Thoughts on Uni options for a mid performer

[WaxOnFeckOff]

DS2 has gradually got his act together over the last 7/8 months and now does want to apply to Uni, he's interested in History/Modern Studies/Politics/English, has no idea what he wants to do for a job but I've mentioned maybe research type roles in politics and he seemed interested. I think he wants to study something that has some kind of path to a job but he doesn't have the interest or mind for those type of subjects/roles (usually computing/engineering type).

Anyway, now the dilemma. He doesn't have and isn't likely to achieve quite enough for the "top layer" of Uni. He only sat 3 highers and resat his Nat 5 maths in S5 and has ABC at higher A Mods/B English/C Music). He is doing 2 more Highers (History and politics) and AH English this year. He is capable of 2 further As in his highers and who knows in his AH English. He is putting in more effort and enthusiasm than I've ever seen from him. So, best case scenario he has 3 As, a B and C at higher and a pass of some sort in his AH. I think it would be unlikely that he would fail his highers, I think he got an A at Nat 5 in history and obvs he did well in Modern Studies so that would give a good idea of his likely achievement in politics.

Anyway, Edinburgh/Glasgow/Strathclyde etc are likely to be just out of his reach for some type of social science degree as they seem to be looking at AAAA or more. Stirling looks just about in his reach i.e AABBB as does Glasgow Caledonian and then there seems to be a drop to Uni of H&I for example that only looks for BBC.

He is far cleverer than his results would suggest but has suffered with mental health and probably has undiagnosed dyspraxia.

Can anyone suggest any further places that might cater to the level he is likely to get or any thoughts on the quality of the likes of Caledonian? My mind is drawing a blank and UCAS search didn't help. To me he should be going for Stirling but I think he wants the option to move away after 1st year. I've said that currently living within walking distance doesn't mean that he can't still move out... :)

The school should realise that with Developing the Young Workforce we are judged just as much on positive destinations and the sustainability of those. It is easy for schools with high attaining young people and involved parents to rest on their laurels though.

I would be asking them to consider his personal statement and the reference they write for your son. It should, with your son’s permission, explain his apparent academic underperformance (although actually he has done well) and talk about his potential with the correct support.

I would disagree with your DH but I know where he is coming from. Young people now are likely to have at least five jobs in their working lives so we tend to place unreasonable weight on deciding what job to do when actually we should be asking about skills and qualities.

Let me know if I can be of any practical help. I am about to immerse myself in the whole UCAS process for the next three months!

I might be totally off beam here, and if so please ignore me....

But are you sure that uni is the right place for him right now?

Because if hes lacking in confidence and motivation then he may struggle. Being away from home doing a course you don’t really care about in a place you dont really like - not ideal.

Would he benefit from getting a job for a year or two ? His exam results are good for 5 years so there’s no rush. He might enjoy uni a lot more when hes 20 with sone confidence and money under his belt (and hopefully some better treatment for his skin problems) .

Apologies if this is irrelevant, just my thoughts.

Thanks both.

Rosemary we are not wedded to any options for him. We've said we will support him in anything other than lying in his bed. He can go to Uni, college, get a job, get an apprenticeship, save money and go travelling etc. However, if he doesn't apply for uni then he can't just decide next year that he fancies going after all. I've said that if he has an application in then changes his mind about going, about what course he would want or where he'd like to go, then it can still be possible to see what is available via clearing etc. All we as parents really want is for our DC to be happy and support themselves. Certainly at the beginning of this year it wouldn't have been on the cards at all and his mood and motivation were low. However he really picked himself up, passed 3 highers, got a B in the nat 5 maths that he got no award in in S4 and is now enthusiastic about his current subjects. he is voluntarily working his way through many classics and read Ulysses while we were on holiday. He's also sorted out his diet and lost nearly 3 stone (gone from a 38 waist down to nearly a 32). He goes out walking with his music nearly every day. He is a changed boy from the one who went to pastoral care at school and told then he was depressed. His issues with his skin are far more in his own head now, yes he has scarring and it is bad enough for NHS to approve treatment, but it's not the first thing you notice about him. He is a very handsome boy (well more pretty than handsome) even if I say so myself. We are working on helping him to see and accept himself whilst at the same time looking for anything that would help. he is just struggling to know what he wants to do with his life and stressing about not knowing and i'm trying to get him to think in the shorter term. To give you an example of what he does, he's been taking driving lessons for a few weeks, instructor says he's doing really well, he says he is terrified, instructor is bemused as he drives well and seems very capable. He goes out today (lesson 5) and is driving at 60 in 5th gear on NSL roads and had a grin from ear to ear when he got back. He says he feels stressed about people behind him being annoyed if he stalls the car, i've said "fuck what they might or might not be thinking, everyone has to learn and whatever they are thinking can't hurt you anyway" I hope he is getting the message!

