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Original poster

Education for my son

50 replies

NightfeedsandNetflix · 07/02/2022 06:05

Currently posted to Kinloss after having our Oxford posting cancelled. Have a teen son aged 17 who was all set to start a football academy course in Oxford. This obviously is a no go now.

I'm agonising over how to tell tell him the sad news as he has been so excited to leave Brunei and get on this course.

Also I am unfamiliar with the Scottish education system. He will have completed his IGCSE upon our return to the U.K.

The rest of the family are more then happy with the posting.

OP posts:
Groovee · 07/02/2022 06:34

I'd maybe look into local colleges to see what can be offered. A few of my families at work are moving to Kinloss. So I only really know about nursery age in the transition.

TottersBlankly · 07/02/2022 06:41

Why can your son not take up the football academy place?

17 is more than old enough to live away from home where necessary. Could you not make arrangements for him to live with responsible adults in Oxford?

It seems a shame to miss out on what sounds like an exciting opportunity. (Though I have no knowledge of, or opinion on, the actual course referred to.)

TottersBlankly · 07/02/2022 06:47

Just to state the obvious, the city of Oxford generally seems to be about 95% teens living away from home. Crammers, language students, au pairs - before one even begins to think of undergraduates.

Let him go! There’ll be a million other 17 year olds living away from home, too.

Original poster
NightfeedsandNetflix · 07/02/2022 07:03

@TottersBlankly

Just to state the obvious, the city of Oxford generally seems to be about 95% teens living away from home. Crammers, language students, au pairs - before one even begins to think of undergraduates.

Let him go! There’ll be a million other 17 year olds living away from home, too.

I think he is more then capable of managing solo. But then it's funding this? I had to give up my job to move to Brunei (spouses don't get visas to work). I have just had a baby too so we will be living off one wage for a while longer.
OP posts:
TottersBlankly · 07/02/2022 07:14

Hmm … The 17 year old seems to be lowest on the list of priorities.

I’m officially ancient and can tell you with still visceral accuracy that 17 /18 is a terrible age to face significant disappointment. It’s not something you forget.

I don’t know how football academies work or how places are usually funded. Do all the students usually live locally? Otherwise, might they have advice and guidance on other ways of enabling a student to attend?

(Of course, if there’s a better football academy in Kinloss that’s an option. But Oxford would be a lot of fun.)

Sorry - I’ll stop monopolising your thread now!

Bratnews · 07/02/2022 09:03

Timing is not great for switching to the Scottish system. Unless you go private then your son will switch to Scottish highers rather than A levels if he is continuing in education. Typically a student would chose 5 highers and study them over one academic year - these are the exams that are critical for university admission, then the following year more highers and/or advanced highers if he stays for 6th year.

patritus · 07/02/2022 09:28

Your son will go into S5 in school here where he will sit Scottish Highers which is a 1 year course. He will be amongst the oldest in year as most will only be 16 at the start. He may be able to go into S6 to keep with his age group as many still do Highers in S6, you could ask the school.

The other option is to go to college in Moray or Inverness (both come under UHI). He could do Highers there, although many of the colleges allow maximum of 3, or take a more vocational course eg. Sport, computing

patritus · 07/02/2022 09:59

I should mention that if he does Highers at college he will be with a wide age range. Many will be adult returners who need qualifications for university.
Most young people in Scotland do Highers in school not college.

Vocational courses at college are more likely to have lots of young school leavers.

FelicityPike · 07/02/2022 10:05

Wow that’s a tricky move for him.
The school systems don’t blend very well (but it’s not impossible).
Then throw into the mix his age, the fact he’s not being allowed to do the course he really wants to, a new baby and a big move……I really feel for him.

Original poster
NightfeedsandNetflix · 07/02/2022 10:59

@TottersBlankly

Hmm … The 17 year old seems to be lowest on the list of priorities.

I’m officially ancient and can tell you with still visceral accuracy that 17 /18 is a terrible age to face significant disappointment. It’s not something you forget.

I don’t know how football academies work or how places are usually funded. Do all the students usually live locally? Otherwise, might they have advice and guidance on other ways of enabling a student to attend?

(Of course, if there’s a better football academy in Kinloss that’s an option. But Oxford would be a lot of fun.)

Sorry - I’ll stop monopolising your thread now!

Do you think military families choose their postings? Is it our fault government cut backs have meant they have decided to close the Oxford camp down after already telling us that was our next destination?

My son only found that course after we were told we were moving there.

If you can tell how I can fund college accommodation in Oxford I would be very grateful. I have savings but not enough to fund accommodation and day to day living for my son. We have 3 other children to support.

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 07/02/2022 11:06

Might the football thing use team parents? People approved that your son can lodge with? Maybe contact them and query your options.

Saffy321 · 07/02/2022 11:08

Could he get a part time job to contribute?

Legoisthebest · 07/02/2022 11:10

Does the football course count as full time education? If yes you would be entitled to child benefit for him - which is around £85 a month. You could find a family that offers a room to (school age) students. Often schemes that do this it's usually the child living with the family as a 'family member' so they aren't charging rent for the room but you could offer the £85 to go towards food etc.
I don't know of any specific schemes that run this but you could ask the college for advice. Churches sometimes have families that offer rooms. I'm not sure what military links there are in Oxford area these days to see if you can get information from them. Brize Norton is near Oxford (RAF) so they might have some advice.

TottersBlankly · 07/02/2022 11:14

No, I completely understand about the posting!

And I do see that the unexpected change must be difficult for you.

