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Original poster

Advice please

57 replies

Vonbo · 09/08/2023 17:19

So lived in England
Had no issues having husband/partner present at Smear test.

In Scotland, it seems to be like a taboo subject and when I asked the question it was brushed under the carpet

So can any lady living on Scotland please advise as to whether women in Scotland attending for a smeat test can have a.partner present

OP posts:
Restinggoddess · 09/08/2023 17:22

Is there a reason you are having your DP in the room whilst you have a smear?

Never had DP present - never thought to ask
Perhaps the staff think you are being controlled

Guiltyfeethavegotnorhythm0 · 09/08/2023 17:25

I've never asked or wanted anyone present for smear .

stargirl1701 · 09/08/2023 17:29

I've always had mine alone bar the time I had to take toddler DD2.

Loversonthesun · 09/08/2023 17:40

I'm guessing there's a back story here, but why would you need him? I've always been on my own for smears.

BrokenWing · 09/08/2023 17:58

In Scotland, it seems to be like a taboo subject and when I asked the question it was brushed under the carpet

If you simply say you will be bringing someone to support you during the appointment I don't think they will not allow you. It would be unusual to take a partner without reasons, but is on the NHSInform site with regards to support during the appointment for those that have suffered sexual violence "For example, you can request a double appointment, take someone you trust to the appointment, or access a specialist clinic. "

What do you mean when you say it was "brushed under the carpet"?

TitoMojito · 09/08/2023 18:22

I'm in Scotland. I've never heard of a partner attending a smear test.

mraladdinsir · 09/08/2023 18:24

Vonbo · 09/08/2023 17:19

So lived in England
Had no issues having husband/partner present at Smear test.

In Scotland, it seems to be like a taboo subject and when I asked the question it was brushed under the carpet

So can any lady living on Scotland please advise as to whether women in Scotland attending for a smeat test can have a.partner present

I lived in Scotland for 3 years recently, my husband attended my smear with me in 2022.

standys · 09/08/2023 18:29

COVID stopped the norms but in the UK NHS charter one of the patient rights is to have a support person present. In Scotland I have only ever had a smear done by a female nurse. If you would truly benefit from his presence to hold your hand then simply state that and bring him in with you. Best wishes.

standys · 09/08/2023 18:31

Provided the nurse does not feel intimidated by your husband, I can't see that they would object so long as it is clearly your preference.

Pineapplewaves · 09/08/2023 18:35

At my GP you can have anyone in the room with you - the nurse pulls a curtain around the bed so they can't see - I've had my toddler sat in his pushchair and talked to him through the curtain.

I'm in Central Scotland, must just be your GP practice. I wouldn't want my partner present though!

LadinLee · 09/08/2023 18:37

In Scotland (except during the covid years) you can have a trusted person present to support you during any medical appointments IF NEEDED.
However your medical appointment is private to you and not a family outing (you'd be amazed how many people some patients bring along). HCPs are very aware of the need for confidentiality and privacy with patients, some people will answer a question differently if s relative is present, and therefore this should be on a needs only basis.
If you explain you need support from DH it will be fine.

AgnesX · 09/08/2023 18:40

No idea I'm sorry. I didn't ask. He wouldn't expect (or want) to be there.

Is there a need for your partner to be there like language difficulties or learning disabilities?

Original poster
Vonbo · 09/08/2023 18:43

Thanks
Did you have to explain why he was attending
I don't think I should have to explain

OP posts:
LadinLee · 09/08/2023 18:47

You don't need to explain the reason OP.
But you need to say you need someone to accompany you.

Original poster
Vonbo · 09/08/2023 19:01

AgnesX · 09/08/2023 18:40

No idea I'm sorry. I didn't ask. He wouldn't expect (or want) to be there.

Is there a need for your partner to be there like language difficulties or learning disabilities?

The need is I WANT HIM there.
That is need enough
Don't you think.
At my age ( 63) I think I can decide for myself what I NEED

OP posts:
Original poster
Vonbo · 09/08/2023 19:03

LadinLee · 09/08/2023 18:37

In Scotland (except during the covid years) you can have a trusted person present to support you during any medical appointments IF NEEDED.
However your medical appointment is private to you and not a family outing (you'd be amazed how many people some patients bring along). HCPs are very aware of the need for confidentiality and privacy with patients, some people will answer a question differently if s relative is present, and therefore this should be on a needs only basis.
If you explain you need support from DH it will be fine.

I have checked the NHS guidance since posting this.

It's quite clear.
I can have anyone there I want to have there.
My want, is need enough thank you very much

OP posts:
Original poster
Vonbo · 09/08/2023 19:05

standys · 09/08/2023 18:31

Provided the nurse does not feel intimidated by your husband, I can't see that they would object so long as it is clearly your preference.

Why would a nurse feel intimidated by a patient's loving husband of almost 30 years.
I don't get your drift

OP posts:
Original poster
Vonbo · 09/08/2023 19:06

Restinggoddess · 09/08/2023 17:22

Is there a reason you are having your DP in the room whilst you have a smear?

Never had DP present - never thought to ask
Perhaps the staff think you are being controlled

I don't need to give a reason other than I want him there.

OP posts:
FiftyNotNifty · 09/08/2023 19:09

I am not saying at all that this is your situation OP, but having a husband there would raise red flags around abuse/control I'd imagine.
I'm sure tho that it is absolutely your right to have him there.

Ivegotsunshineinabag · 09/08/2023 19:10

Yeah, but, also, why?

Is in the waiting room not close enough? Does he want to see you have a speculum inserted up your vag?

FiftyNotNifty · 09/08/2023 19:14

I know you don't NEED to give a reason, but if you did it might help people, including the nurse, understand?

standys · 09/08/2023 19:18

Vonbo · 09/08/2023 19:05

Why would a nurse feel intimidated by a patient's loving husband of almost 30 years.
I don't get your drift

Show quote history

You are deliberately misunderstanding me. I am the one who first mentioned your right to someone present in the NHS charter. I am only trying to help. You have to simply make it clear you want him there.

craigth162 · 09/08/2023 19:18

You seem to have an attitude.

Im sure the nurse would be quite happy if u need support but they wpuld also as pp said want to ensure you arent being controlled or abused in any way. I cant think a smear test is much of a spectator event.

VinEtFromage · 09/08/2023 19:19

You're very chippy, people are only trying to help.

craigth162 · 09/08/2023 19:20

A nurse may well be intimidated when trying to do her sensitive job while having someone who for all she knows may be abusive standing over her shoulder. He could be threatening or violent.