FGS - not everybody want's to abduct and abuse your child whilst high on drink and drugs which is usually the mumsnet thoughts on anything from sleepovers, the next door neighbour saying hello, or an old man offering a child a shiny 50p at the shop.
Yes stuff like that does happen - but why do we assume that if their is a husband in the house at a sleepover that things are going to happen - can you imagine if someone turned to you and said my dd can't come for tea at yours as your husband will be there!
It is a sad world where we don't allow our children the opportunity to go to a sleepover at a school friends house, just because.
Yes speak to the mum on the phone to confirm that your daughter is going, and have a chat with her about the girls, what they might do on the friday night maybe mention what your daughter likes to eat and discuss coming to collect her if there are any problems. Speak to your daughter and tell her she can text/call you.
OR
Sit your child down and say there is a 0.0000000001% chance that you may be abducted/abused/hurt/upset whilst you are there, so you're not going, I also think there is a 0.000001% chance that the same could happen at cub scouts, at your aunts house, on the way to the shop, at school so you won't be going there, to be honest there is a 0.0000001% chance of it happening outside this house, so maybe you're better of staying in the house forver and actually by the consensus of mnet that there is a man in the house there is a 0.00001% chance of you being harmed in this house too, so maybe it's best that I attach you with handcuffs to me forever and don't let you out of my sight.
Yes she is 11 and you still see her as your baby, but she is 11 and wants/needs to be able to learn/put into practise the social skills gained at sleepovers and whilst with her peers outside of school.