But 3 other children to support is a rubbish reason to give a 17 year old for snatching a prize from them. And you’re right - it would only be accommodation and living costs - if the academy is anywhere like this procisionfa.com/ where tuition and training are free. Presumably entry is competitive?

I wonder if there might be charity funding available?

Or a football academy equivalent closer to your new posting?

(I’m not trying to be obstreperous, truly. But you have posted on an open forum! And I know from personal experience through two generations that it’s an awful age to find oneself disrupted and frustrated. It resonates across decades.)

Original poster
NightfeedsandNetflix · 07/02/2022 11:34

@TottersBlankly

No, I completely understand about the posting!

And I do see that the unexpected change must be difficult for you.

But 3 other children to support is a rubbish reason to give a 17 year old for snatching a prize from them. And you’re right - it would only be accommodation and living costs - if the academy is anywhere like this procisionfa.com/ where tuition and training are free. Presumably entry is competitive?

I wonder if there might be charity funding available?

Or a football academy equivalent closer to your new posting?

(I’m not trying to be obstreperous, truly. But you have posted on an open forum! And I know from personal experience through two generations that it’s an awful age to find oneself disrupted and frustrated. It resonates across decades.)

3 other children is a rubbish reason? Okaaaay

Can I just clarify this is a self elected course. He hasn't been plucked out by football scouts and won some sort of scholarship. It's a sports course, where a chunk of it is playing football. My son simply loves playing sport. Not studying. The qualifications go towards being a coach (something he has no desire to do) and not much else. He says after the course he plans to do an apprenticeship in a trade or join the Army.

However I absolutely want him to follow his heart and do all the things he desires before being laden with responsibility but at the same time I have to be realistic.

OP posts:
patritus · 07/02/2022 11:48

Ok so if he's not looking at school would he be interested in either of these courses?
He'd need to act quickly as applications will be open now.

www.moray.uhi.ac.uk/courses/scqf-level-6-sport-and-fitness-college-certificate/

www.inverness.uhi.ac.uk/courses/scqf-level-6-sport-studies/#tabanchor

Superjaggy · 07/02/2022 12:06

There are plenty opportunities to play football around Kinloss, there are Junior League and Highland League teams in Forres and Elgin City in the SPFL.

I think contacting UHI/ Moray College would be a good plan for the education side of things but you could also phone Forres Academy and ask to speak to a guidance teacher there? It's not unknown for young people to move there in S6. Have you got a welfare officer on camp who could help you?

Good luck with your move Smile

LonelyWeegie · 08/02/2022 05:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShippingNews · 08/02/2022 05:32

The qualifications go towards being a coach (something he has no desire to do) and not much else. He says after the course he plans to do an apprenticeship in a trade or join the Army.

So the course in Oxford is really attractive to him because he loves playing football, and after he is / was finished the course he'll take an apprenticeship in something else ? That puts an entirely different spin on it. You and DH need to have a talk to him about the fact that he can play football as much as he likes when you are living in Kinloss . And that you'll help him to access the apprenticeship he wants , or help him with getting into the Army.

At 17 he is old enough to understand that we don't always get our first choices in life, but that we can make the most of what we do get.

I know what you are going through - I brought my children up in the same system, and sometimes their Dad's job had to force changes in their lives. Good luck .

RussianSpy101 · 08/02/2022 05:33

@NightfeedsandNetflix yes, it is a selfish reason as he didn’t make the choice to have 3 siblings; you did so it’s up to you to find ways for everyone to be happy, not just the majority. The youngest is a baby so surely you considered the financial impact on your existing children?
Do the other 3 all have the same dad? Would his dad help pay for digs for him?

It doesn’t matter whether he has chosen the course or been chosen for the course, the fact is, this is what he wants to do. He has already been moved abroad at a crucial point in his education.

Mistressiggi · 08/02/2022 07:02

Exhaust the opportunities in Kinloss and area first. But if those are not suitable (and presumably there are courses suitable for all the local teens) then you need to look at alternative arrangements - it's only two years, do you all need to make the move north? A teenager will not feel fine about being sacrificed because his parents chose to have 3 other siblings, or his dad chose a certain job.
You sound like you want what's best for him so do consider every option. Have you visited the area at all?

Josephincluded · 08/02/2022 07:11

I read your other thread. How much equity in the Yorkshire house? I’d seriously consider selling it to fund your DS being in Oxford. I take it you’ve checked to see what can be offered in Aberdeen, Inverness and also Gordonstoun. Or you go to Oxford with your DS and the baby and your DH commutes. Again, the Yorkshire house might have to go to fund this.

Lockdownbear · 08/02/2022 07:59

Op I saw your other thread too. The football course sounds a waste of time. Lots of coaches are retired professionals. It just sounds like a time filler until he enters the military.

Let him go to school 5th and 6th in many schools are run together, so some kids in the same Higher PE course will be 5th year and some 6th year.

So he'll be with peers and then he can decide to go to uni or enter the military in a years time.

Legoisthebest · 08/02/2022 08:28

I'm not sure if the apprenticeship schemes are the same in Scotland (I'm in England) but if he has already done his IGCSEs then he could go straight to an apprenticeship. They start at 16 in England so if Scotland is the same he could do that and play football for fun.

WouldBeGood · 08/02/2022 08:45

At seventeen he’s an adult in Scotland. I think I’d be looking at a college up here for something he’d like to do, with a view to an apprenticeship or the military.

The important thing is to keep him engaged with football, college, whatever as rural Scotland is full of the usual traps for disaffected youth, and there’s little to do, unless he enjoys outdoors stuff?