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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

Original poster

SAHM - Do you do all the school runs

70 replies

Cookskitchen · 13/03/2023 17:49

Just a quick question really.

What do other SAHP do?
As the SAHP do you do ALL the school runs. As in 5 days a week morning and afternoon?

I pretty much do, husband works 8.30-5 and is working from home but also travels with work I would say on average 3 days a week.
I am a SAHP, 3 kids 6,5 and 3 - I do a couple of social media/marketing things in the day, very much at mine owe will.

I’m just asking as someone comment on it, basically referring to my husband in a negative way. They questioned that they haven’t seen him in a while… ”does he ever help you with the kids?!” (Then sort of laughing!)
To which I didn’t really respond (Monday morning!)

Just to add I see the school runs as part of my “job” with the kids and my husband does and would help if needed/asked too.

OP posts:
Rockfordpeach · 13/03/2023 18:24

Yes I do them all but DP leaves at 7.30 and isn't back until at least 5. If he's home early he will go and pick up DS because he enjoys it

iwontforgetyoumyfriendwhathappened · 13/03/2023 18:25

Just want to add that although MY husband does most of the school runs I don't think it's fair that the person commented on it to you. It's your marriage and your family, it's nobody else's business.
Do what works for you and your family and to heck with what anyone else thinks.

confusedlots · 13/03/2023 18:27

Not a SAHM, but work part time. When we're both working, the kids go to an early breakfast club which is separate to school, and we take it in turns to drop them off, well usually I drop off 2 days and he does 1 day. Then on the 2 days I don't work I drop them to school as they don't go to the breakfast club and so the timings don't work for him to do a drop off.

In fact, DH leaving them to breakfast club has become a relatively new thing. I suddenly realised that things should be more equal on the days we both work. But the main reason I work part time is to be there for the kids, so it makes sense for me to do the drop offs on those days

gogohmm · 13/03/2023 18:29

I did 99% + of all the school runs and clubs, it's pay off for being a sahm and working part time. Exh picked up the slack if I had to go out of town eg a funeral, had a hospital appointment a couple of times but yes, in the whole of all schooling (adults now) including boarding school drop off for dd2 I think I did all but a couple of dozen.

drpet49 · 13/03/2023 18:30

fuzzbearpenguin · 13/03/2023 18:06

I'd assume that the school runs were part of the job of being a sahp?

This

Unicornsparkle1000 · 13/03/2023 18:32

I am a sahm and do all the drop offs pick ups, my dh works so isn't able to. Part of being a sahm is to do all the drop offs and pick ups

Hayliebells · 13/03/2023 18:32

It’s really odd for that parent to comment, unless she thought you worked too. So many parents are WFH now so it’s difficult to tell who is doing the school run because they are a SAHP, or WFH. Even so, it’s still completely none of her business, so I’d just ignore her.

Marymary987 · 13/03/2023 18:34

Yes, my dh is out of the house 7-7 so never does them unless I’m ill.

RhubarbFairy · 13/03/2023 18:44

When I was a SAHP, I did them all, unless my DH was off work, and then he'd do one or the other (or sometimes both) just because he didn't often have the opportunity. I continued with both when I started working and found work to fit around it as DHs office was 25 miles away, and he couldn't do it.

With lockdown came him WFH full time, so an opportunity for me to increase my hours.

Now I do the morning school run as I drop DS on my way to work, and DH does the afternoon one as I'm still at work. He has the time blocked out in his daily diary and goes back to work when they get home.

Ours are older now, in years 7 and 5, so that helps. DS1 walks to and from school independently, and DS2 will too from September.

Ignore anyone who makes stupid comments. They're also likely to be the type to snark at parents who use wraparound care that it's 'nice to see them for a change' on occasions they are in the playground.

Caterina99 · 13/03/2023 18:49

When I was a sahm I did 99% of them. DH would do them if he was off work or I had an appointment or something, but that was rare.

The mums that I know are sahm at my kids school definitely do all the school runs. It’s very rare to see the dad.

same as my single friend works full time so her mum takes her DD to school for her. Very occasionally I see my friend, presumably when she has the day off or her mum really can’t make it.

