Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Changing schools Year 8?

77 replies

Sparklingbrook · 20/03/2012 21:12

DS1 started High School last September (Year 8 in these parts).

6 months in and he is still very unsettled. Having problems with friends (the ones he came up from previous school have abandoned him) he says he isn't one of the 'populars' so nobody bothers with him.

He is quite a sensitive 12 year old, he doesn't like asking the teachers when he's unsure etc and he has always wanted to do things correctly IYKWIM.

Academically he is doing well but in every other area it's like 2 steps forward and one back. HOY is aware of the situation, but only so much they can do.

DS says he doesn't fit in at the school. Sad I am at a loss, tears again from him tonight.

OP posts:
accidentprawn · 21/03/2012 18:25

Your Welcome!
Do the pastoral care still see him?

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 21/03/2012 18:26

They too have an open door should he wish to go.......

OP posts:
accidentprawn · 21/03/2012 18:30

Does he want the help from them?
Im so sorry that he has to go through this

Doobydoo · 21/03/2012 18:41

Sparkling so sorry.Keep him away like you said if he dosen't want to go.
Where are you?
Are there Grammars,different types of schools.It is terribly important for you all.Maybe your dh can read this thread.

accidentprawn · 21/03/2012 18:44

If he dosent want to go dont make him. make him watch loose women!
Where in the country are you?

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 21/03/2012 18:49

Hereford and Worcestershire accident.

If he doesn't want to go in tomorrow I will take it from there.

OP posts:
accidentprawn · 21/03/2012 18:54

I have a friend who worked at a school there years ago. she always praised its bullying policy. it was in malvern

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 21/03/2012 18:57

Can i just say how lovely it is to get all this support? It is great to get all the different points of view and think about it from all angles.

It makes me feel like I can sort this. Smile

OP posts:
accidentprawn · 21/03/2012 18:58

You can sort it. We are all behind you. if this carrys on the bullies will have me to mess with!

Doobydoo · 21/03/2012 18:59

YOU can and YOU will sort it!!
Also I think it is reassuring in a way to know that it happens to other people too and you are not alone.

accidentprawn · 21/03/2012 19:02

Its not just you that this is happening to. It is happening to other families and it will be happening to other children at your DSs school. We are here to help. If you need anything <strong>sparkling</strong> and dont want to ask on the thread drop me a PM.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 21/03/2012 19:05

Thank you all. accident I will thank you. I will keep you posted.

OP posts:
accidentprawn · 21/03/2012 19:07

Your welcome :) Anything I can do to help and I will. It makes my blood boil that people think this is acceptable.

accidentprawn · 22/03/2012 15:47

Has today been any better?

mockingjay · 22/03/2012 16:02

Sparklingbrook, sorry to hear your DS is having problems. I'm posting because this "I have noticed that DS's personality is changing. He never seems to get excited about anything and is very negative." struck a chord with me. My mum said almost those exact same words about me in Yr 8. I remember really dreading everything - just another opportunity for everyone to be mean in a new way.

I didn't have an easy time in the first two years of high school, for mostly the same reasons as your DS. I moved school (not because of this, because we moved house). And it was a million times better. I moved to a school where there were academic streams, and so I was with like minded people, and had loads of great friends. I look back on those first 2 years of high school as the worst time of my life, and it did change me. I still get excited about things privately rather than in front of people.

So, if one of the other possible schools has streaming, then I would go for it without a backwards glance.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 22/03/2012 16:32

Hi all,

DS saw HOY today and has come out of school reasonably happy. DH has spoken to HOY on the phone but he's at work so I don't know what was said yet.

I have emailed 2 schools re places. The first one has responded that Year 8 is full but I could put him on the waiting list, no reply from the second yet.

Thanks for sharing your story mocking it sounds scarily similar. Sad

OP posts:
mockingjay · 22/03/2012 17:55

That's good news that he's feeling better Sparkling.

On the plus side, I came out the other end, fairly unscathed. My only real regret is that I didn't get out sooner (it was 2 years for me, 7 and 8).

I vaguely think the HoY tried to help me make more friends, but by that time, I didn't want to. Who wants to become friends with people who said/did horrible things to them? Also, in a new school, he would be interesting to everyone by default, just being new iyswim.

Best of luck to you both.

accidentprawn · 22/03/2012 17:56

good news that he is feeling better. Not long before easter when he can just relax and forget about school

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 22/03/2012 18:30

HOY think DS is taking offence to things that most children his age would shrug off. He has reiterated that DS should go to him if there are any problems-and we have told DS he must do that.

I have emailed another 2 schools re places.

OP posts:
didofido · 22/03/2012 19:49

As Hooker said - ask at the private school about bursaries. Many are very sympathetic to bright kids who are being picked on or bullied at their present school.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 22/03/2012 19:52

Thanks dido I will definitely look at all the options. I can feel a ring binder coming on, with an index. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 28/03/2012 07:10

Hi all. Quick update.

DS has seemed a bit better this last week. HOY saw him again and saw some of the boys who were giving DS grief.
He wants to go on the residential trip in June. So that is good (I think)

On the other hand I have found 2 schools who have places. I am going to go and look round them. Then when/if the time comes it will speed things up. Not sure exactly what to tell the potential new schools re the situation though.

I am still mithering about it all, but on the days he comes home reasonably ok, it is a little easier to cope with. No tears this week so far.

OP posts:
tantrumsandballoons · 28/03/2012 09:00

At least you have options, sparkling.
That must make you feel a bit better now

Glad he is a bit happier now

ragged · 28/03/2012 09:07

DS was picked on in primary school, desperately unhappy about being one of the unpopulars, and he obviously became very stuck in that rut and it's well beyond their own control to get out of it. I finally moved him after about 18 months of his misery and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. I was also very unpopular at one school but did fine (socially) at 3 others without doing anything different.

So I have become a (huge) fan of moving them.

My thoughts are about GCSEs, around here y8s are choosing options and I don't know what happens wrt GCSEs if they move in y8.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 28/03/2012 09:17

Yes, i am relieved that I could move him if I wanted to *tantrums. I think if I have already looked round potential schools that will be an advantage should we need to do it quickly.

I am mindful that things are still very precarious. DH still not keen on moving him.

Options choosing in Year 9 here ragged.

OP posts: