Hi. I'm a full time sahm. My husband is an agricultural engineer so works on average from 7 am until between 7 and 8pm, sometimes he gets called out too at weekends. My dd is 2. Lockdown has made me feel so lost. I've lost motivation to go out for a walk that much anymore and I feel I'm letting my daughter down. We live 45 mins away from family. I feel isolated from them and lonely all day. We moved here a few months before anything about covid 19 cropped up, life was normal. I'm a very anxious person but Ive always made the effort in the past to go to mother and baby groups, swimming, softplay, outings to the playground, walking the dog with daughter in a carrier etc. Considering my anxiety I was very proactive before the first lockdown, then once it started things just started going downhill for my mental health. I hardly got the chance to make proper friends in our new area, so I feel isolated without a friend in the world. If I could look into the future back then, I wouldn't have let us move house. Honestly, I'm a bit unhappy here now. Sure I speak to neighbors, but it's not the same as where we used to live. There have been no groups to go to, my local playgrounds are shut, softplay is shut, swimming pools are shut. The only things I have now to give my daughter socialisation is preschool part time and that we have a big garden with a trampoline, sandpit, swing and climbing frame, but it would just be nice to have other parents over with their kids but not allowed to. I was so chuffed with all the group's up here, there were double the amount than where we used to live and it was brilliant, I had a great routine sorted that I stuck to. But now it's all gone to pot and I feel lonely, isolated and like a bad mum now 
it's all making my anxiety issues go back to square one. When I had my daughter I said I'm going to get out there and tackle my anxiety and I did so well for a couple of years. Also dealing with average behavioural issues for a 2 yo everyday are taking it out of me and I feel I have no escape. As well as dealing with her behaviour throughout the day I'm not ever getting a break from putting her to bed. She tends to think bedtime is playtime despite having dinner, bedtime stories, bedtime bath, teeth brushing, bedtime milk etc. It's pretty tough going getting her to sleep but she just won't sleep for my husband and I always have to take over from him. Maybe he's too soft or puts up with too much from her? I don't know. The other night he was talking to her while she was messing about at bedtime and I said don't talk to her! Your dragging it out. Then i had to take over. He says he always does the same things as me but they never work for him. Then when Im also getting up 6 nights a week because he works I feel I can't get away from my daughter somrtimes as bad as that sounds. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mum and I'm so grateful I get to stay at home and raise her, but things haven't been the same since covid 19. The only positive of lockdown is she's really coming on with potty training now. I feel I'm on coutdown all week until my husband is at home at the weekend, then we say well what should we do today, hmmmm, go for another walk? 
walking is just not exciting now, especially when I'm trying to teach my daughter she has to hold my hand next to the road then she has a paddy in front of everyone. The most exciting thing to do now is drive to collect our food shopping. Who would of thought I'd ever say that. I used to use the car near enough everyday to go out to different groups or even just walk round the city but now the car sits in limbo. My daughter has nearly every toy under the sun and lots of activities to do but I'm getting bored of playing Choo Choo trains, Lego, drawing, painting and endless reading.