SAHP what do you do about money if your OH works?

[Whatsthatspookynoise]

If you don't have an income, does your working partner give you money for things you need/want?
Or do you share a bank account you can use whenever you want/need?

All the money either of you earn should go into one main shared account out of which all bills, investments, savings etc get paid. Then you have two separate accounts and if you can possibly afford it put an equal monthly allowance into each of them so you both have some spending money you don't have to account to each other.

As a married couple your money is joint money, if your partner is hoarding it, that needs to stop right now. Separate finances only work when you are both earning about the same.

We have a joint account for everyday stuff- food, bills, kids stuff, clothes.
DH puts more money in if the account is low, and puts excess onto savings at end of month.

Works because we have a similar attitude to money really. There has to be a lot of trust both ways with the SAHP scenario.

Joint account. All income (DH’s pay) goes in there. Everything is paid out of there. We both have equal access.

I think joint accounts are the best solution - but they only really work if you both have similar levels of spend/save naturally, or put rules in place that you both stick to.

We do it the same as @Aroundtheworldin80moves. But there’s no right or wrong way, there’s just ‘your’ way, and that’s whatever works best for both of you and your situation The important thing is you both have to be happy with whatever you agree or it won’t work.

We have a shared bank account and credit cards for everyday purchases, food, clothes, dd's stuff, dinners out, etc.
I have my own account that has a certain amount paid in each month I use that for personal stuff like DH's birthday.

You don't have to do it any particular way so long as it's fair. My parents have never had a joint account - my DM pays for things on a credit card during the month and then 'invoices' my DF at the end of the month. They've done it this way forever and it works for them whether my DM was working or not (she hasn't worked for most of that time).

We still have seperate accounts that we had from before we married. Plus an account with joint access that DP puts money in - these are used to pay regular bills. Also we have a joint credit card that can be used for any incidentals like food, petrol, kids stuff - DP pays this off each month (obviously we would discuss if there were any major amounts going on like new washing machine or car repairs). DP also transfers an amount to my current account each month for me to do with as I like - save, clothes, hair, coffees etc. We both have savings in seperate names - he much more than me, but it is considered family money and if we ever talk about finances/planning it is all openly on the table as a resource.

We have a very similar attitude to finance and trust. I consider myself very fortunate.

We have separate accounts and my DH pays into mine each month. He’ll give me more if I ask.

We are a team, he brings home money for the whole family, I cook, clean, parent for the whole family. Works for us, there is no mine/yours arguments

We had a joint bank account from the day we first got married ... we both had access to it, we both can see what the balance is and neither of us is frivolous - massively important that you both have the same approach to money if you have a shared account. But money is the one thing we have never argued over in 30+ years of marriage.

We would run "large" purchases by each other but I wouldn't dream of having to "ask" for money to go out for a meal with friends or buy a new coat for example.

We had a detailed budget and whatever was left was split down the middle to spend on whatever whim we had without having to consult the other.
(Different now because kids are adults and money isn’t tight anymore).

Joint bank account and joint credit card and use whatever I want or need

We don't have a joint account (I was going to get one, then Covid, so delayed) but my wage covers all household bills, food, mortgage etc. My DH receives the child benefit money each month and gets a little from his freelance jobs and his parents give him a small amount each month (they want to avoid paying big inheritance tax so give it out to family in bits and pieces now). He buys a little food and things for himself from this income.

It seems to work for us. But I do want to get a joint account, just because I have some inheritance that I'd like us both to have access to.

Joint accounts for everything, we have since we got married. We always discuss big purchases but generally free to spend what we need

All salaries paid into joint account. That account finances pretty much everything. All bills food holidays savings etc. One joint credit card/ debit card for day to day purchases. £200 each paid out from joint account to personal accounts each month, for fripperies- make up, guitars, individual hobbies etc.

We don''t have a joint account, but when I'm not earning (I'm self employed so this last year has been a struggle) DP gives me his bank card so I can just use it whenever I want. He'd never question anything I bought.

