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Rural living

Looking to relocate to the countryside? Find advice in our Rural Living forum.

Original poster

To move up north? WWYD

53 replies

Shouldwestayshouldwego · 28/02/2022 20:32

Name change as I'm a regular poster on here. I'm currently unsure what to do regarding a big potential house move and thought the wise ladies (and men) of Mumsnet may have some advice.

I currently live down south. I moved here many years ago, before I met DH, to a town I really love. Some of DHs family live nearby and they are lovely. We really enjoy spending time with them, as do our DCs. PILs used to live here too but have since moved away so sadly we don't see them frequently anymore (they are both still working in quite demanding jobs.)

DH and I have two children and currently have no help with emergency childcare due to my family living far away and his parents also moving away/being busy. As a result I've recently had to leave my job and go freelance, as I was taking too many days off to look after the kids when they couldn't be in school because of Covid.

My parents and sibling live up north and they would really like us to move and join them. The area they live in is much cheaper than where we live now so we could afford a house that's big enough for us (current home isn't) and even pay off our mortgage before we reach 40, which we could never do here. My parents would also be able to help with childcare occasionally as they are retired.

DH's job is remote working, as is my freelance work so that isn't an issue. The thing holding me back is that I'm just completely in love with the town where we live now. It feels so perfect and walking through it makes me happy on a daily basis. I know this sounds really silly but I'm just worried that I could never love anywhere else as much and would regret moving away?

But then we'd have a bigger house, less financial strain and family help nearby, so would we be stupid not to?

WWYD?

OP posts:
JodyAteApples · 01/03/2022 06:38

I think freeing up money by moving would enable you to afford to pay for any babysitting too which would mean more freedom for you and your Dh. Plus having your parents be able to provide some childcare even if only occasionally is a massive bonus.

I have been looking at Malton as my FIL wants to move from where he has lived for 35 years! So I am pleased to read positive reviews of it.

I am a trailing spouse so move wherever Dh's jobs take us. A relocation move to a cheaper area saw me able to give up work and become a sahm. I left behind a job I loved and a best friend I had made but I knew that this was a good move choice for us as a family. Plus instead of being almost 4 hours away from family we are now 1 hour which meant we saw them much more often.

I think in your circumstances a cheaper but much bigger house, ability to pay off the mortgage early, more monthly disposable income and closer to family would trump the place you live in now. I do also think it is about mindset, reminding yourself why you did it etc.

Polyanthus2 · 01/03/2022 06:39

It's going to be colder.
And as BsE is near Cambridge there will be a large number of high skill professionals ( I would guess) - this could affect local school grade achievements.
I doubt yorkshire has the tech/scientific employment that Cambridge has.
I think Yorkshire is a nice place but I live in a rural area and the schools aren't great, nor is the hospital come to that - can't attract the
best staff. But we have lots of retirees.

Polyanthus2 · 01/03/2022 06:39

I live in Scotland not Yorkshire in case that wasn't clear.

yorkshireteaspoonie · 01/03/2022 06:57

Maltons lovely, we go about once a month for the food markets. It's approx half a hour from York by car. Trains to central London take 2 hours from York, trains to Leeds take approx 25

You're would be right on the edge of the North York Moors and Driving wise it takes approx 1 hour from malton to get to Leeds and harrogate and 40 mins to Scarborough for seaside trips.

ResearchQueen · 01/03/2022 08:32

@Polyanthus2

It's going to be colder. And as BsE is near Cambridge there will be a large number of high skill professionals ( I would guess) - this could affect local school grade achievements. I doubt yorkshire has the tech/scientific employment that Cambridge has. I think Yorkshire is a nice place but I live in a rural area and the schools aren't great, nor is the hospital come to that - can't attract the best staff. But we have lots of retirees.
BSE is an hour from Cambridge 😐. Proximity to Cambridge doesn’t affect school grades/ambition to that degree.

I’ve lived in Cambridge too!

Most people I know commuted into London from Cambridge and/or Suffolk.

Did OP say they were scientists? I missed that bit.

labyrinthlaziness · 01/03/2022 08:34

@Thissucksmonkeynuts

Oh gosh, Malton, you will be fine, that's not rural or remote and definitely not the Grim North.
This type of comment about the north really pisses me off Angry
EwwSprouts · 01/03/2022 08:48

You're both WFH in a house that is too small. Why wouldn't you want to enjoy being mortgage free in your 40's? Think of the fun you could have with the children! Malton is a bustling market town with York on the doorstep. Absolute no brainer before you even get to being closer to family and support.

Hoppinggreen · 01/03/2022 08:52

@Polyanthus2

It's going to be colder. And as BsE is near Cambridge there will be a large number of high skill professionals ( I would guess) - this could affect local school grade achievements. I doubt yorkshire has the tech/scientific employment that Cambridge has. I think Yorkshire is a nice place but I live in a rural area and the schools aren't great, nor is the hospital come to that - can't attract the best staff. But we have lots of retirees.
Malton is near York which has a university and Science park so while I appreciate it’s not Cambridge there is a Scientific community. I can’t comment on schools but it’s a pretty affluent area so there should be some good ones
labyrinthlaziness · 01/03/2022 08:52

I don't think 'bustling market town' sounds very nice!

donquixotedelamancha · 01/03/2022 08:54

Having more childcare, more contact with family a bigger house and lower cost of living are some big benefits to the practicalities of daily life.

