Super-selective or all-round?

[mydogisinsane]

I've got a bit of a dilemma and need some sage advice from you clever parents.

DS is at a non-academically selective prep and is doing very well. In the top sets for everything, in the top 5 pupils in his year academically. Fairly sporty too and very happy. He has friends of all abilities. His prep has suggested to us that DS would have a decent chance of getting an academic scholarship for senior school.

Where I live there are no very academically selective senior schools, the nearest are an hours drive or train journey away - a door-to-door commute to one of these would be 3 hours a day!

There is a lovely, traditional type school within a short drive of my home, but it is not very academically selective, so its results are consequently lower. We have visited all the schools in question, and really like the non-selective one, it seems to offer so much more than just academia, it felt like DS would have fun there, loads of extra-curricular activities, nice atmosphere, not at all "stuck-up", great sport, drama, pastoral care etc. etc.

DS would have a great shot at a scholarship and even being put forward for one by his current school would put him in the scholar's programme.

I was quite happy with my decision, (he is doing well in a non-selective environment at the moment) but, children talk, and some of the other parents have found out about our plans and are openly critical of our choice. I have had comments like "why do you want to throw away his guarantee of 10 A's", and "it's a rubbish school, they take anyone". (there are some very odd parents where he is, who feel they can comment on every aspect of other people's lives). These parents are quite happy to make their DC's do this awful commute, if it means them going to the super-selective school.

I should stick with the decision I am happy with shouldn't I? I know that and I am not at all weak-willed but I am still feeling a little twitch of doubt and would welcome any comments from people who might have been in a similar position.

I think post 13, music does have a low priority in many pupils lives. Most won't take a GCSE, and most won't play in an orchestra etc.

Sport seems to play a far bigger part in many teenaged boys lives. It certainly does in my DS life.
Sure there exists an orchestra and a choir etc, but for the majority of the guys it's all about the rugby/football/cricket/skiiing/athletics.

DD's school is quite different. The arts are at the centre of school life.

Oh yes happy. There is music. The department would probbaly be very pissed off to hear me do it down .

There is an orchestra and a choir and jazz band etc. There is always a GCSE cohort and also an A level cohort.

But tio say it was a the heart of all the boys' lives would be to overstate it. Whereas DD's school could hand on heart say it is part of every pupil's life. Every girl in DD's year either sings or plays a musical instrument. That's very unusual in teenaged girls. The majority of girls will take at least one GCSE in music or art or drama.

@word DD's school sounds like a much batter school. The majority of those boys - probably all of those boys - will not go on to make a career in professional sport. Why on earth would you pay to put your DS in an environment such as the one you describe? If the arts aren't important to him then clearly he hasn't been given access to the ones that will rock his boat.

thetasig my DS has had more access to the arts than the vast majority of DC on the planet!
I am a writer and our home, as you can imagine, is filled with everyhting to do with books. DH is a jazz musician in his spare time. There is music and instruments everywhere.
We also have a photographic studio.
Add to that that, DS went to prep school with its own art studios and a kiln!

But DS is his own man and remains resolutely academic. Maths, economics and what have you float his boat. He plans Oxbridge or LSE.

And no, he probably will not make his living from sport but he does take it to a very high level (national). It's what he likes to do outside of academic studies. Well that and play on the PS3 and eat crisps! So in choosing a school it was more important for him that it was highly academic and had lots of sport he could indulge in.

To be fair, the majoirty of girls in DD's school probably won't make the arts their living! But that's not the point is it?

DD's school is better for her but that type of education is not what my DS is looking for at all.

@Word It's your choice how you spend your money. But as I said - I wouldnt spend good money on a school which didn't care about the arts. And I reckon that if your DS has no interest in the arts he won't really make the most of an Oxbridge sojourn. The best thing about being at Cambridge was the arts scene. I don't miss my maths lectures at all. I do miss all the wonderful times I spent doing music and theatre.

thtasig there is no one way to make the best of things or be happy.

What floats my boat probbaly wouldn't suit everyone. It would be dull if it did. But it would be arrogant or unimaginative of me not to understand that others may be perfectly happy living a different way.

DS is perfectly happy and fullfilled living a life where he is not in an orchestra or a school play.

I am spectacularly unathletic but appear to have spawned uber athletes! They get things out of it that I had never even considered.