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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Great wise MNers, what are the REAL pitfalls of year 7 - for a (PFB) child with AS?

131 replies

MrsS3 · 29/06/2012 00:43

We're doing the obvious stuff, uniform (done) numerous visits done and ongoing, form / tutor group with a few familiar faces (done) and photos of the teachers he'll need to remember.
However, I can't help but feel that it's like buying a cot and a pram for a new baby before realising you've not got a clue how to deal with it in reality and the actual practicalities are a whole lot different. Possibly a rubbish analogy but it makes sense to me Blush. I don't want to have got the kit and the book but entirely missed the bits that will really matter. Any tips?

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sphil · 03/07/2012 18:39

Oh blimey buttons - good idea to practise. DS regularly does them up wrong on the few occasions he wears clothes with them on. And he is still v e r y slow at changing for PE, which apparently will be an issue as a friend tells me they have very little time and a LOT of PE. Yikes.

Never thought I would utter these words, but thank the Lord we have a clip on tie...

DS has just finished filling in his induction booklet. Under 'What myths have you heard about secondary school?' he has written
' I have not herd of eneything'

Sigh

MrsS3 · 04/07/2012 00:29

ditto about the clip on tie[x2] (never thought I'd be heard saying that either...)
PE kits in duplicate Shock hadn't thought of that. Will get a spare set but the cheapskate ones off the market
We're on buttons already. It seems like an eternity, we've only been practicing since Easter [yawnnnn] On the plus side, we've almost decided which shirts we like - got one/two M&S, Asda, BHS [rolls eyes] [again] Well as we all know, of several identical white shirts, only one will be the right sort, won't it (until tomorrow when it could very well be different. when he decides for real, I might buy him a couple more!)

loving the comments, am Grin at lots of them as we apparently have cloned children... particularly "do thing" in notebook and Sphil, yes, the hood... Wink

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KitKatGirl1 · 04/07/2012 22:21

Lol; not quite cloned...luckily my ds does not have problems with sensitivity/preferences with clothing (except smart and tucked in, of course!) and am really hoping we don't need two lots of PE kit (at £250 for the first lot!!!!). He's never lost anything yet (she says!)

sphil · 04/07/2012 23:09

Well DS enjoyed his induction day, despite losing his water bottle. Apparently it fell out of his bag and down a stairwell 'and I couldn't stop and look for it because a huge wave of children was following me'. Luckily it was named and a very nice teacher gave it back to us at the evening meeting. I wonder whether they will be quite so nice and smiley after the 100th lost item...

Anyone recommend the best bag for carrying books that stops them ending up looking like they've been through the tumble drier? Not a briefcase, obviouslyGrin. He took a rucksack today ( which is what most of the boys seem to use) but the stuff he brought back looked like it had been trampled underfoot. Have had this problem with his primary school bookbag as well and would love some ideas of how to solve it.

MrsS3 · 05/07/2012 01:33

we have a cunning plan. There is some demand on ds, but it works for us - we give him a rucksack, and shorten one strap so he can't wear it on his back like a trainspotter. again hiker Wink Inside it is a zippy A4 plastic folder, heavy duty stuff (a little larger than A4, if I'm being pedantic) like this and we've had him using it since he was about 7 to put any books which have to travel in. this separates his books and papers from water bottle/lunch/coat/assorted "stuff". In Y6 we've needed two, so he has one for the books and stuff and a second smaller (A5) one for his notebook and any letters from school or signed slips from home to be given to the teacher. He knows if it's in that folder then he's got to give it to me or his class teacher. He hasn't got the art of folding neatly (and sometimes makes the letters from school into paper aeroplanes) but still. It mostly works.

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mynack · 05/07/2012 09:28

The dc's planner is a vital way of ensuring that no important messages get missed. Most schools expect parents to sign this every week. Also, there is probably a parents' zone on the school website where you can check up about dc's homework etc.

coppertop · 05/07/2012 09:47

Ds has a rucksack with two main pockets. He puts his lunch, and anything that might leak, into the back pocket. In the front one he keeps his planner, books, and two different folders. One folder is for any letters or worksheets that he is given at school. The other is where he keeps completed homework that isn't in an exercise book.

