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Original poster

Advice please

57 replies

Vonbo · 09/08/2023 17:19

So lived in England
Had no issues having husband/partner present at Smear test.

In Scotland, it seems to be like a taboo subject and when I asked the question it was brushed under the carpet

So can any lady living on Scotland please advise as to whether women in Scotland attending for a smeat test can have a.partner present

OP posts:
standys · 09/08/2023 19:22

Quote pineapplewaves: I've had my toddler sat in his pushchair and talked to him through the curtain.
Me too many years ago. I remember the nurse saying to him 'Don't worry I am not hurting Mummy' lol. Needs must.

craigth162 · 09/08/2023 19:22

VinEtFromage · 09/08/2023 19:19

You're very chippy, people are only trying to help.

This!!!

If you ask for him to attend and say its due to additional support needs on your part or due to previous trauma etc you will get lots of support im sure from GP . If you just sound arsey and say I WANT HIM THERE you are likely to get their backs up

FiftyNotNifty · 09/08/2023 19:40

Without an explanation it will just seem like control /abuse and you put the HCP in an awkward situation.

mellongoose · 09/08/2023 19:52

You might want/need him there (they are not the same thing btw), but you also need to accept that it is an unusual request.

Explaining a bit more to us here might help someone more knowledgeable than me to help you explain it to them.

frolp · 09/08/2023 20:17

Their concern is likely to be why you are asking for this. Are you being coerced? Is your partner worried you might disclose abuse?

If you genuinely want him to be there (rather than him wanting him to be there), you should ask and explain why.

It's a medical procedure and your nurse won't want an audience!

AgnesX · 09/08/2023 20:20

Vonbo · 09/08/2023 19:01

The need is I WANT HIM there.
That is need enough
Don't you think.
At my age ( 63) I think I can decide for myself what I NEED

Show quote history

If you're 63 you'll know there's a difference between WANT and NEED so wind your neck in.

Behave like that in the surgery and you'll be shown the door. Be nice and they probably couldn't care less.

largeagegapWLW · 09/08/2023 20:24

I don't think at age 63 they'll offer you a smear test.

twoandcooplease · 09/08/2023 21:04

Ivegotsunshineinabag · 09/08/2023 19:10

Yeah, but, also, why?

Is in the waiting room not close enough? Does he want to see you have a speculum inserted up your vag?

Yes, why??

Musicaltheatremum · 09/08/2023 22:30

largeagegapWLW · 09/08/2023 20:24

I don't think at age 63 they'll offer you a smear test.

Up to 65 in Scotland now. Aligned with England.

dementedpixie · 09/08/2023 22:36

The rooms are tiny if they're anything like the one I was in for my smear recently. Does he really need to be in the room with you?

standys · 09/08/2023 22:54

dementedpixie · 09/08/2023 22:36

The rooms are tiny if they're anything like the one I was in for my smear recently. Does he really need to be in the room with you?

A normal GP's surgery or nurse's room is not tiny.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 09/08/2023 23:04

I had a smear last month (NE Scotland) and the nurse asked if I wanted a chaperone. I’m sure I could have said yes, my DP please if I had wanted to. I had to get a tooth extracted a few years ago and my dentist actually suggested I bring him to hold my hand because I was so nervous. (I suspect he would rather have a smear himself than do either of these things.)

I think - and absolutely not suggesting this is OP’s situation - medical staff are often looking out for red flags/women might not want to speak in front of their partner so it’s not necessarily the norm. I remember years back making a stupid joke about my DP murdering me in my sleep if I couldn’t get rid of the annoying cough I was at the surgery for, and the doctor was immediately on high alert and asked me if I was concerned for my safety.

largeagegapWLW · 09/08/2023 23:10

@Musicaltheatremum I didn't know they had raised the age. Think i last had one done around age 48 and was told that i wouldn't get asked again. Should i raise it with my gp?

dementedpixie · 09/08/2023 23:12

Think its age 25-64 and is every 5 years now.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 09/08/2023 23:18

It’s definitely 25-64 and every five years here at least - I just went and looked at the leaflet I got.

dementedpixie · 09/08/2023 23:21

It was every 3 years until they started checking for hpv first and then it changed to 5 yearly.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 09/08/2023 23:28

Yes - I got a Mirena coil fitted last year and the doctor there asked if I was up to date with smears and I said I thought I had missed one with Covid. She explained exactly that.

Octosaurus · 09/08/2023 23:30

Is this actually the husband / partner pretending to be a woman because he doesn't believe his gf/ wife about partners not being present at smear? What a weird question nobody takes their partner in...

Thatboymum · 09/08/2023 23:31

AgnesX · 09/08/2023 20:20

If you're 63 you'll know there's a difference between WANT and NEED so wind your neck in.

Behave like that in the surgery and you'll be shown the door. Be nice and they probably couldn't care less.

Show quote history

This!! I wants don’t always get. God love the nurse doing the test with ops attitude problem

Marmalady75 · 09/08/2023 23:42

Octosaurus · 09/08/2023 23:30

Is this actually the husband / partner pretending to be a woman because he doesn't believe his gf/ wife about partners not being present at smear? What a weird question nobody takes their partner in...

Sounds like a reverse tbh, especially with the attitude. I’ve never heard of anyone wanting their dp in with them, never mind actually taking them in.

Dropthedonkey · 10/08/2023 00:42

Actually I'm quite tempted to bring dh along now; he should get to see some of the shit I've had to put up with as a woman throughout my life!

AndyMcFlurry · 10/08/2023 00:47

Octosaurus · 09/08/2023 23:30

Is this actually the husband / partner pretending to be a woman because he doesn't believe his gf/ wife about partners not being present at smear? What a weird question nobody takes their partner in...

I wondered too, with that attitude……

TitoMojito · 10/08/2023 08:34

Octosaurus · 09/08/2023 23:30

Is this actually the husband / partner pretending to be a woman because he doesn't believe his gf/ wife about partners not being present at smear? What a weird question nobody takes their partner in...

It's beginning to sound that way.

GenieGenealogy · 10/08/2023 08:38

TitoMojito · 09/08/2023 18:22

I'm in Scotland. I've never heard of a partner attending a smear test.

Exactly this. It's not a "taboo subject", it's just that it is very far from the norm to have anyone with you when you have a smear. It's just you, and the health professional.

caramacyears · 10/08/2023 08:58

If a partner can watch a woman go through with childbirth, I don't see why they shouldn't be there when you have a smear

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