moving to the country w teenagers?

[belhamwalk]

hi there, just wondering if anyone moved to the country from london or another big city when the kids were 12 or so..? bad/good/disastrous? any opinions welcome!

like with most things... how well off are you? are you going buy a massive pad with loads of land can do horses, guns, quads etc plus the taxis, social etc? or are you on your bones? one rural life is great, the other could get weary.

My dcs are 11, 15 and 18 and have very busy happy social lives, lots of hobbies, great schools. None on drugs as far as I am aware.

We live in a tiny rural village.

I really don't think its kittens who is being snippy DullAndOld

And what a sweeping generalisation "Sorry but the countryside is dire for teens". Its dire for some - but teenagers are not the identikit generation, some will thrive and some will hate it. Not everyone's experience mirrors yours.

Plus this statement "oh! I see you don't really live in 'the country' as you can get to London is less than an hour" is nonsense. At least half of these places are within an hour of London and they are most definitely rural

Back to the OP - I think it may well prove difficult to transition to living in the countryside if your teens are used to city living...but not necessarily so, it depends upon your child and what they like doing. Have you talked to them about it?

My two have always lived in the countryside. Only issue is poor broadband for ds who is a keen gamer. Otherwise they are content (its what they know)

And yes, I drive them around a fair bit - but then its what I am used to and what I know too, so it doesn't feel especially onerous

" Plus this statement "oh! I see you don't really live in 'the country' as you can get to London is less than an hour" is nonsense "

sorry but if you can get to London in under an hour , and you have 'four farm shops within a mile' and your kids take the bus to Brighton, you are NOT 'living in the country'. there might be trees and stuff.

Somewhere between Brighton and Lewes? Plumpton maybe?

For me, that is not 'living in the country' , more like a countryside theme park.

You can't make up definitions to suit yourself (well you can, but it makes your argument weak)

UK government definition of rural areas - no reference to proximity to London there or farm shops

not sure why this is annoying you so much.

for me, personally, rural Sussex is like a countryside theme park. Quite pretty and stuff, but house prices out of the reach of most people, an international airport on your doorstep, and a fast train to London from Lewes or Brighton.
Oh and lots and lots of farm shops......lots...lots....
Just my opinion, based on where I have been living for the past few years.

How central are you and how rural?

We made that move and one is happier and the other plans to go to university in a city like London as soon as she can.

Here they are no "No Ball Games" signs, school is a 25 minute walk and there's public transport to shopping/cinema.

Plus this statement "oh! I see you don't really live in 'the country' as you can get to London is less than an hour" is nonsense. At least half of these places are within an hour of London and they are most definitely rural

Lol Brockenhurst is rural. Don’t make me laugh. I don’t know the other places. I got up to there. I know Brockenhurst very well. It’s in my doorstep. It’s definitely not rural. It is not less than one hour from London either. It is just over one hour from southampton central to London Waterloo. The trains to Brockenhurst goes via southampton. It will be over an hour. The new forest is very close to Bournemouth and southampton.

I can believe the poster about west wales being actually properly rural.

ha ha HeadDreamer, I do live in West Wales, so that is probably why my idea of 'rural' isn't Plumpton or Brockenhurst.

dullandold I like your countryside theme park description. It’s very appropriate.

thank you Dreamer!

Our children grew up in the country and seemed to cope well enough.
We always had a little taxi service amongst the parents for party pick ups etc.
No drugs as far as I know and are all still in touch now there are in their 20's and lives have moved off in different directions.
I dont think that children's rights to have everything on their doorstep trumps our wish to live in a quiet environment frankly.

Depends on the kids, and where you are going!

We live in a village 10mins from a city. There is an hourly bus,and an.hourly train. Not perfect, but there IS transport.

We like it, but are outdoorsy as a family, kids not that interested in hanging out in malls and other city stuff.

But yeah, I probably do more driving than city parents, but if I share lifts loads (esp. To far away cricket matches). If you can tap into a good mum network, liftsharing can be great.

Bad time to make a big change imho.

I know of Brockenhurst too Dreamer - I live
near the Hampshire / Wiltshire border. Whilst not a tiny, dreamy hamlet it is nevertheless the countryside - it has a population of 3,300 - see the link above which shows UK government definitions of 'rural' as areas with populations of less than 10,000. They use this definition of countryside for planning for social policy etc because - guess what - there areas have similar characteristics (and needs)

You seem to be confusing 'countryside' with 'remote'. A village doesn't have to be remote to be the countryside. This is the UK after all which is very densely populated - much of the countryside is within a few miles of an urban centre.

I will hazard a guess that the OP isn't necessarily planning to move to where Dull perhaps lives in a croft on the foothills of Snowdon or wherever...