Blankspace35 · 13/03/2023 18:51

Im a sahp, my husband is a lorry driver and leaves between 4am and 6am and a 12 hour day is a short one, he only gets to do school runs if hes got holiday days

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 13/03/2023 18:55

I did virtually every school run, i loved it and its one of those things i miss the most

dh was working so couldn’t do them, very hands on dad but I personally would have seen it as being a waste of hands on dad time….id much rather he was home to wrangle them while i had a bath 😀 or get them from their after school clubs

stealthninjamum · 13/03/2023 19:01

Magentax · 13/03/2023 18:11

I very much saw it as my job but when I was doing the primary school run I sometimes saw dads doing a school run (perhaps wife was away, sick, taking another child somewhere) or watching a netball match during the day.

Perhaps wife was (GASP!) at work?

Sorry I wasn’t clear. I was specifically talking about sahms and their husbands doing pickups. Obviously I know most women work, I would do myself if my Sen kids were less time consuming. I really meant that a lot of my sahm friends were married to men who were happy to do pickups / drop offs. Some times my friends would have a weekend away and the dad would pick the dc up.

HubertTheGoat · 13/03/2023 19:01

Magentax · 13/03/2023 18:11

I very much saw it as my job but when I was doing the primary school run I sometimes saw dads doing a school run (perhaps wife was away, sick, taking another child somewhere) or watching a netball match during the day.

Perhaps wife was (GASP!) at work?

Exactly, what a very odd comment. I agree it's in the SAHP job description but in reality the vast majority of parents at both my kids' school nd where I teach work and there are roughly equal numbers of mums, dads and grandparents collecting.

HubertTheGoat · 13/03/2023 19:02

stealthninjamum · 13/03/2023 19:01

Sorry I wasn’t clear. I was specifically talking about sahms and their husbands doing pickups. Obviously I know most women work, I would do myself if my Sen kids were less time consuming. I really meant that a lot of my sahm friends were married to men who were happy to do pickups / drop offs. Some times my friends would have a weekend away and the dad would pick the dc up.

Show quote history

Apologies though, hadn't seen this reply.

HairyToity · 13/03/2023 19:15

When I was a SAHM I did all the school runs.

Noicant · 13/03/2023 19:21

DH drops and I pick up, I will occasionally (like twice a year) do the drop off if he has an early meeting. He likes to spend some time chatting to DD in the morning and will often just finish work after DD has gone to bed so he can spend at least a few hours in the evening with her (not always possible).

Tittyfilarious81 · 13/03/2023 19:21

Yes I did them all

mybunniesandme · 13/03/2023 19:37

Is irrelevant that he's WFH. His contracted hours start at 830 so he shouldn't be doing the school run

As a STAHM the children are your job so to speak.

Xant · 13/03/2023 20:17

Yes. Have done all of them forever. DH doesn’t even know who DC’s teacher is.

prescribingmum · 13/03/2023 20:25

Not SAHM but work between 2-4 days each week so have at least one day not working, usually more. If DH is wfh on my non-working days, he will do some school runs too - kids like him going and he is happy to do so. Helps that school run is a short walk rather than hour round trip in car!

When DS was still in nursery, we used to take one each all week no matter who was working (location meant one of them would be en route to work for both of us)

All pick ups are done by me - my contract is around school hours so I can pick them up

Ahnobother · 13/03/2023 20:52

Another SAHM here. I do 99.9% of them and I enjoy doing them as I get my steps in each day that way and I get out to say hello to a few people.

DH will do the odd morning one now along with me or on his own if he's free but he does long hours so I assume I'm doing all of them unless there is agreement between us that he is.

I hate this kind of poking holes in other peoples lives, I've had it too OP. Unless someone is saying something out of genuine concern for you, take it with a pinch of salt.

JulietBrown · 13/03/2023 20:56

If they’re in school all day, once you’ve done the school run, what else do you do all day?

3littlebeans · 13/03/2023 20:58

Often ime people have other small kids at home or a part time job.

DarkNecessities · 13/03/2023 21:00

Every single one.
If DH was around we would go together