has to for her to do IB next year.
Maybe a token congratulations present.

OP posts:

BringBack1996 · 19/08/2012 13:09

DS is getting some books for next year (e.g. some that relate to the topics he'll be doing in history) as well as a lump sum for all of the hard work he's put in. IMO it's important to congratulate the DC on the work they've put in, and not the results they get.

iyatoda · 19/08/2012 16:50

Agree with yellowraincoat. The reward is the result. How do you even differentiate between hardwork and result? hardwork will always bring about result whether its an A*, A, B, C or what ever score.

MamaBear17 · 19/08/2012 19:24

I got a guinea pig when I passed my GCSEs!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 19/08/2012 19:29

I hate the idea of giving money/bribing in advance with money. DD1 did really well in her GCSEs last year and her 'reward' was a day out in London with me, and a nice (but cheap!) handbag - but that was something I chose to do for/give her, not something she was expecting.

She's just done well in her AS levels and her 'reward' will probably be a bottle of fizz and one of those Thorntons plaques you can get written on, as that is what her sister wants to get her. She won't get them until next week as she's currently away.

crazycarol · 19/08/2012 20:35

DD wouldn't discuss bribery rewards before her exams with me, however I knew that she worked really hard and got very good grades (Scotland - results out nearly 2 weeks ago!) so I decided to treat her by getting her the digital camera that she had her heart set on and was saving up for. She was thrilled with it.

However I have now been bribed persuaded to enter a contract with her if she gets all As next year I will buy her an iphone. (I think my money is safe though) but we will wait and see. Maybe I should start saving now.....

TalkinPeace2 · 19/08/2012 22:02

I got £12 for an A grade, £10 for a B and £8 for a C in 1980
with it I bought a watch - that I still have.

A levels I got £15 for an A £12 for a B and £10 for a C
still have the Parker fountain pen I bought.

ConstantlyCooking · 20/08/2012 15:17

I gave DS a present at the end of GCSEs as a reward for working hard and missing some outings when he was revising. I wanted to reward the effort which was the thing that he could control. If he gets good results then they should be the reward, but we might have a nice meal in the evening and will take him shopping to buy a suit for 6th form.

Jobforlife · 20/08/2012 16:03

We bribed my eldest DS for his GCSEs a few years ago... a BIG bribe, which could have cost us three figures.... Didn't make a jot of difference to his results IMHO as he got below par results.

Lesson learnt, we didn't offer any incentive for AS or A levels and he pulled off a fantastic set of results as his motivation was to get to his first choice Uni.

My DD will be taking her GCSEs next year and I will not offering incentives this time. When she gets her results, I'm sure we'll treat her in some way if we feel she put her maximum effort in, no matter what the results.

prettydaisies · 21/08/2012 15:35

My daughter told me that her friend's mum was giving her £25 per a star and £10 for each a grade. She looked at me and I said she could ask her friend's mum if she she would do the same for her, but I rather doubted it! She knew we wouldn't do that, however we did buy her a rather nice jacket that she wanted when she had finished her exams, to say well done for working so hard.

BackforGood · 22/08/2012 23:48

No, we won't be. Getting a good result (for you) is the reward, surely ?

If they've worked hard, then I would be bigging that up at the time, and maybe celebrating that at the end of the exams.

How would you justify some kind of payment per grade system if you had one child for whom academic exams came easily, and one for whom they didn't ?

happilyconfused · 23/08/2012 07:25

No!

VoldemortsNipple · 23/08/2012 10:14

DDs friend has updated her status with, woke up this morning to a new laptop. My mum is proud of me either way :o

I'm making DD a cake, and think I might take her to primark for a little spend :)

Jobforlife · 23/08/2012 12:01

My DD got her Spanish GCSE result this morning. She took it a year early, and got an A* after only studying it since year 8! I asked her what she would like as a treat and she said Lidl lemon cake and ice cream!! It doesn't take much to make her happy LOL

.... I pointed out to her that I'd been learning English for 47 years, and I very much doubted that I could get an A* in that

greyvix · 23/08/2012 13:00

I was brought up with the mantra: Success is its own reward. My DCs are gutted that I have stuck to that. You can see the jubilant and devastation on results day (I am a teacher), so an expensive gift (or losing out on one) would add insult to injury!
I like the cake idea though, and we have always gone out for a meal regardless of results.

InkyBinky · 23/08/2012 13:26

I have never given my DC's awards for exams although we may have had a treat for supper or something along those lines (regardless of results). I like them to work for themselves and not to do it to please me or because they are scared of what I might say if they do badly.
I stopped checking their homework when they were about 8/9 'ish.

TalkinPeace2 · 23/08/2012 18:00

PS
I was not told WHAT the rewards would be until after I had completed the exams
AND
each of us was expected to buy something long lasting with the money.

In my case 32 ans 30 years so far.

Jobforlife · 23/08/2012 18:02

Yes, I stopped checking homework around that age too.... for a start, half the subjects got beyond my capabilities anyway . I do still ask what homework/how much homework they have to do each day after school, but it's more to get them to plan their time if they have other social events they want to do. Both my DSs went through a stage where they told fibs and said they hadn't got any homework, but once they'd got bad marks or a few comments from teachers about late submissions or some such they got better. Interestingly, my DD has never been anything but conscientious with her work (although she has a less busy social life too!)
BTW, the cake and icecream went down a treat.... When Dad gets home this weekend we will also visit Mr Noodle - my daughter's favourite eatery

exoticfruits · 23/08/2012 18:20

I think that by that age they should be getting good results because they want them for their own future.
I listened to a girl this morning talking to her mother (she was younger) She said that x was getting £250 for A*, £200 an A and £100 for a B. If she had at least 8 subjects this was a lot of money. Mad!
We had a nice meal to celebrate. (she was telling her mother in such a way that showed she had no expectations-I have to say that the mother looked a sensible woman).

germyrabbit · 23/08/2012 18:25

blimey my son has gone into university and we only got him a card

MirandaWest · 23/08/2012 18:26

I never got anything. Think my granny gave me £1 for a good report once . Never expected anything either - think different people just do things differently.

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