Children joining in parents night

[Mozartine]

Just had an online booking form for my child’s parents night and again the school suggests the child is present. We have a number of questions we would like to ask that we couldn’t ask with our child present and a lot of other parents must be in a similar position. What benefit would there be to the child being there? In primary o wanted to ask whether they were at all to blame for the beatings they seemed to attract, why they were given the main part in the school show when they didn’t want it. In secondary I would like to know what grades they are likely to get in higher so I can guide their uni aspirations accordingly. All important things, but inappropriate to ask in front of a child.

The only benefit I can see is that annoyed parents would be less inclined to raise things that annoy them in front of their child. Is that it?

Intruiged. There. Are lots of teachers on this. Anyone with an answer?

I’ve sometimes taken my kids and sometimes not. In terms of predicted higher grades do you not receive a tracking report with this information?

In secondary totally appropriate for child to hear answer to questions about likely grades.

Re primary question I would want specific meeting on this, not for discussion at parents evening

It is usual for many schools for parent and child to be present

I prefer not to take the children but have to sometimes due to childcare.

If my child was being beaten at school I wouldn’t be waiting until parents night to address it, that’s for sure!

I think from the examples you are giving you are having an abnormal experience with the school.

Parents night is about their lessons and it can be really useful for your child to hear the feedback given- whatever else is going on I suggest you take up with pastoral care/whoever did the casting for the school show.

From the child's perspective, how would you like people with huge control and influence over your life to discuss and talk about you with you there. I think it's good for children to hear about where they are doing well and where they might want to work on improvement, or what extra support they can access.

High school grades, the children should know this themselves and it'll be on tracking reports. The primary questions I wouldn't be sitting on until parents evening

However I do take your point, some discussions are difficult with children present. We're currently questioning if my ds might have some kind of neuro divergence, he certainly has anxiety about going to school amongst other issues, when I've asked him if I can speak to his teacher about it, he's got incredibly upset and doesn't want me to speak with her.

Surely in secondary it is in their report cards/trackers/learning discussions (or whatever they are called now) and your child is old enough to be well aware of the level they are working at? I don't see the need for secret adult only talks at a parent's evening, unless there is something specific about your circumstances.

I really haven’t had a report that outlines the level they are working at. Not at primary school or secondary. It’s all windy wsshy meaningless guff. “Working at a good level”. Is that an A or a C? What’s “good”? It’s so subjective.

What year are they in? If I remember correctly, once ds was in S4 (which started the easter of S3 and the NAT5s he was studying had been chosen) he would have tracker reports saying what is current level was and expected target. He would get them 2-3 times a year. 1-2 was a A (they never gave out 1s!), 3-4 a B etc for NAT5s, the same in subsequent years for Highers.

Prior to that year it would be more generic reports, with perhaps some marks from class tests. It would have been a bit early to think about how to guide uni aspirations pre S4. Talking to your dc you should be able to get a good feel of how they are doing in class tests compared to their peers and what feedback they have had from their teachers in learning conversations, as they already know themselves, and if they are misguided it is probably better hearing it together with you directly from the teacher.

in which case I’d assume your child is in KS3 so would be too early for a teacher to predict final GCSE grades.

once they get into year 10 you’ll get given predicted grades

Most schools are keen on children being active participants in their education rather than it being something done "to" them.

We get interim reports in Scotland secondary and each one says what level the kids are working within, mine also were involved in parents night in secondary it’s about them, if there was anything sensitive I wanted to discuss I’d do it by phone at another time. But by s4/5/6 they know roughly what direction they want to head in, and I discussed future plans with my boys and the teachers sometimes the teachers alone if boys didn’t come but there was nothing in parents night the kids couldn’t hear.

primary they came but went off to the classroom to play whilst we spoke to teachers. My youngest has Sen so he had lots of meetings out with the parents evening so I didn’t often go as I had the information already.

My kids have attended ever parents night all the way through primary and secondary

if it’s a issue then parents night isn’t appropriate and you should organise a separate meeting

parents night is about about feedback and your child should hear that and be part of the discussion

Given this is Scotsnet I don’t think this is a likely scenario

Ask about in relation to their peers where they are. My ds is in P6 and at parents eve this week we were told 'he's working above what is expected for his age in all areas' and 'in maths he is covering work that would be expected towards end of P7' and 'his reading age is 11years 4months', for points for improvement we were told he could work on conclusions in extended writing, for example.
This is not a stealth boost, you should get an awareness of roughly what stage your child is at in the curriculum.

I am onto my third child going through school parents evenings, he's now in S5. We have parents evening in a week or so, he has said that teachers say he should attend too, whether this is right or whether he's just being awkward and wants to know what they say about him is still up for debate. I prefer he is not there tbh.

My DC never attended primary school parents evenings, but it is very much encouraged in High School. I found out it was important when in S1 my sons maths teacher was talking about an entirely different child.

I agree with what others have said that levels of working and grade predictions are perfectly fine for a teenager to hear and be a part of the discussion.

Never took mine to primary school parents' evenings and it wasn't encouraged - the school staffed their assembly hall as a childcare facility for those that needed it on such evenings.

My older kids (who were at high school 2008 through 2013 ish) never went either and, back then, it was common not to take kids. Some parents did, some did not.

From my ds starting high in 2015 and since then though, kids always at high school parents' eve.

And the teacher often just speaks direct to child, rather than the parent.

My youngest born 2007 so all at an end for me now, thank goodness!

In primary o wanted to ask whether they were at all to blame for the beatings they seemed to attract

Beatings?!

Bullying isn't appropriate to discuss at parents night. And will have a policy to deal with it. No child ever can do anything to invite violence!

If you want engaged learners you need to include them. Nothing big and or new should really be heard on the night, it's not an appropriate forum. There wouldn't be enough time

I used to be a teacher and I really hated it when parents brought their children to parents' evening! It makes it very difficult for either parent or teacher to talk about anything of concern. I MUCH prefer just parents!

I was primary though. Secondary might be different?

Well my child is actually the one is school so I can't see see why I wouldn't take them

Secondary parents evening kids always there for our school, it's good for them to hear the good things and the areas for development. If first year they won't really know what higher grades they are aiming for. If third year, they may be doing nat 5 type tests already and you will get an idea from percentages. Your child really needs to be researching unis themselves when the time comes as they need to be invested in it personally to succeed. They often won't have much idea till 5 th year and beyond anyway! The beauty of the Scottish system is they can do additional subjects in 6 th year if they have changed direction.

Secondary - pupils were always encouraged to attend
Primary - our school suggested that P7s could come in preparation for High School but it wasn't compulsory.

Then of course you had the parents who had a child in a lower class so "Could they just bring them along too" etc etc

Some PSAs ran a creche in the GP room so that wee ones could be left. That was a great idea as I'd struggled to talk to parents while wee ones were trashing my classroom!