Divorcing with 3 kids in London - wanting to move to the countryside

[mamatothreebunnies]

Living in London with 3 kids and my soon to be ex-h, and I’ve always dreamt of living in the country, perhaps on a farm. My eldest also had the same dream (I’ve never told her mine so she just naturally is drawn to that life) - and I think the divorce is an opportunity for me to restart my life. I couldn’t afford to live in London and maintain the same lifestyle we currently have on his salary and I earn very minimal. With the house sale and other assets I could live somewhere rural but need help with location ideas.

need somewhere within 2 hours of London
Green and rural
close to a city or town with nice shops and restaurant
ideally good schools etc

please can anyone help? I’m not great with England geography.

Also OP many tight-knit places with a 'lovely community' aren't welcoming to outsiders. You'll have far more success in a bigger place with different groups, enabling you to find 'your' tribe.

I live in a small town in Greater Manchester. 20 min train to the city centre. 20 min drive to the Peak District. Farms etc behind my house a 15 min walk to the town centre with restaurants, shops, etc.

No cinema but that's not a necessity! Not sure if you realise but these days many are closing down anyway.

I guess the London equivalent is a 1.5 hour train in, but I have friends who live in Sussex and Essex with this lifestyle too.

I am sorry you getting a bit of stick during this difficult times. I think it is a lovely plan for your family.

Think about where in London are you because two hours away can be very different if part of that means you have to travel all the way round the M25 or back through London to drop the kids off?

Look at a Map and follow the motorways out of town.

The M3 will take you past Baskingstoke, which a big town and surround by gorgeous villages down to Winchester there are lots of lovely villages around there.

The M4 will take you past Reading which a huge town but surrounded by some lovely villages and the it continues along to Swindon and the bottom end of the Cotswolds

Where as the M20 will take you out towards Kent again some big towns but surrounded by beautiful villages.

Do some research, whilst you don't know England very well, you can sit with the map and Rightmove and see what you can get for 500k and if you find some thing that suits then you can do some research about the town.

Then you can dig deeper and see if something ignites a spark and then you can start to read up on the town or village and pay it a visit.

Good luck, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Yes. I live in a small, pretty village and this is the reality. There is a cinema in the nearest town, 20 minutes away. The nearest village shop is a 10 minute drive (many villages now don't have any amenities). And in the nearest market towns, the shops are rubbish - there has been a huge decline in shopping facilities outside the major cities in the last few years. I have to drive to the nearest town and then get a train to a city (30 mins to a city with OK shopping, an hour to a major city). In reality I don't bother and buy everything online. I also have to be mega organised with food shopping and buy a full week's shop in one go, as popping out to top up isn't feasible.

The other thing to mention is that, however lovely the area, it's only pretty for a few months of the year. There are many months (the majority) where it's just a lot of mud.

I agree with the poster who suggested renting first to see how you get on. There have been many threads on here over the years from posters who couldn't cope with the reality of living in the countryside.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/147380987#/?channel=RES_BUY

Needs some redecoration but beautiful area.

What about somewhere like Newbury and the surrounding areas, it’s a nice market town with good transport links into London, and also Reading which would be more interesting for teenagers.

Op I think what you need is a market town. We live on the edge of a market town. The good thing is we are close to country side, yet it has all the amenities. Schools in walking distance and shops, cinema, restaurants, pubs ect kids can walk/cycle into town on their own go meet their friends. And you would at a pinch get a 4 bed here for £500k. We're in Suffolk.

I would avoid Kent due to the grammar schools. We have family there and they really don't like the school system.