He originally had a system of only taking books that he needed for that day, but now prefers to lug the lot around each day. Hmm

Pritt sticks (or any glue sticks) have also turned out to be essential. The teachers give them all little printed squares of paper with the lesson's objectives/outcome on them and they are expected to glue them straight into their books, along with lots of worksheets. It's actually a godsend if you have a child who finds writing difficult. There's not as much to copy from the board.

Ds had problems with getting changed quickly after PE and was turning up late for the following lessons. It helped when he was given permission to change in another room. He's even been the first to get changed back into his uniform.

If PE kit has to go in a separate bag, find a way to attach it to the main bag if possible. It cuts down on the chances of PE bags being left under the table or in the library.

I've found that individual teachers have been really nice wrt returning lost property and helping with putting stuff into bags at the end of lessons. There have been several occasions when ds has told me how his maths teacher has helped him fit his things into his bag, or the history teacher has turned up at the geography lesson to give him the water bottle he'd left behind. :o

KitKatGirl1 · 05/07/2012 20:09

Bit baffled by the talk of not letting ds wear a rucksack like a rucksack??!! At the school I work in the boys (and maybe half the girls) all have normal rucksacks/backpacks not Adidas style bags...are they particularly square? (It is a grammar school).

ToryLovell · 05/07/2012 22:25

I think its that rucksacks on backs are not cool, whereas slung over one shoulder it is acceptable?

basildonbond · 05/07/2012 23:13

honestly, don't worry about your ds being cool - if he's got AS he won't be cool, no matter how hard you try cos it's you doing it, not him

ds wears his rucksack on his back and has no problems, he wears his jumper and his tie is the proper length and doesn't have a stupidly big knot and he's never been picked on for things like that and according to his form tutor he's very popular (in school)

he's just accepted for being a little bit quirky and eccentric - lots of his teachers at parents evening commented on how great it was to have him in their class as he brought a completely different dimension to discussions etc

IndigoBell · 06/07/2012 08:03

What are you guys doing about shoelaces for PE?

coppertop · 06/07/2012 11:26

At ds' school, most of the boys have rucksacks, and usually on both shoulders. It's a normal comp with a mixed intake, and a long way from square. :o

Ds managed to get the hang of shoelaces a couple of months before he started Yr7, but I looked into getting him some lock-laces:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B003HLRKU2/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=103612307&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B002AS9S7Q&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=13S9NJ0AEP03035D/

sphil · 06/07/2012 14:56

I love this thread! Can we keep it going when they actually start?

Ds has a plastic folder for his homework, but sometimes forgets to put papers in it - he is always saying he didnt have time, it was too rushed etc. Having two or more is a great idea. I really hope they do the printed learning goal thing at his school - would help him a great deal as his writing is pretty slow and he finds copying from the board hard.

He has just cracked laces but they are always coming undone - will look at that link CT ( nice to see you again btw - don't see you on SEN board often these days, though I'm not on it much now either).

Rucksacks worn over both shoulders seem fine here in the SW. Probably the fashion hasn't reached us yet Grin .

Now to consider how to attach PE kit to bag...

KitKatGirl1 · 06/07/2012 19:37

Laces! We could only get laced shoes on school shoes at the beginning of year 6. My dh said 'Big mistake'. But oh, no. It has so been worth it having him make mistakes and be slow this year. He's spot on now!
Pleased to hear I'm not going mad about the rucksacks. Did a quick survey at work today and all the dc are wearing them properly and even more of the girls have them than I thought too...Just the oldest ones have Monsoon bags or such!

basildonbond · 06/07/2012 20:05

we have velcro school shoes (phew) but could only get lace-up trainers for Mr Bigfoot (aka ds2 ...)

