Do I get Dads fiancé something for Mother’s Day?

[Bythefire90]

Hello!

My dads fiancé is a year younger than me, no DC of her/their own, I have 2 DC. She doesn’t make an effort particularly with me or my children but I get on well with my dad so try for him. Should I be getting her anything for Mother’s Day? Moneys tight and I’ve bought my mum some bits but don’t really know if I should his fiancé.

No of course not.

Absolutely not.

Er, no. She isn't your Mam so...

Huh? No.

Nope

Don't be absurd.

Well that’s settled then 😆 😅 never had a ‘step parent’ before and this is the first year they’re engaged and it’s going somewhere so wasn’t sure the protocol.. thanks!

No I wouldn't think so. If you were super close and she'd helped bring you up then it might be a nice gesture, but in your situation no. I'm a step-mum and have been since my DSC were very small, my DH will get me a card which he will write thanking me for all I do for them but nothing would come directly from them as they're are still children and have their mum. If they decided as adults to get me something I would be touched but certainly wouldn't expect it.

What a strange question!

Noooo

I am a step-mum & step-granny and I don't expect my step-daughter to get me anything. She has her own mum to buy for. For what it's worth, I have a great relationship with my step-daughter and her mum.

🤣

Apart from anything else, she makes no effort-why would you?

If she's not very nice, I'd be tempted to buy a 'happy Mother's Day granny card'. 😂

I'd be very weirded out about my Dad being with someone younger than me 🤮

I should add that my step-grandchildren bring me flowers & make me cards

I would, but only as a petty dig about her being younger than you.

I’m a bit of a cow though.

I don’t understand what’s so odd or absurd about the question. People can be mean/harsh when they’re behind a keyboard. It was a woman asking on a forum if it’s expected/suitable or not that I bought my step mother a gift for Mother’s Day, with a brief description that we’re not close for context. A simple, I would/wouldn’t would have been fine in all honesty, if you think it’s an odd question don’t comment, I’ll never get why you’re wasting your time if you don’t understand why someone’s asking the question to then go out of your way to reply with how you don’t understand why they’re asking it, just move on and not waste your time 🤷🏼‍♀️

😂 the younger part does take a lot of getting used to I’ll not lie! Thanks for your replies 😊

You're an adult, she's your dad's partner, not your stepmum. You don't require mothering and you don't owe her anything other than civility.

It's nice that you want to try for your dad. I'd be pretty grossed out by my dad having a partner younger than me.

Also.. I don’t think that she’s necessarily mean, I think she’s just probably a bit out of her depth as she’s got two grown adults as step kids and step grandchildren all of a sudden, she fell in love with my dad, not us, so I don’t hold any grudges that she doesn’t make much of an effort, it’s her missing out and I’m sure as time goes on things might be different 😅

I wouldn't and even if I did consider it I wouldn't as she makes no effort with your children

You are very nice for considering.. But.. Absolutely not.

In my family we send cards to parents, step parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and godparents on mother's and father's days. To me it's normal

She might be offended if you did hahaha

You sound sweet. I think she hasn’t contributed to raising you so she isn’t a “step mum”, she is just a “dads fiancé/wife”.

You can ask your dad that question tho and see what he thinks 🤣!! I think he might be horrified that you see her as a mother figure for yourself and might question is standards a little

We send cards to step parents but they’ve been together a long time and aren’t so similar in age.

If you feel like you want to do something (because you seem really sweet) you could send her some flowers but no card?

As PPs said, it's unnecessary and actually a bit weird to get her a Mother's Day card.

I send a card to my stepmum, but she's been in my life since I was about 5 years old, and we have a good relationship, so while she could never replace my mum, she does have a parental role in my life.

If my dad had a partner that he'd met when I was an adult, I wouldn't consider her my stepmother at all, and it wouldn't even occur to me to give her anything for Mother's Day.