Or, new eco home in Stroud itself

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/145668476#/?channel=RES_NEW

Very near Stroud but also near Rodborough Common which is great for dog walking, kite flying and amazing views over the Severn estuary

I honestly wouldn't do this. Your kids lives are being upended but the divorce. To further unsettle them by moving 2hrs away from their dad, friends, schools is way too much all at once. Put them first.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/150812537#/?channel=RES_BUY

We live in worthing
South downs on one side, beach on the other
half an hour to Brighton
500k would get you a very nice 3 bed probably detached or 4 bed semi
1.5 hours from london on the train and there is a direct train

OP, I did exactly this. Sold the London house as part of the divorce and I bought a lovely, obviously much smaller, home, just outside Tunbridge Wells for my now teenage son and I. We couldn’t be happier. For us, it’s the perfect blend of some of the most beautiful countryside and quaint villages in the country, the coast not so far away, lovely towns of Tunbridge Wells within a short walk and Sevenoaks is 15 minutes in the car. Great schools and either 30 minutes into London from Sevenoaks or 50 minutes from Tunbridge Wells.

wherever you choose, good luck and any questions, just PM me ☺️

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/130247711#/media?activePlan=1&id=media8&channel=RES_BUY

If you don't mind a project! (And likely the sound of jets taking off from Mildenhall and Lakenheath!)

As PP have said, finding a truly rural property is going to be difficult and you certainly won't get a farm for £500k.

I agree with PP about renting in an area for a while first to see whether country life is all its cracked up to be.

As a middle ground, you'll probably be able to find something in, or on the outskirts of, a village, that has a decent garden and easy access to the countryside for walks, etc.

We I've sei rurally

View from the window is hills and fields but we are part of a village/morphed into edge of a medium town.

Malvern.

Lovely community. Cinema, theatre, independent shops. Ten mins on train to Worcester with direct trains to Paddington,

Highly recommended.

Otherwise maybe Stroud area would work.

Or in Kent:

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/141266405#/?channel=RES_BUY

I realise this is a tangent but I find this really surprising

I have a lot of friends and family who live in London and even those who love their cars still use public transport for some things. Like going to the west end or the science museum or what not

I think the best thing you can do for your kids is boost your earning power - earning "very minimal" isn't going to give them a great life post divorce - and that might mean choosing where you live based on where you are best off for work.

If you don't know England very well, then why not spend a few weekends staying in different AirBNBs around the country so you get an idea of what different areas are actually like?

Norfolk is fantastic
but think school first
your work etc
teens need to access stuff , think forward.
500k
isnt a lot tbh
but living rurally I wish I had thought about public transport and shops doctors etc
being a single parent is really tough , and what’s around you and your children will be the most important thing long term
kids grow fast then leave home eventually
your new work and tribe will be the most impactful thing

Look at Wisborough Green in West Sussex. Beautiful village with pubs, cricket club, village shop. In the middle of beautiful countryside. Great village primary and a good secondary school in nearby Billingshurst where there is also a train station.
A very friendly village with a great community. Trouble is your budget, you might struggle.

This is nice but over budget.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148906799

Staffordshire. 1h 20 into London cheap housing beautiful countryside, it's gem no one knows about

Look at a map and start day trips out to potential places.
Learn uk geography. Don't keep saying "I do not know" ! You can learn!! You need to learn!
Buy a physical paper map if easier and mark it
Amazon sells maps

My advise would be go for somewhere with a bit of land maybe but not a farm - the hard work is unrelenting. If you are in good distance of a large town or cit then the potential for jobs is much better and no doubt you will need to work unless you are completely home based. Norwich, KingsLynn, Peterborough area although not nec P itself. Midlands or down to Cotswolds or Gloucester way could be worth investigating but some of the areas are v pricey for what you get . Go for the country lifestyle but not necessarily all in farming - I don't think you would know what has hit you!!

Don’t be too disheartened by the responses OP you just might need to adapt your ideas a bit. We recently moved to Kent from London & we’re near Sevenoaks & Tunbridge Wells. The countryside is beautiful but you don’t have to go far to find a town with lots of amenities. It’s a nice balance. It is expensive but if you don’t mind being further from a station then you can find a better deal.

Op do you have any links to anywhere outside London and any friends/family? I think that’s really important when you are a single parent especially with three children. Who can you call on for support if you need it?

I think renting in an area first is a great idea and it is something I did BUT the rental market is different now and very competitive. Obviously you need a steady job with payslips etc. It's also difficult to rent with children. The other problem you have is schools. You won’t want to be moving your children around too much. Sorry to point out the negatives but all things to consider before you make a big move.