I got him to practise and practise and practise over the summer - he's still really slow but at least having velcro for school shoes means he's only got one lot of laces to worry about per PE session

He had lock-laces at primary but by secondary that would start marking out dc as different I think

sphil · 06/07/2012 21:05

DS1 has size 8 feet so velcro has been out for some time. Am hoping he's not going the way of my nephew who's in size 14s!

MrsS3 · 07/07/2012 00:35

crikey. Hadn't thought of PE footwear Blush omg. in same boat over laces. And as for football boots, nooooooooo [scream]!!

As far as the rucksack thing went, we're just trying to keep him off the radar for looking like a geek. Cool isn't going to be even on our map Wink Green hiker style waterproof and your rucksack on both shoulders will make you look a geek, hence a look to be avoided. just trying to avoid him getting eaten alive in the first week.

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IndigoBell · 07/07/2012 06:19

I think we're going to go with Velcro school shoes and lock laces for PE shoes / football boots.

There is no way he'll master shoelaces in the next 8 weeks.

but what'll I do about his apron? He can't tie that either......

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 07/07/2012 17:02

Ds2 (ASD) has nearly survived the whole of Y7. His school has a blazer so none of the children ever wear a coat unless it's torrential, and then only on the way to school, always soaked to the skin on the way home.

Rucksacks are ok here as well, suggest hanging around the school gate at the end of school and see what everyone else has. (But not in a grooming sort of way!)

He has those curly, stretchy laces for his football boots, but the lock laces look better. I think there are some sports laces that are topped with a bow and are pulled tight at the bottom. Less noticeable. I'll go google in a bit. He had velcro shoes this year and velcro Dunlop green flash.

He has a proper tie, but I have to help him tie it each morning. Now I just use a peg as his third hand and tidy it up at the end.

He has a statement and the TA fills in his homework diary. It works as a sort of home/school communication book as well. Organisation is a big problem for him, so his TAs help out with letters from and to school etc. He has one of those document wallets for loose leaf homework or letters etc, which works well.

I got him a mobile phone before he started school so he could practise with it. Thank goodness because one day he caught the wrong bus home. In the old days he would have been stranded somewhere and I would have had to have a conversation with the police! As it was, he rang me and described where he was and I tracked him down.

The best bit for me is that he has a friend! His first for a few years since his old friend moved away. His friend is autistic too, not in many sets with DS2, but in his lunchtime club. Thank God for large secondary schools with lots of different types!

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 07/07/2012 17:12

www.greeper.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=53&Itemid=70

These were the top down laces with a bow. Bit pricier than lock laces but may be better 'hidden.'

teacherwith2kids · 10/07/2012 17:56

Help!
I need, for DS, a keyring.

It has to:

Attach securely to a trousers belt loop - preferably with something like a carabiner (sp?) loop so it can't fall off.

Be strong enough to withstand plenty of rough and tumble (no plastic!)

Be long enough (or extendable enough) to a) allow keys to be kept securely in the bottom of his pocket and b) to reach the front door lock without unclipping from the belt.

Hold at least 3 keys (house, locker, possibly bike).

We had a locked-out scenario today - DS came home from school and got in fine, but then left again to go to an after school activity and left his keys behind because they live in his school bag. Need an 'attached to his person' solution!

MrsS3 · 10/07/2012 21:43

Can see ds1 needing this too. Google, here we come!!

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sphil · 10/07/2012 21:49

Yep us too Grin. I was wondering about attaching the keys to his rucksack, but think they would be better in a pocket.

teacherwith2kids · 10/07/2012 21:51

Yes, we have a keys-in-bag solution - but the whole 'different bag needed for out of school activity' thing left DS, literally, out in the rain....

(We are also going for a 'spare key in convoluted hiding place' option, but that won't work for locker or bike keys at school)

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 10/07/2012 22:17

www.amazon.co.uk/Heavy-Duty-Retractable-Chrome-Delivery/dp/B001D9G114/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1341954852&sr=8-2

This sort of thing? I'm sure you can get them with a carabiner (sp?) as well.