Many thanks for all replies; I've tried to answer all the very helpful questions. This was a mock exam. Task is apparently called IED. Inform Explain Describe. It was supposed to be a letter to a family he knew; it didn't give eg an age, such as 'a person of your own age', which I suppose might have given him more of a steer. Thing is, he really does write like this. I mean, nobody older had a hand in it.
I've pasted it in below.
You mentioned in your last letter that you were planning on staying in Saint Malo for three days while in Brittany and, knowing how often I go there, you wanted some advance reports from a source you can trust.
It?s actually quite a small town, despite the skirts of gas stations and aquaria that dot the long multi lane roads to the promontory on which it sits. It?s castled, fortified behind sanded walls of rough stone that hug the cliff face above the sea, a now well maintained relic of its days as a medieval fortress.
It?s also nearly impossible to get into by car, as it is a relatively popular tourist destination due to its inordinately pleasant beaches. This will come as bad news to you given your hatred of the noise produced by crowds, but they stay mainly in the centre of town unless on the largest beach, dodging from one ice cream place to another where sensible business men have raised their stalls.
Their enthusiasm is understandable ? the beach is one of the best I?ve seen outside the Pacific. But the beach they flock to is the wrong one. The beach you?d like best is a quiet little beach in the shadow of the walls, a tiny rocky stairway clattering down onto the sand, the sharp corroded edges of rocks blocking it off from the outside world and noise, while creating tiny rock pools filled with thick red seaweed and sea molluscs, clinging to the sharp stones. The odd Breton with an enthusiastic dog will wander down here to release their pet into the foam, but the dogs make quiet, lively companions to one?s thoughts. I particularly liked the place because of the oysters I could find and pry from the rocks, slurping them from their shells. This will not appeal to you, however.
Which brings me to the other disadvantage from your viewpoint: the notable lack of any restaurants in Saint Malo that don?t serve solely seafood. It?s hardly surprising, as it did start its life as a fishing village, but nevertheless probably unwelcome from your standpoint.
But there is some good news. Last time I went there, on my second last day I was tired of eating fish and desperate for a change. Nothing on earth could have persuaded me to digest the slimy horrors on sale to the unsuspecting tourist a few blocks away, so wandering the streets I searched for a café to at least have a drink. My eye, thankfully, was caught by one of the best creperies I have ever had the pleasure of eating at. The sweet crepes were light and crisp, and best of all they served the thick buckwheat savoury crepes, available with everything from bacon to aubergine, that Bretons are so fond of.
There is one place you will definitely want to brave the crowds for however; on an island separated from the main body of France by a bridge that emerges at low tide, seeming to rise up like a house through fog, lies the final resting place of that great author Chateaubriand, whose works you are so fond of.
I hope this information is of use to you, and I hope you enjoy your trip.