Independent or grammar school

[MommyG]

If your DS was a bright boy and got into a grammar school, and you wouldnt mind paying fees for a private school, i.e you have got enough backup, which one would you go for - grammaror private and why.

Dont get the impression that I fall into either category .. just wanted to find out, thats all

DS passed for the two local grammars and a selective independent. He's at the independent. We all liked it best out of the three, we can afford it, we have savings, we have family back up - so there was no reason not to go for our favourite, IYSWIM

When we were looking @ primaries for our DS1 happended to meet an old friend who is a fellow at an Oxbridge college and was responsible for admissions. He came from a working class background, grammar school, northern city, and always did his absolute utmost to give places to poorer students with potential from state schools, but who would be likley to get a first. Because of his subject, languages, poorer teaching in state schools (of all kinds) meant that with his best will, he could not offer places to people who simply did not have sufficient basic grounding in that subject and who hadn't read widely around it before going to university. I asked him his advice about schooling, and he said that very reluctantly (and to my suprise) that he had to advise me that if we could afford a good independent it would definitely be immeasurably better for the DC if they had the potential to do well academically.
(We ignored that advice as we were offered a place at the local outstanding state primary. When we moved DS to a local high achieving indepdendnet in Y6 the difference in teaching was dramatic, and we have no regrets about not trying him for the local grammar. His friend had a choice between the grammar and an indie, his parents chose the grammar, and are now in the process of scrabbling around to find him a place at an indie )

I worked in a Grammar and i can tell you it was a fantastic school- you often get brighter kids at the grammar but the class sizes are bigger and there is the advantage of the contacts you can make in some independents for want of a better word.

If money is no object and the independent is a good one, I guess I would go with that option- but as I said the grammar I worked in was amazing and the kids just were so nice and humble which I hear is not always the case at the private schools.

I turned down a grammar school place for my daughter because she preferred the independent school she had chosen(which offered her a 50% scholarship). Worth every penny. She bounces into school every day, enjoys a wealth of extra-curricular activities, exciting clubs and critical thinking lessons, classes of less than 20 and sometimes 14. The teaching is original, inspiring and not bound by 'ticking boxes' or the lastest government initiative. The school sets its own curriculum, with its own priorities; these really have every child's best interests at heart. My daughter's confidence is being nurtured all the time, particularly through public speaking, LAMDA courses and debating societies. She has lots of friends and the pastoral care in the school is exceptional. Best investment I could make for her education.

My DS is at a state grammar school. The social mix is important to us. He's going to have a lot of street smarts as well as academic qualifications, and a handful of mates with an eclectic mix of parents (midwives, builders, nurses, professional musicians, childminders, plumbers, GPs, geologists). Plus I don't like the air of entitlement that hovers over our local indie school.

Lotofkids - are you in hertfordshire area, we are investigating schools at the moment, lot of choice in the area, both state and independent. We have visited a few in the area but dd shows no preference and is not fazed at all by the facilities at the independents ! Maybe then it is not right for her, how do you know !?! Sorry that sounds a bit condescending to her, I mean, if she doesn't recognise the facilities and opportunities, and is not excited by the new clubs and activities on offer then we are not sure she would use them and get full benefit from them.

Our local ( highly selective and v high achieving) grammar schools have less of a social mix than the ( highly selective and v high achieving) 2 top independent schools. Probably because parents spent their money on independent preps which specialise in getting them through the 11 plus. The independents have quite a generous bursary / assisted places scheme plus scholarships and, crucially, look for potential in each candidate not just raw score.

Independence from government 'latest bright ideas' and ticking of boxes - as lotofkids says - means that the school can set the bar higher and have a more interesting curriculum.

If you can scrape the money from somewhere, choose a good independent.If you can't, then a grammar school is the next best thing ( usually. My friend's DD was discouraged from following her natural inclination towards Art and was miserable.She left after GCSE and is now happy at Art College!)

Hi,

I was wondering if, now 5 years on, your experiences had changed and what choice you had made as we are now likely to have to make the choice ? thanks.