So IF you had tons of wong, would you send em private?

[Hullygully]

Enough wong that you barely noticed the outlay and could still have hols etc?

We could have sent the dds to private primary, but didn't, on several counts. Partly because when we looked around local primaries, the one we liked best was a State Primary.
Also because we wanted them to have some experience of wide-ranging mix of society, with lots of nationalities and backgrounds.

For Secondary, we will wait and see what the local State school is like by then (dd1 in Y3) - if its not right for her, or truly dire, or she falls in love with an Indie when we take her to see the available options, then yes, she will go privately.

well my ds(18) is in the 6th form of his bog standard local comp and he loved it, local friends, involvement with local community and off to uni september hopefully.

the state system isn't the bad

Yes.

I believe in state education.

Just not the state education that dd has had, which enabled her to spend a whole year at school going backwards.

We do have enough "wong", but aren't considering indies. The local day schools are nothing much to write home about, we wouldn't consider boarding and we're lefties.

Of course if we lived somewhere with poor state schools then our principles might be somewhat more negotiable.

I went to a good very large comprehensive - I got a great education and I loved it. A lot less pressure on me than there would have been in a super-selective private (and I was always top set). I had a broad range of friends from a broad range of backgrounds, and now I'm in a profession where I have to deal with people from all walks of life on a daily basis I'm really glad that I had those experiences. I truly believe that the best education you can get is in a big decent comprehensive and that is what I really want for my DSs (both still primary) but sadly where we live you have to pray to get in (my religion but I resent it!) and DS1 is severely dyslexic, so I'm not sure yet whether the (frankly outstanding) comp on our doorstep will be the best thing:(

I'm pretty scared of whether my children will be people I understand as adults if I do send them for secondary. They're in private prep to deal with the dyslexia (started in the state sector, moved DS when he started talking about self-harm :( and I was telling them only this morning - going to private school doesn't make you better - it's just a choice we're making because of dyslexia. DS1 seems to be pretty socially aware, so I hope I'm getting away with the compromise I've made...

Just to say I think there is sometimes a misconception that private education means you grow up only able to talk to posh people. I was privately educated and so was DH, and we are both pretty much able to get on with all sorts of different people. In fact if anything he's more comfortable with the less posh ones (don't think he loved his school so maybe that's why...)

I would keep it as a back-stop option for if things went wrong in the school he's at and I needed to find an alternative fast and local.

Otherwise - no.

There are things I would do if I had unlimited dosh and things I wouldn't. Holiday cottages in choice favourite locations - yes, expensive cars and designer handbags, no.

I'd only do it for 6th form boarding. The private day schools round here are nothing special and the state schools compare favourably to them.

I love this idea that privately educated people have no idea how to mix with the plebs. I'm a state school educated person who has been married to a privately educated person for the last ten years.
Having said that we just had an argument about who sang 'I owe you nothing' and I was right so his education was obviously lacking in other ways.

I've met plenty of privately educated people who were basically unable to talk to anybody who wasn't in their income bracket, actually.

And one who was actually shocked that I went to a state school.

I went to a (small) private school, and feel very comfortable mixing with all sorts of people - but I have that kind of family, and grew up in a Uni town with a very international population. I'm also half not-English.

I suspect family background is more responsible for a child's difficulty in mixing with one or t'other social group than school can ever be.

But some schools tend to attract the more flexible sort of families in the first place, I suppose.

Bronze - me too, married to a posho for 15 years now.

Not only was I state educated, but my Mum still lives in a Council House, AND guess what?? Sometimes he visits her with me. In her council house!!! Imagine that!

Does he visit in disguise though?

usual - you guessed! Yes he wears a comedy nose and dark glasses (and makes her call him "My Lord")

yellow I've met lots of poor people who can't speak to amyone out of their economic social circle.

I'm poor and talk to anyone tbh.

Me too (well from a poor background).

But many iof my peers felt and still do feel very uncomfortable with anyone different. Anyone remotely middle class is considered posh, up themselves etc

It's not about being able to "talk" to people
in some kind of a paternalistic hug-a-hoodie Cameron kind of way, but about having some insight into and understanding about normal people - I've met plenty of private educated people who have none and I really object to the word plebs my ex (private education, rolling in it) thought my family was an example of poverty / he once said "there wasn't much money about when you were a kid was there?" our family income was about 100k and we went on skiing holidays... He is not the only specimen I have come across with such a distorted view

No.

But if I hadn't found the schools I have, I may have tried the independent schools near us.

Every day I am amazed at how brilliant my DCs schools are. I know I am very lucky that my children receive the education I want them to have. I don't really rate the the independent schools around here, but if I lived somewhere else (London) I probably wouldn't think twice about sending my DC to independent schools)

The only criticism I have is that DS1's senior school doesn't have a swimming pool (The juniors use the pool at an independent senior school within walking distance), and that the juniors don't wear blazers and boaters/caps. I do like a cute uniform.

But there is plenty of people on less than £100k at private school so that's just weird.

Might be weird, but it isn't usual

Don't know how this holds up now, but in my day going to a private London day school there just wasn't a chance of only coming into contact with poshos. And it was not considered cool to be posh either.

Suspect this might have changed - does anyone know?

Meanwhile the most socially adept person I know went to Eton - he's clearly posh, but he can engage with anyone - no hint of superiority.

Yes and yes, unless I still lived in Canada with all my dosh (Wong???) and then probably no.

Bashful, I work in one and my DDs go to another, and I would say it hasn't changed really. We are not super posh (can't be, I'm from the Colonies) and not many of the girls I come into contact with are either. Super rich some of them yes, but that of course is not the same thing.