People keep reporting us - a WWYD?!

[HorseWhisper]

have name changed for this. I have lived in London in a v small house for 17 years and know everyone on the street where I live and they all know my dcs. Everyone looks out for each other - there are a few nightmares, but nothing unusual. It's basically been a fantastic, peaceful existence.

I met dp 4 years ago and he has young dcs who live in a village in a rural area (around 2 hours away from here). It happens to have fast connections into London and I wanted to buy a house and we could get a lot for our money in this location. So we bought it, with the idea that we would move here around Easter and rent London out.

It is v rural but the previous owners went on about what a friendly small village it is. I was nervous moving here because I'm a city person at heart and was worried about 'village life'.

Obviously Covid got in the way of things and we've only just managed to move.

it is a beautiful house with a large plot (an acre of garden) and one side of the garden backs on to the gardens of a street (so say about 10 houses gardens back onto that side) but we have been here a week and

1. Had the police round within 2 days because someone reported us for breaking lockdown when we were moving in (this was after it was announced that we could move house)
2. Had the council round twice because 'someone' has been reporting we are damaging trees (the guy just came round again now!)
3. My children are in the garden today (they are 19/20) and I've just had the police drive past to ask if I am having a party in the garden because someone has reported us AGAIN.

What should we do? Should I just ignore this? Should we insist on finding out who is reporting us? I'm quite happy to speak to people directly, I just can't believe that people have so much time on their hands that they are doing this. I told the police I felt this was harassment. I have to say they did seem a bit fed up of the whole thing themselves but they couldn't tell us who reported us. I have given them my phone number now so they can call us if it happens again.

Terrible advice about cakes btw. What if - shudders - the OP makes the wrong cake? You know the one only Murial is allowed to bake because she has been doing it since 1959?

PMSL this is village life all over

I'm I a different country but legally in England are seller not obliged to disclose any neighbour issues prior to sale. Is there anyway your doctor could check ( say witb the police) that the sellers have been honest. Speaking from painful experience the last thing you want is a nutter next door.

Gosh it sounds lovely. I never know what areas to look for when looking for countryside housing. What did u type into right move to find the countrywide just 2 hrs from london x

"If you brag about things in the village like you have here then you can't expect to be Ms. Popular."

Presumably the villagers already know what the house & garden are like?

just be relentlessly pleasant even though you might not be feeling it right now

Yep. It's just one person who's doing this, and you need everyone else on side. So being passive aggressive as a newcomer won't do you any favours at all.

Grit your teeth, be Mrs Loveliness who's SO happy to be part of the village (and if anyone's shielding and needing anything you're happy to help, etc) and smile through it all. The rest of the village probably know exactly who it is, and once you get to know people, I bet you'll get lots of sympathy.

I live in a village and have lived in many cities previously. So I know it's very different. Village life can be fantastic once you get into the swing of it. Most people are very welcoming of newbies and will try and include you in any events etc. I was fortunate having young children so got to know school mums to start with but few of them are long term friends now. I wouldn't do any passive aggressive things as suggested by some others. It won't help and won't make any friends of brownie points. Joining the Face book groups and finding what other groups there are that you might like is the best way to go about it. There may be a Covid 19 group who are getting very fatigued with all their volunteering so might appreciate some extra volunteers like yourselves and your two children. The virus has been a great way for so many new people in our village to get involved with the community. Good luck, I'm sure it will work out fine.

Won't it be DP's former partner's best friend - shit stirring because you are his new partner?

How dare you move so close to the ex?

It will probably be one or two people. Our next door neighbour used to complain about the Cockerell ffs. Officially. In about the most rural place in the UK. The council are obliged to write a letter just as the police are obliged to visit but they will know if people are just ridiculous troublemakers.

@AnnaMagnani - where did you manage to get your masks from? I can't find any to buy!

Our Boots had boxes of 50 paper masks on the counter today.

WHY it's nothing short of bulling so obviously you agree with bulling says a lot about you

I do agree with bulling.

Just ignore.
The police will get fed up sooner or later.

. My guess is that one vindictive person is behind all the complaints. The police might be able to answer that question even though they can't reveal the name.

Could it be someone with an old grudge against DP, perhaps his ex or her family?

I'd keep a diary with the date and content of each complaint and name of officers who contacted you. If the untrue allegations continue you should take it up with the local community council, worded as an enquiry " Do you know if anybody else in the village has been subjected to this malicious harassment."

I live in a village and know the sort. It probably feels like they are out to get you, but I would bet money on it only being one person, who is probably a notorious busybody.

Wandering Milly
I think it will sort itself out when you settle into the village more.
You have to realise that newcomers stand out in a village in a way no-one does in a town. Villagers are usually welcoming (in my past experience up and down the country) but we are not living in normal times. Currently, villagers are wary of anyone new, thinking they might be second home owners or someone using a house for a lockdown escape. If they don't know you as a family they may assume that extra people in your garden are visitors not your own family group. If you put cards round previously, there may be some confusion about whether you are still going to have a party and someone may have jumped to conclusions.
It will be fine when you get to know everyone....

Not from a village but WanderingMilly's post above seems like good advice.

Op does he have an ex nearby who has her nose out of joint? This sounds vindictive and targeted.

Currently, villagers are wary of anyone new

I don’t think that’s fair at all. This is likely one person.

So either it’s a neighbour who is going to be a problem, or as said, maybe it’s an ex or someone who knows them. Three times in a week is targeted.

Op if his young kids are local. Is the mother? How pleased is she you’ve moved to near her? You’ve only known your partner four years. How old are the kids? What’s her financial situation like? Is she also in a beautiful house with a large garden?

Yes I must say its extreme. Did you gazump a local?!

Sacrifice a goat on the rec

Works every time

Find out if there is a Parish Council - lots of small villages have one. Send them an email explaining the problem, they likely will know who is responsible and might be able to have a quiet word, or alternatively facilitate an email to the village mailing list introducing you. Is there a village magazine? You could also write a introductory note for that...

Sorry @FourDecades combination of buying on Amazon very early so we had our own family supply of Korean masks you can't get anymore and working in the community with a fantastic employer so my car always looks like a PPE stockpile.

It's mask and hand gel central at my place. Even got a visor on the backseat

ITONYAH
WHY it's nothing short of bulling so obviously you agree with bulling says a lot about you

I do agree with bulling.

sorry typing on my phone and autocorrect I think it was more than obvious I meant bullying

@HorseWhisper Sounds like someone in the friendly village has a grudge, against newcomers, against you in particular, against young people whatever. I think it would probably be worth your while talking to the local police - pointing out that they've been called out twice for no reason and reference the council visit. This certainly sounds like harassment and, at the least, they should be aware of it in case of future incidents.

I live in a village, and on the facebook community set up.I never post anything on there, Just read any important things that might be happening now and then.But for sure, there are a few moany complaining people on there,always the same group of people getting uptight about small and insignificant things..