Actually I keep his card even when I am earning, as he says he'd rather I kept my money and treated myself or saved it, so to do all the shopping etc with his card.

All money is pooled into joint accounts apart from an equal amount which goes into our individual accounts to spend as we wish.

Joint account for bills, my own account for child benefit which I use for cash for things like the mobile hairdresser I had before covid. Everything else I pay for using a rewards credit card. Dh is the main card holder and I am the additional card holder. It is paid in full automatically every month. It earns us points which we spend together.

We have been married over 20 years and agree about money and spending, so he understands school shoes for a secondary school child cost £60 and doesn't question it.

Every year (but it was every month right at the beginning of our relationship) we would look at what we spent and where, assess what was important to us etc. No accusations just looked at what went where.

I don't have to ask for things I want because I just buy it but Dh never makes me answer for what I have spent. We were living together, then married and I was working full time before I became a SAHM after 7 years so he knew my spending habits before he became the sole earner. I have been a SAHM for 16 years now.

I think the main thing is him having an understanding of what children cost, what you spend on you too, food, etc. So look over what you have spent previously every month.

We have the same set up as when I was working.

We have a joint account that everything is paid into, and all bills come out of. From that, we each put a specific amount into our personal accounts that are for us to spend however we want on frivolous things/whatever we want. We also put aside money into a separate account to spend on things for DS like toys, clothes, car seat, playgroups, etc. Money from the "DS" money can be spent on me doing things with DS to fill the days, but due to lockdown I haven't.

We've just always felt that this was the most fair way to do things; we both contribute equally to our family - mine just isn't financial.

As above really. Joint account for all bills, equal money transferred for personal things, I transfer food money into his account and petrol money into mine (he’s the SAHP). All kids expenses come out of the joint.

We only got separate accounts because I started getting on top of the finances and felt harsh being able to see where DH was spending every pennny

@Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear

All money is pooled into joint accounts apart from an equal amount which goes into our individual accounts to spend as we wish.

We have the same.

Joint account for bills, food shopping, prescriptions, anything to do with the kids including coffee at soft play and family or back when we had childcare date nights.

Our individual ‘pocket money’ account covers hair cuts, clothes, coffee when out by ourselves or when out with friends.

Equal access to a shared bank account here.

Kinda the second, though it's not whatever we want. All of our money other than child benefit goes into one account, whoever earns it. I do a weekly check to make sure debits are going out as they should and everything is account for and then we budget together. We've an agreed amount of 'fluff money' we keep track of using a budgeting app though it's mostly on hold right now while we move (though our grocery budget has risen slightly with additional stress eating purchases).

We also each have an account, mine originally set up back in the mists of time when most bank cards were Maestro and I needed a Visa one to do certain US things. It's now where the child benefit goes plus a weekly standing order from the main account which I use for irregular expenses, mainly involving the children. He got one a while back that had a half-decent interest rate to put our deposit into once we were serious about buying, and now it's becoming our irregular larger home expenses account.

My spouse and I have both had times of being the SAHP and being the one at home with unstable self-employment with the other bringing in most or all of the income and have had this set up most of the time. We did have a time when only I had accounts (he had one closed in Uni and feared opening a new one for ages), but like a pp, he just used mine for a while. We eventually made that one joint and got him his own, but we've never had a time when either of us felt or were giving the other money. It's been pooled together since a few months after we were living together.

We have a shared bank account, all finances are entirely merged and there’s no sense that it’s “his” money or I’m any less deserving of spending on myself because he’s in paid work. Neither of us would make a large purchase without telling the other one, but at the same time I can basically buy what I want within reasonable limits - based on our actual circumstances. I recently needed some new maternity clothes for example, so I just told him I was going to order some.

Each to their own, but I can’t really imagine it being any different.

DH puts money into my own account, some into his account, and the rest goes into joint savings.

Both have accounts but all bills go out of joint account. No real reason for individual accounts still tbh we kept them from when we were broke and used the overdrafts….reminder for a banking mot