SAHP and money

[ginonymous]

am a SAHM with a 15 month old. I am wondering how other SAHMs are able to spend money on themselves. I don't spend any money on makeup or clothes for myself and rarely go for haircuts or lunches etc. I go once every 5/6 weeks for a wax and once every 6 weeks for a chiropractor appointment as I have a bad back since pregnancy. My husband is making me feel guilty about spending money on these two things. He makes comments like "how much did I spend on your wax this time?". A while ago I walked into town with a friend and she suggested we go for coffee while there. When he saw I had spent money on a drink he suggested that next time I take a bottle of water so that I don't have to spend money on drinks. Am I being selfish to feel like this is unfair? I am not doing nothing everyday, I look after our child, cook, clean and do most things around the house but feel like I can't spend any money on myself at all. Is this right? Part of me is considering going back to work even though I won't end up with much money after childcare, just so that I can spend a little on myself but the other part of me thinks it isn't worth losing this precious time with my child just so that I can have the occasional treat. How are other SAHMs coping with this kind of situation?
My husband has also just booked a long weekend away with the boys and when I asked him if I could do the same he said no as the weekend between the two of us would then be too expensive. I know this is just a nice-to-have but feel that by being a SAHM I can't do anything. Am I being unreasonable by wanting to be able to do things that cost some money?

Totally agree with Bishalisha work out how much local childcare is (nursery quotes on another thread were £42- £55 per day as an average, London was £95 PER DAY.

Present that to him along with what you would be earning if you returned to work. Both full time and part time hours.

Tell him he would have to change his hours to accommodate half the drop offs and pick ups, you being a team and all that.

Also tell him that housework would return back to 50/50 if you returned full time. Let's see if he is as keen to dictate what you spend then like he's your father or something.

I have been a SAHM for over a decade with two children now in secondary school. I have a credit card in DH's name that earns us points. I never have to justify anything I spend, never have. If I want a coffee I get one, just like he would do exactly the same. I bet your Dh spends money on stuff that you just don't know about.

At one time or another I have floated the idea of working but I really don't want to and Dh worships the ground I walk on because in truth, no-one wants to come home from working to do laundry, cook a meal, shop for food. I do all that.

Dh totally gets it. His own Mum was a SAHM and he really appreciated her. He loves coming home and spending time with the children because he doesn't have to do housework. Dinner is made, often with the DCs contributing to the cooking.

As the boys are older, we often go out for a late evening coffee, just the two of us.

Your OH is a dick, water? Fucking water? Sweet Jesus.