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Rural living

Looking to relocate to the countryside? Find advice in our Rural Living forum.

Original poster

People keep reporting us - a WWYD?!

137 replies

HorseWhisper · 27/05/2020 15:41

have name changed for this. I have lived in London in a v small house for 17 years and know everyone on the street where I live and they all know my dcs. Everyone looks out for each other - there are a few nightmares, but nothing unusual. It's basically been a fantastic, peaceful existence.

I met dp 4 years ago and he has young dcs who live in a village in a rural area (around 2 hours away from here). It happens to have fast connections into London and I wanted to buy a house and we could get a lot for our money in this location. So we bought it, with the idea that we would move here around Easter and rent London out.

It is v rural but the previous owners went on about what a friendly small village it is. I was nervous moving here because I'm a city person at heart and was worried about 'village life'.

Obviously Covid got in the way of things and we've only just managed to move.

it is a beautiful house with a large plot (an acre of garden) and one side of the garden backs on to the gardens of a street (so say about 10 houses gardens back onto that side) but we have been here a week and

  1. Had the police round within 2 days because someone reported us for breaking lockdown when we were moving in (this was after it was announced that we could move house)
  2. Had the council round twice because 'someone' has been reporting we are damaging trees (the guy just came round again now!)
  3. My children are in the garden today (they are 19/20) and I've just had the police drive past to ask if I am having a party in the garden because someone has reported us AGAIN.

What should we do? Should I just ignore this? Should we insist on finding out who is reporting us? I'm quite happy to speak to people directly, I just can't believe that people have so much time on their hands that they are doing this. I told the police I felt this was harassment. I have to say they did seem a bit fed up of the whole thing themselves but they couldn't tell us who reported us. I have given them my phone number now so they can call us if it happens again.

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 27/05/2020 15:46

So your partner already lived in this village? Do you now live together? Does he know of a certain busy body who makes it their business to keep the village 'in line'?
I think you may have to go on a charm offensive when the village opens up its pub etc. Kill them with kindness.

Original poster
HorseWhisper · 27/05/2020 15:48

his kids live in a neighbouring village to this one but close by rural terms (about 20 mins away) so he hasn't lived specifically here before

yes, we've been living together for a few years now (he moved in to the London place with me)

OP posts:
Original poster
HorseWhisper · 27/05/2020 15:49

is there likely to be a village busy body?

OP posts:
Splinkyplonk · 27/05/2020 15:49

Have you introduced yourself to your new neighbours yet? It will be next door or someone who overlooks you. You can write a card and bake some goodies for them, but charm offensive is the best way to get them out of their bored strop and get used to an occupied house. Tell them a bit about your story in the card so they are assured you are legit and aren't annoying second home people... They will hopefully twig that they need to start being nice or they will have made enemies of permanent residents!

Original poster
HorseWhisper · 27/05/2020 15:52

thanks splinky

we did put a note through all the neighbour's doors but this was before lockdown. It was one of the kids birthdays in one of the months in lockdown after we would have moved in plus mine plus dp's so we were going to have a garden party and we invited all the neighbours to pop in and say hello. Obviously we had to cancel all of that when lockdown started and we couldn't move.

We actually got some lovely cards back welcoming us to the area. I probably should have marked who didn't reply!

OP posts:
CazM2012 · 27/05/2020 15:52

Do you have Facebook? Check if there is a village group and “introduce yourself” on there?
Being reported 3 times in a week for moving in is too far!

Apolloanddaphne · 27/05/2020 15:54

There is deffo a busy body, curtain twitcher in the village!

CodenameVillanelle · 27/05/2020 15:54

Get on the local village Facebook page and introduce yourselves

mrsmummy111 · 27/05/2020 15:57

What are your direct neighbours like? Anyone around that you think you could get pally with? I'd try to befriend someone who you genuinely think you'd get on with and mention to them what's been happening

mrsmummy111 · 27/05/2020 15:58

If your neighbours have lived there a while they may know if there's someone who has form for this sort of thing. Bloody curtain twitchers, id find that incredibly stressful

Bargebill19 · 27/05/2020 15:58

Villages always have a busy body or three.
Either be super nice to everyone and kill them with kindness, or ignore them are the universally accepted routes. They will move on to the next person/gossip worthy news and leave you alone in due course.
There is a third way....... in one particular village we lived as a family (my parents and I was a schoolchild) my mother got so fed up with them she ‘leaked’ snippets of our family ‘life’. It was soon spread that dad was a spy etc etc. ... he was a boring civil servant and mum was primary school supply teacher. the old busy body was seen for what she was - a lonely, bored old lady who was looked after but her ‘gossip’ was universally ignored and life settled. She and my mother became good friends for the rest of her life.
Personally I go for the ignore them until they get bored route.

