Kissed my Brother in Law

[Kittycat11]

First message

Bit of background am single have been on and off for 9 yrs
Am the third wheel with my sister and her partner
Me and her partner have similar music tastes so sometimes we go to gigs just the two of us last night being one of those nights

He is tea total so always drives we went for dinner then the gig i drank more than usual so was a bit flirty and when he dropped me off i always give him a cuddle and say thanks but this time i kissed him and i mean kissed him he didnt pull away at first but then stopped it

I kinda laughed and got out the car quick ive felt like shit all day it is so out of character for me we always have a laugh when we go out but ive stepped well over the line here

I texted him earlier and apoligised and he was his usual cool self telling me not to worry and it was our secret

I feel sick i love my sister to bits and i dont think he will say but am dreading meeting up with them

What a first post lol Help

What exactly do you want us to say OP?

Don’t ever see him again without your sister

Stop drinking if you can’t control yourself

Ask yourself how you’d feel if your sister lunged at your partner?

Good advice.

I'm afraid if you're hoping people will tell you it's not that bad, you've come to the wrong place.

Gosh, I’ve never cuddled my brother in law. Boundaries!! 🫤

You're the absolute worst type of person.

Blaming alcohol, getting 'flirty' but you can't help it of course, drunkenly lunging at your sisters dp (and let's face it, if he was responsive you would have went much further), then forcing him into the position of choosing to tell the truth and blow your sisters world up, or lying to her. Then you come and post about it 'lol'ing as if it's hilarious and you just want a gossip and everyone to say it's no big deal.

Stop drinking for a start. Tell your sister as well, it's the only fair thing to do so she can decide if you're worth having a relationship with. Definitely don't go to anymore gigs or anywhere else alone with him.

You got flirty with your sister's husband then kissed him!
I can't even describe the betrayal I would feel if you were my sister

If you were my sister you would be dead to me for doing that. Of all the betrayals. And blaming drink too....I have been plenty drunk and never kissed anyone my sister has been with. The lowest of the low you have stooped. I hope your hangover and guilt are crippling you today.

This is awful!

The betrayal your sister would feel and I'm sure she would never trust you again! This is one of the worst betrayals.

You can't blame your drinking either! It's your responsibility to get your drinking under control!

Just so you are aware coming up with a very dramatic scenario for a first post will be seen as fiction by a large proportion of mumsnet.

What are you hoping to get out of posting apart from to wind people up?

It's a kind of strange one for Scotsnet too, which is usually very much all things life in Scotland

Why would you do this and to your sister of all people? Why are you the third wheel their relationship? Why do you think drinking makes this anymore acceptable?

You need to get your own life? I suspect that you are jealous of your sister and the live she has. Trying to proof that you are as attractive and desirable as her perhaps.

You need to ever meet this man again without her.

You also need to give up drinking. Not because it is the reason, you did this. You didn't do it because of drink, you did it because you wanted to. I just think when you behave like an asshole, you shouldn't get to enjoy nice things!!

Grow up, address your self esteem issues, get your own life instead of living vicariously through your sister and stop being so self centred.

I get drunk and never kiss anyone. It's really not that hard.

You would have shagged your sisters partner.

There are no words for what you are really.

'It's our secret' absolutely effing not. Your poor sister. I've never drunkenly kissed someone and I've been very drunk. That was a choice you made now you've both made a choice to keep it a secret.

Scum, the pair of you.

The fact you even refer yourself as the third wheel. You knew what you were doing,

That's nice dear.

Is kissing your 'BIL' somehow different in Scotland??

Wow, ffs is that really necessary.

Yikes. You’re a shitty sister.

Ok, your consequences are that you now can no longer go to any concerts with him and cannot see him without your sister there. Trying to steal what your sister has is really not on, get some self esteem and boundaries.

In the wildly unlikely scenario that this is real, it being your secret is another betrayal. One you will perpetrate continually until you're all dead.

You need to consider owning up. And going teetotal to prove your taking it seriously.

I'd still not forgive either of you.

You are a horrible sister. If I found out my sister had done something like this to me I'd not speak to her ever again. I am very close to all my sister's. You should cut back your drinking.

Not good is it

i drank more than usual so was a bit flirty

You make it sound as if getting flirty is a natural universal uncontrollable result if alcohol.

It isn’t.

It’s also bad that he said ‘it’s our secret’. He should have said ‘it wasn’t OK, don’t let it happen again’.

You know it is all kinds of wrong.

Grow up, think carefully about your attitudes and behaviour and learn from this before you damage the lives of those you love.

He said it's " our secret" don't expect him to keep it to himself. It sounds like he intends to use your secret in the future to use against you.

This!!

You need to tell your sister what you did