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Rural living

Looking to relocate to the countryside? Find advice in our Rural Living forum.

Original poster

To move up north? WWYD

53 replies

Shouldwestayshouldwego · 28/02/2022 20:32

Name change as I'm a regular poster on here. I'm currently unsure what to do regarding a big potential house move and thought the wise ladies (and men) of Mumsnet may have some advice.

I currently live down south. I moved here many years ago, before I met DH, to a town I really love. Some of DHs family live nearby and they are lovely. We really enjoy spending time with them, as do our DCs. PILs used to live here too but have since moved away so sadly we don't see them frequently anymore (they are both still working in quite demanding jobs.)

DH and I have two children and currently have no help with emergency childcare due to my family living far away and his parents also moving away/being busy. As a result I've recently had to leave my job and go freelance, as I was taking too many days off to look after the kids when they couldn't be in school because of Covid.

My parents and sibling live up north and they would really like us to move and join them. The area they live in is much cheaper than where we live now so we could afford a house that's big enough for us (current home isn't) and even pay off our mortgage before we reach 40, which we could never do here. My parents would also be able to help with childcare occasionally as they are retired.

DH's job is remote working, as is my freelance work so that isn't an issue. The thing holding me back is that I'm just completely in love with the town where we live now. It feels so perfect and walking through it makes me happy on a daily basis. I know this sounds really silly but I'm just worried that I could never love anywhere else as much and would regret moving away?

But then we'd have a bigger house, less financial strain and family help nearby, so would we be stupid not to?

WWYD?

OP posts:
alwayswrighty · 28/02/2022 20:36

Oh goodness. I'd be torn too.

I ended up living somewhere where I was financially slightly better off but because everything (shopping, cinema, etc) was at least 45 minutes drive I spent my time between work, shopping, here there and everywhere that I sold up and moved back down south. Much happier with everything on my doorstep.

Potcallingkettle · 28/02/2022 20:41

The north is a very big place. Try giving a general area and someone will be along to tell you if you can recreate that lifestyle there.

Ilikewinter · 28/02/2022 20:42

I guess it depends on where about up north you're thinking of moving to.

Original poster
Shouldwestayshouldwego · 28/02/2022 20:44

Thanks @alwayswrighty.

Both our current town and new town are walkable, so we could still get everywhere we'd need to on foot.

New town is smaller, but has better transport links if anything. It's thought of locally as a lovely place to live and current home is actually grim in some parts...but I just love it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shouldwestayshouldwego · 28/02/2022 20:49

Thanks everyone, it's a Yorkshire market town. We live in a slightly bigger market town down here.

OP posts:
Soulstirring · 28/02/2022 20:50

I’d move in a shot

Curlewcall · 28/02/2022 20:54

Can you tell us the name of the Yorkshire Market town?

It maybe that someone here can advise what it is really like to live there.

ThymePoultice · 28/02/2022 20:56

If you’ve NCed you’re probably safe to tell us the towns.

It’s tricky to comment on “south v north”. The actual locations matter more. Much cheaper housing and family help sound a tempting combination, though.

NiceTwin · 28/02/2022 20:59

There'd be no stopping me, I'd be blazing a trail up that motorway Grin

candycane222 · 28/02/2022 21:09

Hmm, if you love where you are, it might be hard to replace that love - or it may just be that you are an open-hearted kind of person who is quick to find joy Smile

I realise covid must have been really hard because all the other parents were in the same boat, but are we expecting much more of that? We never had family close enough for emergency childcare but lots of neighbours teenage children / parents of the kids' school friends have been close enough for babysitting and/or mutual support over the years, including for a spell when dh was seriously ill and I had to travel a way to the hospital every day. So in 'normal times' it needn't necessarily be a problem?

Original poster
Shouldwestayshouldwego · 28/02/2022 21:46

Yeah, @candycane222, I was wondering that. It feels like we don't get to spend enough time with my family but over the last couple of years Covid has mainly been responsible for that so it may change.
I'm also aware that sibling could be starting a family soon and I'd love to be around for that

The town is Malton.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shouldwestayshouldwego · 28/02/2022 21:47

Current town is Bury St Edmunds.