WhenItIsOver · 27/05/2020 15:59

Someone who wanted to buy the house?

2468whodoyouappreciate · 27/05/2020 16:00

Why don't you print a leaflet ecplaining the police 3 times and ask if anyone has a problem to call or knock or your door for a socially distanced chat so you can discuss instead of calling the police every 5 minutes.
This way everyone can see you're offering an olive branch and willing to discuss concerns. No doubt the busy body won't be brave enough to come and knock but may stop slagging you off and gossiping to all that will listen.

WanderingMilly · 27/05/2020 16:02

I think it will sort itself out when you settle into the village more.
You have to realise that newcomers stand out in a village in a way no-one does in a town. Villagers are usually welcoming (in my past experience up and down the country) but we are not living in normal times. Currently, villagers are wary of anyone new, thinking they might be second home owners or someone using a house for a lockdown escape. If they don't know you as a family they may assume that extra people in your garden are visitors not your own family group. If you put cards round previously, there may be some confusion about whether you are still going to have a party and someone may have jumped to conclusions.
It will be fine when you get to know everyone....

strugglingwithdeciding · 27/05/2020 16:04

Your not breaking rules so I would ignore ask the police to report back
Although me being me off there was a village Facebook I would post on that that I have moved in and broke no rules so whoever it is who keeps wasting police time please can they mind their own business .

AIMD · 27/05/2020 16:05

I agree with the kill them with kindness. Maybe just send round a card introducing yourself and kids. Let them know about any planned work on the house or garden if it will impact on them.

I agree with the jointing then local Facebook group suggestion to. Even if you don’t want to introduce yourself you might find out about any issues that might be happening in the village.

HappyHammy · 27/05/2020 16:06

The police will know if its the same person so they can speak to them if these complaints are false and vindictive. Living rurally isnt perfect. Many nosey bored twitchers who think they own the place.

Original poster
HorseWhisper · 27/05/2020 16:10

thanks all

yes that might be a good idea with an explanatory note! argh!

we don't have facebook

OP posts:
Original poster
HorseWhisper · 27/05/2020 16:12

I mean we don't have facebook accounts. The kids do though so maybe I could get them to join - there is a village facebook account, I just looked it up though I can't see anything on it as I'm not a member

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 27/05/2020 16:14

Have a look at local village Facebook.

I'd also find out who is running your local village Covid relief project and give them a ring - not because you have symptoms or need anything obvs but because the person running it will be the person who runs everything in the village. They will know exactly what is going on and who is who.

Other options in our village are parish councillor and vicar. I had no idea who these people were when I lived in a city, but they are important here Grin

diddl · 27/05/2020 16:15

If you weren't breaking lockdown rules by moving in, I wonder why the police came round-& why it took them 2 days?

What's with the council though-have you done anything at all to any trees??!!

Amazing how much time there seems to be to look into these things so quickly!

Thelnebriati · 27/05/2020 16:22

The police and council knows who keeps reporting you; so ask them both how many times the same person is going to be allowed to make groundless reports, because its starting to feel like harassment.

Destroyedpeople · 27/05/2020 16:24

Welcome to the cuntryside

stayathomer · 27/05/2020 16:26

*Someone who wanted to buy the house?
I second this. We got out house very cheap because the owners gave the keys back to the bank and while everyone has been lovely, we've had a number of people say what a pity it was the house was taken away from the owners (it wasnt) or say they wished they'd known it was on sale and how come it all happened so quicklyConfused

SuckingDieselFella · 27/05/2020 16:27

Get a facebook account and get into the local group. Even if you don't use your account for any other purpose you need to know the lie of the land. Normally when you move to a small place there will be people to welcome you in person and point out the folk to avoid. You'll have to find a way of meeting people virtually so that they tell you who the busybody is.