Passme for some reason his allocated staff member for his support for UCAS etc is a Maths teacher. I hope they are getting info from the Social subjects team as he's had the same teacher (for Modern Studies/history and now politics and history) since about S2 and she seems really good and they get on well (as a consequence he loves those subjects and does well).

I also know where DH is coming from and I've probably been guilty of it in the past too. We both grew up in poverty with no access to the opportunities the DC have so I guess we've always emphasised the need to choose a subject that leads to a job. This method is fine for DS1 who is skilled in Maths/computing/engineering type things but doesn't work so readily with DS2 who doesn't do well if he's not interested and isn't interested in more practical subjects. I think he just needs time to grow up and mature and I don't really care what he chooses as long as it's something that he has a chance of being successful in as that will help his mood and confidence.

DH left school after standard grades and went to City of Glasgow college for 2 years then to Caley. His was a design subject.

Has he been to any open days? DH didn’t even realise he could have a career out of drawing until he visited the college. He’s intelligent and creative but not “academic” in English/maths/science sense.

waxon it sounds like your boy has a lot to deal with been a teenager can be a pile of poop sometimes.

MrsJayy It can indeed. :(

They have so much more opportunity than we did but also so much more pressure. They feel that they are supposed to be having the time of their lives and making the most of all these opportunities but some of them just aren't ready.

We didn't do the open day but we had a good day, successful driving lesson, he bought a few new songs for his ipod and went for a walk, we cleared out his drawers of all the stuff that's too big for him and I treated him to a couple of new pairs of jeans, I told him what my suggestions for uni were for him to have a look at and DH has insured him on our car for tomorrow and he's going to take him for some driving practice. He's got his music lesson tomorrow and I have a lead on somewhere to try micro-needling but will need to wait to next week to enquire.

That’s a huge amount of weight to lose, well done to him. That needs a lot of determination and self motivation for anyone, let alone a teenager.

Exactly and I have to keep reminding him of that. He's 6'2 so he carried the extra pretty well but he looks much better now. He says it was pretty easy. He's no idea really that I'd really been controlling the day to day food but he was controlling the snacks and exercise and that's a big thing for someone who's brother eats twice as much, moves less and is like a rake!

I have a confident, self-assured DD at Edinburgh, and a quiet, Autistic DS at Abertay.

Edinburgh Uni is a minefield to navigate and students can feel very lonely and confused. There are lots of students who come from monied international families and have very different life experiences.

Abertay is small, friendly and has a 'collegey' feel. There's load of places to stay within spitting distance of the main buildings and all are within a short walk of the bus and train stations. The support staff at Abertay are great and my son has been well looked after.

Thanks chocolate, it's definitely horses for courses and it sounds like your two have both found their niche and that's what it's all about. :)

He's going to this UCAS thing tomorrow and reckons it's a waste of time as it's not really his thing.... he's not really shy but he is a bit self conscious and says he has no idea what to say to them or what he is going to do. I've given him suggestions such as just saying what he is interested in and ask what courses they would recommend, mention his current results and ask if they think it's worth applying, ask how they treat an AH in terms of admission, ask about specific content such as what history periods are covered etc, ask about study abroad etc. I've said the people on the stall will be delighted to answer and get the opportunity to sell their uni and if he feels he's made a tit of himself they wont take notes and deny him a place! Anything I'm missing? I told him to take a look at the places I've suggested or any others he thinks might be worth a go and to try and get a feel for the uni/college