OP posts:
WineIsMyCarb · 28/02/2022 21:49

Do it. We located from cool southern city (not London) to affluent town in Yorkshire. We loved where we were until we... Didn't. Look back on 'old life' with such happiness and fondness for that chapter of our lives. Couldn't be happier now we are here, never regretted it for a second. And Malton is lovely. You could return to a salaried job in time, too, based in York maybe? It will open up so many opportunities that you aren't even aware of now.

Soontobe60 · 28/02/2022 22:01

To me it’s a no brainer! Move!!!

Original poster
Shouldwestayshouldwego · 28/02/2022 22:06

Thanks, I was expecting more people to warn against!

OP posts:
propertealady · 28/02/2022 22:10

I moved from South Cambridgeshire, not far from you to West Yorkshire. I absolutely love it here. Can't recommend enough, the worst thing for me is being 300 miles from family, so if I were you I'd go for it.

Stuckandinamess · 28/02/2022 22:15

Absolutely do it! More space, better of financially, support network around you, less crime, great outdoors on your doorstep.

Curlewcall · 28/02/2022 22:24

Malton is lovely.

Apart from a normal high street there is a really lovely town square with some gorgeous upmarket shops, Hare and Wilde for Homewares, Kemps for books, gifts etc, loads of gift shops, cafes, restaurants etc.

You will also find a smaller square with Florian Poirot for Macarons, Chocolates, Pattiserie, coffee etc, a lovely Bakery, Coffee Shop and a very popular Ice Cream parlour.

In other side streets there are quirky Furniture stores, Florists, Fishmongers, a family run Cinema etc. etc.

Once a year there is a massive Food Festival in the town square taking place over three days, with smaller Food events spaced out through the year.

The surrounding villages are delightful, particularly Slingsby, Terrington, Hovingham and Westow and the people in the area very friendly.

I know Bury St Edmunds well, having lived close by and made the move North 12 years ago. I have never regretted it for one second and suspect you wouldn’t either.

Just be slightly careful if buying in Malton as some areas of the town do flood. Speak to Willowgreen Estate Agents, they are really switched on and will be totally honest about the best areas to buy in.

NessieMcNessface · 01/03/2022 05:27

Depends on the impact the move would have on your mental health. Going against the grain, I would wait a little longer before making the decision to be sure it’s right for you. It seems like the town you live in provides you with great happiness, emotional security and a general sense of well being. So for you, leaving could be quite traumatic and could impact negatively on your mental health in spite of the obvious advantages that the move would bring. If it’s making you feel anxious and panicky at the thought of leaving, I wouid take more time to consider. Hope all goes well for you OP.

labyrinthlaziness · 01/03/2022 05:48

I would also wait. You absolutely love where you live, that is worth a lot.

It's thought of locally as a lovely place to live I would also be careful about this - thought of by whom? I would do a lot more research. Your family are not reliable witnesses here as they are biased and no doubt would love you to be nearer.

There is no rush to move, presumably?

euniceanddudley · 01/03/2022 06:08

Malton is lovely. I’ve lived near both too and I would choose Malton even without the family connection.

CrabbyCat · 01/03/2022 06:15

How old are your DC, how important would the childcare help be? If you had more childcare support locally, what difference would it make to you personally? Would there be hobbies you'd be able to go back to?

Thissucksmonkeynuts · 01/03/2022 06:19

Oh gosh, Malton, you will be fine, that's not rural or remote and definitely not the Grim North.

GodspeedJune · 01/03/2022 06:24

I don’t know the northern town but know Bury St Edmunds very well and can see why you’d be reluctant to leave. The way you described feeling happy living there is lovely.

tothemoonandbackbuses · 01/03/2022 06:33

I would think carefully not because it isn’t a nice area but because houses are moving so fast. Everything goes to best and final and then the chain collapses because people can’t find onward purchases once they’ve sold theirs. Very little rental available due to holiday cottages. People are advertising on Facebook and notice boards and leafleting for houses to buy. People are literally grabbing any house that vaguely fits the bill
If you want a new build you’ll be fine as there are plenty
I’d avoid willow green as they are the worse for beating the price up.

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