Dullandold - you've don't need to live in Snowdonia to live in the country.
There is absolutely no doubt that I am right in the heart of the country. I live in a very beautiful village that consists of a church a village hall and a pub. The pub is 5 minutes walk from me. Next to the church. Which is conveniently next to the bus stop.

In fact I'll make it even simpler and post a picture from my terrace door and then perhaps you can point out where I've gone wrong in assuming I live in the country. Maybe I've missed the urban sprawl somewhere!
Yes I have farm shops - because the only thing around are farms !

But obviously not in the country because our tiny station somehow missed the Beeching cuts because a VIP lived here at the time .

- lovely pic - no high rise blocks you are right...
And interesting about the Beeching cuts...
We have a pub right opposite the station in our local town called 'The Lord Beeching' - total pisstake considering what he did for transport in Wales...

..I am probably just jealous that you can get to London in less than an hour...
I would have to take the huskies and sled over the mountain first...

The perception of the UK as an island bursting at the seems with dense urban population is so far from the truth and probably very telling in our reliance upon London-centric skewing of all things.

The facts are in fact the opposite .More than half of the UK land area is farmland (fields, orchards etc), just over a third might be termed natural or semi-natural (moors, heathland, natural grassland etc),

A little under 6% is built on (roads, buildings, airports, quarries etc) and 2.5% is green urban (parks, gardens, golf courses, sports pitches etc).

Given that 83 per cent of the population of the UK lives in urban areas it is not surprising that some people hold the opposite to be true. However, from a land cover point of view, the United Kingdom is in fact dominated by pasture and arable land.

You really don't have to look very far from anywhere to find the countryside. With only 6% town. The other 94 % gives us quite a lot of space to find our own little patch.

We moved from a town to a tiny village when my children were 10 and 13 (now 13 and 16)
Mixed reviews from them; my son (13) loves it he's a quite quirky little thing and loves the outdoor space - he got his tree house and his chickens. My daughter was 13 when we moved she found it tricky - small village few children. We were able to keep both children at their previous schools so my daughter finished high school with her peers and my son finished primary school with his. This was hugely successful and really helped- tbh we were only able to do this as we moved 20 mikes away and I commuted back for work anyway. My son is now at high school and we choose one half way between.
Overall it's been the right choice for us, we're all happier the house is bigger the children have their own 'half' we gave plenty of space to be together or be apart. And we're able to offer the children a home for as long as they need (the property we bought has a granny annexe in the garden that's been ear marked by my daughter)
I've just asked my daughter (16) and she says she's very happy (I'll be happier when she can drive though!)

No, don't do it! I grew up properly in the middle of nowhere. Couldn't hang out with my friends after school and felt really detached from what was going on in the small town where my comp was. As I got older I took a lot of risks with hitchhiking and walking/cylcling miles to see my friends and often stayed out all weekend with no intentions of going home until Sunday. Parents hadn't a clue what I was up to.
Miserable snd isolating existence.
DH and I Hagee compromised with a village with an excellent bus service, a shop, parks and a pub.

That is exactly my point. Country doesn't have to mean remote.

Perfectly easy to have best of both worlds . Just make sure wherever you choose has a decent bus service.

Most parents don't mind a quick drive down the lane to the bus stop of an evening - most object to a 15 mile shlep to the next town that takes 45 minutes out of the evening, disturbing their own plans .
There is a really easy compromise to be made with the minimum of research- and the quality of life benefits are beyond any financial value.

Wow lots of strong opinions on here about rural life (mainly from city dwellers).

We live rurally and have two teens, they are busy and stimulated and very social. We are in a lovely village on a bus route and they regularly take to bus or train into the local town or city for shipping, cinema, bowling, trampoline park, meals out etc.

They visit friends in neighbouring villages to hang out at each other's houses or have sleepovers, often go for walks around the countryside or visit the park.

In the summer they camp out in local fields with their friends.

My teens have jobs in the village pub and know everyone, there is a real community spirit with village fetes, pantomimes, local fun run, carols by candlelight etc.

The local schools are excellent with lots of parental involvement and support, there are a multitude of sports clubs (I find people very active around here).

We have a dog and do long family walks and picnics in the summer in the gorgeous countryside around us.

I really can't fault the life my teens lead.

Public transport is a massive consideration. We live in a village which is a 30 minute drive from the city though the bus takes almost an hour. Our services have been cut so much that the last bus home leaves the city at 6pm!
The public buses to the next larger village where the secondary school is finish at 3pm so if your children wanted to do an after school activity or visit a friend they wouldn't be able to catch a bus home.