Sounds like great advice to me wax, especially focusing on getting as much out of the Uni reps as he can rather than trying to sell himself - definitely helps with the self-consciousness. Having a similar problem with trying to persuade DD1 to write something / anything at all which might just about pass for a personal statement.

thanks how about. Also added to ask about their offer rates for Scottish students and about employment rates for the courses he is interested in. Of course it will all be a waste of time and I suspect I will get a call to pick him up (it's peeing down) about half an hour after he gets there. I've encouraged him to get in tow with a friend that might be looking at similar options that might be a bit more confident.

Good luck with the personal statements, he apparently handed in a draft in June but I have no idea what he put in it

Ds' Pastoral Care teacher refused to look at his PS until one of his parents had cast an eye over it.

He made massive progress from the first draft to the final draft - so much so that she was going to use it as an example of the difference for those completing their UCAS forms this year (so he told me). I'm sure it was a factor in him getting two Unconditionals ("Wordy" subject - PIR - so thought processes and ability to communicate important).

Part of the problem is that DD1 is applying for Maths / Physics and completely fits the non-wordy profile. She has the grades and is a girl at 40% SIMD 1 school so half of me concurs with her that less is probably more. [confuse]

Ds was going to be applying for Maths/Physics/Astrophysics right up until summer 2017

Fortunately he'd already started crashing Higher Modern Studies so at least had one vaguely relevant subject (in addition to his PS). (He actually ended up with the AH Maths prize which he couldn't collect as he was already up in Aberdeen )

One way to look at the PS is as practice at learning to sell yourself. Even if it's for a course/preferred Uni that doesn't really look at them, it will help in years to come when they have to put together CVs for jobs.

That's what I keep telling her pretty

Well done to your DS for sticking with the AH Maths.

It helped that he only got his rejection from Edinburgh (where he wanted to do PIR jointly with Quantitative Methods - so directly using his Maths) in March, by which time it was so close to the exams that he thought there was no point in wasting the work that he'd already put in.

He did sacrifice his AH Physics in favour of his Modern Studies exam (which was the day after Physics) and only got a C in that (but the desired As for Maths and Physics).

well done on the Maths prize PB :)

DS is at the UCAS thing with his list of questions (I gave him) just waiting on a call to collect him and then I can navigate all the fallen trees and debris (again)to go and get him as it's not really the day for walking home! DS1s train from Glasgow stopped between Stirling and BofA, then carried on but didn't stop at his station so I had to then drive up and collect him and take him back to station to get his car as trains were then cancelled! It's wild out there.

Hope he gets something out of it

...and that you both get home safely

Home safe, he quite enjoyed it. Supposed to be 30 from his school but only 4 made it. He found it useful and now fancies Ulster!

Good stuff. Certainly would meet the criteria of being away from home.

It would. Though he has just asked me how much fees cost as guy said there was a reduction for scottish students. I said normally over £9k a year to which he gave a big gulp! Looks like there is a £2k reduction and it's only 3 years not 4 I suppose. I said we'd do same as offered DS1, pay for accommodation or travel and fees and living would be down to him. In practice i've not stopped DS1s £50 a month pocket money so we'll probably just continue that and we pay for phones etc too. It's up to him really, we need to look properly at what his results equal to as might not meet the criteria. Also he's chuffed that he spoke to Highlands and Islands and he already has enough to get in. He said the highest that he was looking for the places suggested was AABB which he feels is achievable (has ABC and is doing 2 highers in strong subjects for him plus an AH). I;ve been telling him this for months right enough, but what do I know....

I'd basically put aside a policy for Uni, it's matured and it means they have about £15k to play with. It's not a fortune but will obviously cover a lot and is better than a lot of students will have. DS1s will need to cover 4 years and he potentially could move out and have rent at some point so more expensive than his travel. Which, after this year will double (no young scot card discount) and be about £200 a month. plus I'm still feeding him I guess.