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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Ds was in tears as he's very unhappy at his new school.

68 replies

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 22:45

A couple of the boys have sworn at him, he was hit in the nose today making it bleed (the other boy did appologise and get him a tissue), he said he's finding it really hard to make friends and he's knackered as he's needing to wake up early to get to school on time.
It will get better won't it? Am I allowed to take him in a little later so he can sleep in or am I a wuss?

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belledechocolatefluffybunny · 14/09/2010 13:01

I'll see what I can sort out. I really feel for him, it's never easy starting a new school, the poor lad's been through it though.

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snorkie · 14/09/2010 13:30

I hope he has a better day today belle.

PixieOnaLeaf · 14/09/2010 13:35

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belledechocolatefluffybunny · 14/09/2010 13:52

Thank you. I hope so, I'm off in an hour so fingers crossed. Smile

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RatherBeOnThePiste · 14/09/2010 15:33

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maria1665 · 14/09/2010 15:43

We had similar problems last year, which were resolved when I went to see the head of year.

It seemed drastic at the time, but I wish I had done it sooner. The H of Y in many schools is responsible for pastoral matters, and they stay with the children as they move through the school.

One of the main stressful times is lunchtime - they can last an age when you have no one to talk to but everyone else is paired off. The school usually has a sanctuary for those who are struggling - work in the library, jigsaw or board game clubs. There will also be learning mentors, who will, if you ask, make a point of discreetly asking to see your son for a chat each week, to see if there is anything up.

Very good luck.

blinder · 14/09/2010 17:09

How did the day go Belle?

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 14/09/2010 18:03

He spent lunch time and break talking to a load of boys about Halo (game he wants), they are from other years, he's read up and is an expert. He seems very happy today (relief).
His tutor emailed me back and is arranging a buddy for him from his class.

Thank you. I think we'll take one day at a time. He does find it hard making friends, if only he could pick up social skills as easily as he picks up maths. He's normally fine when things are explained to him though.

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GetOrfMoiLand · 14/09/2010 18:06

Am g;ad his day was better today Belle. Bless him.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 14/09/2010 18:15

I wouldn't want to be 11 again!

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PixieOnaLeaf · 14/09/2010 19:54

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belledechocolatefluffybunny · 14/09/2010 20:09

I think they would set up a Halo reach club if they were allowed Grin There's some sort of warhammer type thing tomorrow so he's going to that at lunch time Smile

Thank you, it's not easy for him. Sad

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/09/2010 08:25

Belle I'm so glad he had a better day. It's never easy being a bit of a geek and not having that knack of making friends

Jux · 15/09/2010 09:58

Hallo!!!!!

How's your ds today? It's horrid when you get caught out by a game which everyone else seems to know, but he is now a member of the club of people who do know, and just because it feels like he was the last to find out, I bet there are plenty more. So glad he's found the warhammer (?) thing, and the Halo Boys - that's the start of making friends, isn't it?

DD's having a hard time adjusting to her new school too, not helped by the awful journey and having to get up so early. DH is finding it pretty hard too - 6.30 start does not belong in his world, though he's actually better at getting up than I am.

From what dd tells me, she spends most of her break times in the library reading, so at the back of my mind, I have the worry that she's not making friends. On the other hand, if her way of coping with this massive change is to lose herself in a book, well, I expect she'll emerge eventually when she's feeling more secure about the other stuff.

It's really hard at the moment. I remember a friend's child starting secondary, and he (the friend, not the child) was almost in tears thinking about how tired she was at the end of the day, and how much homework she had to do each evening when she was already tired.

I do know, and keep reminding myself, that that girl is now in year 10 and happy as Larry, copes with the journey, the early start, the homework, everything - takes it all in her stride. So I know that dd will adjust and manage eventually.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 15/09/2010 10:38

He seems quite happy today, Halo has been released so he's happier (sigh). I'll have to wait and see how his day goes today, he's started off in a happier mood though so fingers (and toes) crossed. Smile

It's horrible worrying about them. I hope your dd has a better day Jux Smile

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summer111 · 16/09/2010 23:52

belle, ds started Yr 7 last week and was similarly very anxious, exhausted and a bit tearful..I was silently praying every day last week that it would be uneventful and he would come home smiling. The worry wasn't fun!

One week on and he's found his feet- still very tired but seems to have adjusted to the routine, rules and homework demands.

DS mentioned a warhammer club too, though I think playgroud football has taken preference Wink

Hope your ds continues to settle in and make a few good friends.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 17/09/2010 09:43

Smile I hope your son is happy too. His tutor has really helped, I know from what ds has said that there are other year 7s who are anxious. I'm pleased he's made friends, they are not in his year though but at least he's not alone at lunch time and break. It's really hard for them.

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mumeeee · 17/09/2010 11:23

I would talk to the school about how he is feeling. He will be very tired for the first couple of weeks, I can remeber DD2 and 3 just coming home and flacking out on the sette for about an hour everyday afets school when they started high school, DD1 seemed to take it more in her stride but then a lot of her friends moved to the schol with her.

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