Your kids would grow up speaking properly and knowing the taste of decent fish and chips.

Why not take an extended holiday in Malton (not with family, do airBnB or similar) and see what it's like to live there?

dollymuchymuchness · 01/03/2022 08:57

I’d move. Yorkshire is a wonderful county, with the dales, moors and the coast all accessible. Those market towns are lovely as well. With your financial situation what’s not to like?

LoveLabradors · 01/03/2022 10:55

Knowing both, personally I think Malton is nicer than BSE. BSE although nice is changing rapidly and losing some of its charm. The countryside surrounding Malton is beautiful too and some other lovely places within easy reach. You’ve got Leeds, York and Hull for cities too. The only problem I would have with Malton is that I would be bankrupt eating macarons everyday from Florian Poirot!

Cheermonger · 01/03/2022 11:01

My family tease me that I should work for the Malton tourist board. It’s lovely. 23 mins on train to York and 22 other way to Scarborough. Such a nice town

LoveLabradors · 01/03/2022 11:05

Plus you have the beauty of the N York Moors in easy reach and the Yorkshire Coast - personally I think Runswick Bay outshines the Suffolk coast (although I love the unspoilt parts of that too). My only thought it I’m not sure house prices are dramatically cheaper than Suffolk but I’ve not looked that closely. I adore Suffolk but I’m shocked at just how much house building is going on there, an astonishing amount in a short period of time, especially mid Suffolk.

FrownedUpon · 01/03/2022 11:23

I wouldn’t move. There’s a high chance you won’t love the new town as much and will regret the move. Bury St Edmonds is a great place to live. Stay & enjoy it.

Oakdog · 01/03/2022 11:26

We live near Malton and my DH spends a lot of time in Bury St Edmunds for work. He'd go for Malton everytime. It has a lovely feel, and all the positives that PPs have mentioned. A lot of my friend's children go to the secondary and it's considered to be a very good school. (But I do love a holiday in Suffolk too!!)

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 01/03/2022 11:31

I moved from Surrey to Yorkshire (near Malton) 20 years ago and haven't regretted it for a second. I was worried because I was very happy where I was, but I love it here even more.

KnobJockey · 01/03/2022 11:32

Could you rent out your house for a year, and rent in Malton to give it a try?

SaffyWall · 01/03/2022 11:34

Malton is a great place to bring up a family. It's a really lovely area within reach of the coast, moors, York, Leeds, Hull and more.

But there is a real shortage of housing - almost nothing on the market at the moment and hardly anything available to rent. Prices have rocketed recently so it's not a given that you'd be able to get more space for your money.

saleorbouy · 01/03/2022 11:38

If you can easily reduce your cost of living, have support for your family life and have a house with the ability to be mortgage free then what have you to loose.
Go for it!

alwayswrighty · 02/03/2022 08:32

@shouldwestayshouldwego

Sorry, for some reason I didn't see the tag notification. BST to Malton, I'd go to Malton. My 'north' was a tiny town in Lincolnshire with no transport links to one in Hampshire with everything on your doorstep, so different.

Original poster
Shouldwestayshouldwego · 22/03/2022 11:17

Wow! I didn't realise how many responses this had got. Thank you everyone - it seems the general consensus is go for it. We are probably going to go up there for the Easter holidays and then try and make a decision.

OP posts:
NorthGirlie · 22/03/2022 14:02

I’d choose Malton over Bury St Edmonds any day! Know both well!

Chewchewaboogie · 04/04/2022 14:45

We moved from a city we absolutely loved to quite near malton as we wanted a change. We knew if it didnt work out, we could just move back.
We love the area. The quality of life is very good.
What is it about your current place that you love..? A feeling, a visual thing,familiarity?
I found i was able to give up something I loved because i also love what we get here..if that makes sense?

Original poster
Shouldwestayshouldwego · 05/04/2022 06:24

Yes, I think it's partly a visual thing - it's just so pretty here in Suffolk! I still enjoy the novelty of the flat landscape and love the old flint and colourful timber framed buildings, and local villages and towns like Hartest, Clare and Lavenham. It's also always sunny (not literally, but having grown up in the north I certainly notice the difference!).

Bury does have its downsides though...it is very expensive and to remain within walking distance of the schools in a house with enough bedrooms we'd realistically need another 100k. It's also not really full of young professionals like someone suggested, I would say towards the centre it's mainly wealthy retirees.

I know Malton has some pretty villages nearby too. It just seems a bit more ... industrial? And a bit run down in places but maybe that's because it's still a working town and less touristy.

OP posts: