Will you go back to work, and when?

[fiveacres]

For me it will possibly be in 2020

I've no idea what I'll do though

To be honest, it isn't really! But I was so blessed with the most laid back, chilled out, happy children in the world! I love being a parent which is strange as I didn't want any children and I hate being pregnant but once they come out of me I love them!

No, I really empathised with your posts about your parents. Losing them young is hideous. I don't think I know anyone else my age without parents - well, apart from XDH. Some people my age have grandparents still alive!

I'm in 2 minds. I also teach and have no interest in being party of that system. It makes me sick to think about it. But my oh would like me to earn some money. He says he feels very pressured being the only earner. I can see his point and it would give us breathing space financial if I did earn but I think he's forgotten the ridiculous hours that I used to do and underestimates how much I do now.
I would however like to do something for me. Just not teaching.

Twart That's not the half of it, DC2 has just been diagnosed with epilepsy

I love the actual job but my employer delights in giving me shifts which mean I don't see much of my kids.

Midwifery is 3 years, I had to do an access course which was 2 years and the year before I became a doula and breastfeeding peer supporter so I have already invested a lot into midwifery. The sway towards teaching is because I originally wanted to teach when I left school and to be honest the holidays would help with DS

Ds3 will need to be on full school days (not in UK) so that is when he is 6.5. He is 1 now, so that's 2020 for me too. Gulp. Might try do something more in 2018 though. Three and a half years away feels less daunting.

I will go back to work when youngest starts school in 2.5 years, will work for myself , planning on starting a small business along with visual merchandising

Not for years yet. ds is 18 months and I'm 35 weeks with dd. Number three is not off the table...yet. I had my own small craft business before having ds and I'll go back to that when they're all in school as long as I can still do the school runs and holidays. I make jokes (?) with dp that I'm going to have a year of doing nothing when they first go to school.

Itsnot. I think parents who have family nearby really have no idea how hard it is to have noone. I have a sister who'll watch ds if we want to go out for the occasional evening (for which we are eternally grateful)but there's no one during the day. Friends often say "God I just needed a couple of hours so took dc to my mums" and I'm .
I'm also getting a lot of friends with two talking of how nuts they would have gone had they not kept their first in nursery whilst they had their second to give them a break.

Oh I'm just having this discussion with myself at the moment. I have 3 kids, aged 4, almost 2 & now 8 months. I'm taking VR in October but slightly worrying about he we'll manage dropping to one salary.,thought I'd take 2 yrs off originally but now thinking 1, once the early years/15 hrs kicks in for DD (middle child). Think I'd like to do 2 days/Wk consulting or something but I imagine jobs like that are like gold dust, esp if they pay well enough to leave some money over from childcare.

i empathise with those feeling lonely & no help nearby. My parents died when I was 18 & 19 & we now live 500 miles from family & friends. Is full on & no real respite (friends ocassionally baby sit for an evening out for us but it's only every few months) & we're now watching the pennies as we'll be dropping to 1 income so those nights out will be less too. But although having 3 was not in the lifeplan, our family is complete now.

I've been "out of work" since my second maternity leave finished nearly 2 years ago. Mostly because just before DC2 was born DH was offered an amazing position if the USA for a few years, and the cheaper cost of living over here and the ages of the children made it a good time for me to have a career break.

We'll be moving back to London next year, so I need to start thinking about what I want to do. My previous job was one of those arty ones where everyone says "oh how interesting!" when you tell them what you do, but is actually horrendously paid and slowly being taken over by posh interns with rich parents, so although I might be able to wangle my way back in I'm not sure I'd want. DC1 will be in school full time and DC2 will be 3 so eligible for 15 hours, which at least makes it financially viable (no family help available).

I'm not really sure what DH thinks. He's supportive when I talk about working outside the home again, but I think he's really benefitted from having me at home. I definitely found myself nodding at the "who doesn't want a free PA?" comment up thread! It's often implied on WOHP / SAHP threads that the being the sole financial provider puts so much stress on the working parent and pushes them to work longer hours, but DH worked all hours even when I worked full time and before we had children. He's just very driven and passionate about what he does and works in an industry with a culture of crazy hours, so me taking full responsibility for home and children just enables him rather than forces his hand.

Oh goodness, I haven't worked for 19 years now and my sons are 18 and 15 - the eldest being away at university.

Thankfully we can manage on DH's wage although it'd be lovely to have a bit more money to play with and I feel incredibly lazy still being at home, especially when my lovely DH works so hard, but I get really panicky and stressy about the thought of going back into the workplace after so long out of it and I don't have much self confidence. I was a retail manager when I worked and things have changed so much in the last 19 years, and people/customers have too, and I'm not sure it's what I'd want to go back to but it's all I know. Another thing that concerns me is that, because the 24/7 nature of retail now, would it stop me taking my younger son to the football every few weeks as games are mostly on weekends? I treasure that time with him, especially now he's at an age when kids don't especially want to spend time going out with a parent.
It does rather benefit us as a family to have me home too. DH works long hours under stressful conditions and it means that he doesn't have to think about anything 'housey' as I take full responsibility for everything in the home.

I have found my people!

I've been at home now for 16 years. I am desperate to look towards some sort of work again, but am coming to realise that the number of compromises I have made, and will need to continue to make due to the DC and their various needs, and DH rarely being around mean I'm never going to be able to earn the sort of salary I'd like.

I love the volunteering I do. I study part time (almost finished an OU degree) but the reality of the lack of support DH is able to give due to his job, is going to make it difficult to do much more. I'm struggling not to loose the will to be constructive, and desperately don't want to just keep on keeping on.